


I Have Been Through the Gates

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2018-02-05 17:16:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 70,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1826026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When JJ has to go rescue her son from Will's rash actions, she finds an unlikely ally in one Erin Strauss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She had yet to see their Section Chief since their Senate meeting. It was as if the woman had been in hiding, unable to face them since that momentary slip in her façade. JJ didn't really mind her absence, yet there had been something so kind about the woman in the fourteen weeks that Hotch had been on his special assignment.

Sighing, she shut the file she was working on and turned off her desk lamp. Looking at the clock, she saw Henry would already be asleep. She'd missed time with him, again, and while she didn't relish that, she didn't mind not seeing Will. Their relationship had been so rocky lately, and she knew it was her return to the BAU that had precipitated it.

JJ picked up her briefcase and made her way to the elevators. As the doors opened, she saw the very woman she'd been thinking of, a pensive look on her face. "Good evening, Chief Strauss."

"Good evening, Agent Jareau. How are you?"

It was a perfunctory question, yet she gave an honest answer anyway. "I've been better, Ma'am. The long days are getting to us, unfortunately."

"I know how that is." The woman twisted her wedding band and stared at the doors. "How's Henry? He's almost three now, isn't he?"

JJ looked at her in surprise. "Yes, he is, and growing like a sunflower. He misses me almost as much as I miss him." Her phone buzzed against her thigh and she pulled it out, looking at the new text message. "Oh," she said sadly, feeling her heart clench tightly.

"What is it?" There was real concern in the woman's voice and JJ met her gaze, letting the tears come to her eyes.

"Will's gone home to Louisiana. Their flight just landed. I knew things were bad, but this?" The doors opened and they stepped out, heading for the parking garage. "My son is gone."

"He can't do that to you. Go after them, bring him home."

"Now?"

"Why not? He's your son, and there's no custody agreement stopping you." Strauss cut her words off and bit her lip, looking away from JJ.

"Is that what's been eating your heart?" JJ felt her own mother's heart melt for the woman and touched her shoulder gently. Their eyes met once more and she watched the first few tears roll down the woman's cheeks. Slowly, she nodded. "I'd need someone of authority to convince Will to hand Henry over. Do you feel up to making the journey with me?"

JJ watched the play of emotions warring on her face and smiled encouragingly. After a few long, tense, moments, the woman nodded. "Yes, I will help you, Agent Jareau. I still have a few favors, let me call one in." She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. "Hi Dick, sorry to bother you so late, but I need to use the jet. Yes, for somewhat personal business. There's no time to explain, and I could just have Ms. Garcia release those pictures of you and your assistant to the media, I've suppressed them so far. I'd thought you'd see it my way. We'll be at the airfield in thirty minutes, please have it ready by then." She hung up and shoved her phone back in her pocket.

"Are there really compromising photos of him?"

"Yes, there are. I don't like blackmail, but it was the quickest thing to get him to agree. For the sake of brevity, we should only take one vehicle to the airfield. I'm on the next lever up, where are you?"

"I'm just three cars down, actually." Strauss nodded and followed JJ. "Do you have a go bag or anything?"

"No, I'll be fine in this." JJ nodded and unlocked the car, trying not to cry as she looked at Henry's car seat. The drive to the airfield was silent, with Strauss staring out the window, tears tracking down her face that she absently swiped away. JJ knew she couldn't comment of the sorrow being displayed, and yet she felt like she had to commiserate somehow.

"It's only been a few days since I've seen Henry. Hotch had to be without Jack for fourteen weeks," she said lowly as she parked. "I can't imagine that much time away from my son."

They got out and she popped the trunk, pulling out a large duffle bag. "I wish it were only fourteen weeks." The statement was so quiet that JJ wasn't sure the other woman had spoken as she moved towards the plane. JJ lengthened her stride to catch up with Strauss and listened as she instructed the pilot to fly to New Orleans.

Once on the plane, JJ stowed her bag on one of the seats. Strauss found a blanket and stood there, a faint blush on her cheeks. "What is it?"

"I'd like to get some sleep while we fly down. I know it's only a two hour flight, but some sleep is better than no sleep." As JJ nodded, she took in the dark circles underneath Erin's eyes. They'd overlooked this, and JJ once more felt her heart soften towards the woman. "Would you mind turning around so I can take off my jacket and blouse? I don't want to wrinkle them."

JJ did as asked, listening to the sounds filling the cabin. Once she was sure it was safe, she turned to see Erin was facing the wall of the plane, the blanket pulled up around her shoulders. "Am I a bad mother?" she asked suddenly, somehow knowing the woman would give her an honest answer.

"No, Jennifer, you are a good mother. You deserve your child." She felt the breath being sucked from her body at the raw pain in Erin's voice. As she watched, the other woman's shoulders began to shake and silence filled the cabin. There were no words to say, no pithy statement that would make everything better. Instead, she closed her hand around Erin's shoulder, unable not to reach out.

She lay down on the other side of the plane, staring at Erin's back. Something had to change when they got back. She could see that now. "Try to sleep peacefully, Ma'am." JJ pillowed her head on her hands and found sleep to be a long time coming. The next thing JJ knew, the plane was beginning its descent.

Stretching, she turned to look at Erin. The woman was still sleeping, the blanket having slipped down to her waist sometime during the flight. JJ stood and went over to her, resting her hand on the woman's shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up in confusion. "Are we landing now?"

JJ nodded and watched Erin hurriedly cover her chest with the blanket. "We should be on the ground in ten minutes or so. I'm going to use the restroom a moment, try to freshen up." Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out her toothbrush and went to the back of the plane. When she came back out, the woman was dressed and checking something on her phone. "I hope that you're scoping out rooms to rent. It's three in the morning, and I don't want to wake Henry up right now."

Erin looked up, yawning slightly. "No, sorry, I was checking my email. Though curling up in a bed does sound nice." She blinked a few times, trying to stay awake. "I guess I'm not as young as I once was."

"And sorrow makes us long for sleep." JJ sat next to Erin, keeping a small bit of space between them. "This way, though, we'll get an earlier start. He won't think that I'd be coming down so soon. Thank you." She held out her hand and Erin clasped it lightly.

"You're welcome, Jennifer." Her name sounded so odd on Erin's lips, lovely and yet haunted. Few called her by her given name, and she rather liked it from the other woman for some reason she couldn't put a finger on. "Most likely, we'll only be able to get one room, when we get into town. It's so late at night."

"We share all the time on cases. I'm used to it by now." JJ squeezed her hand and then let go to wrap her arms around her legs as the plane taxied to a stop on the tarmac. Once they'd deplaned, an agent from the local field office met them and drove to a Hilton close to where Will's aunt lived. "Thanks, Mark," JJ said as she shouldered her go bag.

Joining Erin inside at the front desk, she saw the other woman putting away her credentials and pocketbook. "Thank you for all the advice. We're going to head up to our room now." She took the keys from the young woman's hand and turned to JJ. "Ready to head up?"

"Yes." She followed Erin over to the elevators and watched her push the button for floor fifteen. "We're near the top of the building?"

"It's all that was available." The elevator came to a stop and they got out, JJ following the other woman once more. The room was at the end of the hall and as soon as Erin had the door open, JJ felt her shoulders slump a little in relief. This was real; they were going to get her son back. The lights came on and JJ saw one king size bed dominated the room. "I think I'll sleep on the floor," Erin murmured.

"Nonsense." They stared each other down and JJ watched a faint blush once more stain the woman's fair skin. "The bed is plenty big enough for the two of us to sleep in it without touching." Setting her bag on the dressed, she pawed through it and tossed a nightshirt to Erin. "Here, wear that to bed." Turning back, she quickly stripped down to her panties before pulling another long shirt over her head.

When she went to get into bed, Erin was setting her clothes carefully on the chair next to the bed. Then she turned the lights off and crawled into bed. JJ barely felt the bed dip, and she turned to look at the other woman. "I set a wakeup call for eight with the front desk," she whispered and JJ nodded. At the movement, Erin turned to face the wall and JJ sighed as she let sleep steal over her exhausted mind.

The phone ringing woke her up hours later. Sitting up, she saw that Erin and she had moved closer together during their sleep, as if their bodies had sought out the warmth of each other. Reaching over, she picked up the phone and answered to hear an automated voice informing her that this was their wakeup call. Erin still slept, so JJ carefully disentangled herself from the sheets and slipped into the bathroom to take a quick shower. By the time she was back in the main room, Erin was dressed, her hair and makeup done.

"Do you want to head down and grab something to eat before we go claim Henry?" she asked, looking at a spot somewhere over JJ's shoulder.

"That would be nice," she replied as she twisted her hair up and stuck a clip on it. Picking up her purse, she let Erin lead them out of the room. She was slightly shocked when the woman eschewed the elevator, instead choosing the stairwell. "Fifteen flights of stairs at eight in the morning," she murmured as they started down.

"It's not like I get much experience in the field. I have to get my exercise somehow. Better down than up." JJ could hear the smile in Erin's voice and nodded, though she knew the other woman couldn't see her. "Have you thought about what you're going to say to Will?"

"No, but I hope it comes to me when we get to his aunt's house."

"Be tough as nails and do not back down one iota. You are in the right here and he will either give us Henry or come home on the jet with us. Those are his two options – that is what you will tell him. I will bring up the small matter of your being a federal employee and that anything done against you is a serious offense." Erin paused at the lobby level and waited for her to catch up. "And if he gives you hell, I'll have him arrested."

A tight, wounded, look passed over her face and JJ nodded. "I have complete faith in you, Erin." The woman bobbed her head once and they continued on to where the continental breakfast was set up. Suddenly, JJ's stomach was all knotted up and she passed on everything except two slices of toast and a cup of coffee. The only thing in Erin's hands was a glass of orange juice.

"If things should go south for any reason, grab Henry and go. I'll hold him off as long as I can." She sipped at her juice as if she expected JJ not to remark on the comment.

"I don't think so. We go in and out together," she said, then she took a large bite of toast, figuring two could play at this game of hers. Erin merely raised her eyebrow as JJ continued to eat. When she'd finished, they stood and she led them over to the concierge desk. "Excuse me, we'll need a cab with a toddler seat in it, please."

"Just one moment, ladies." The man made a quick call and then led them over to the door. Within two minutes there was a cab there and they got in. Nervous anticipation filled her stomach and she tapped her fingers against her thigh as the cab came closer and closer to his aunt's house.

"Wait here, please," she heard Erin say as they got out and began to go up the walk. Will had the door open before they knocked, a shocked, defeated, look on his face. "I take it you know why we're here, Mr. LaMontagne. If you hand over Henry, we can all go on with our lives. This is not how you want to deal with this situation."

"You just had to bring Strauss into it, cher." Will looked at her and she saw the anger boiling beneath the hangdog look he was putting on for the other woman. "Aunt Tammy, go get Henry, will you?" he called out, not moving from the door. He kept his eyes on JJ the entire time it took for his aunt to return with her son.

"Expect to find a court date set up when you return to Virginia. I'm through with you, Will." JJ took her son from the aunt's arms and stalked off, Erin keeping up with her as they went back to the waiting cab.

"Would you take us back to the hotel?" Erin asked as JJ buckled Henry into the car seat. Henry babbled on the entire ride and she listened to him, a smile on her face.

Back at the hotel, Erin took Henry up to the room while JJ went down the street to find a grocer. While she was in line with some juice boxes and crackers for her son, her phone rang. Pulling it out, she saw it was Will. "What do you want?"

"Just because you had that she-devil with you doesn't mean you'll keep me from my son. I'm coming for him and for you, cher. You can count on that. When you least expect it, I will take him back and you will never see us again."

"Don't count on that. After this little stunt, I'll get full custody and you won't get within an inch of my son." She hung up and tried to calm herself as she paid for the items. She walked briskly back to the hotel and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator.

"And that's why Mama will always love and protect you, Henry," she heard Erin softly say as she opened the door to their room. "And she will always be by your side, because she's a good mama who would do anything for you."

"Why you cwy Win?" Her son's voice tugged at her heartstrings, and JJ leaned against the door, watching them

"I just miss my children, Henry." He hugged her tightly and JJ watched Erin's shoulders shake as she cried.

"Hey, has Miss Erin been telling you stories while I was gone?" she asked, needing to let Erin know she was there.

"Yeah, Mama! Your friend is so nice! Like Miss Penny, only sadder. You should make her happy, Mama."

Erin tried to look away quickly, but JJ saw the tears still rolling down her cheeks. "I'm going to try, Henry. But you have to help me, okay?" He nodded and hugged Erin once more, giving her a slobbery toddler kiss. "Do you want to go home now, baby?"

"Yeah! Can Win come with us?" He looked up at her expectantly, his little hands still around Erin's waist.

"Well, she'll be on the plane with us, but she has her own home to go to."

"No! She comes home with us!" Henry frowned, his lower lip stunk in a pout.

JJ sighed. "We'll discuss this on the plane." She packed up her things quickly and turned back to look at them. Henry was nuzzling into Erin's chest, yawning largely. "Ready to go?" He looked at her and nodded, then turned his face back into Erin's shoulder. JJ picked up Erin's purse and they went out to the elevators.

As Erin rocked Henry back and forth, JJ checked them out and had a cab hailed for them. Erin loaded her son into the car seat and then climbed in the front next to the driver. When they reached the airfield, the pilot was just starting up the plane and once more, Henry decided to cling to Erin.

The plane had barely taken off when Henry and Erin fell asleep, and JJ smiled at them. Her phone rang and she answered it. "What is it, Hotch?"

"We're heading out on a new case. Where are you?"

"Coming home from New Orleans. Will took Henry last night and I went to bring him home."

"Well, I need you on this case. What's your ETA?"

"About two hours if the tailwind holds up. And I have no one to…no, never mind, I think I have someone who will take care of Henry until I get home. And you can't leave until I'm home anyway. I have the jet."

"And who approved that?"

"Strauss. I'll see you in two hours, Sir." She slipped her phone into her pocket and sat back in her seat to take in how peacefully they slept, seemingly unaware of the turmoil that surrounded them. As they got closer to Quantico, JJ woke Erin.

"Yes, Jennifer?" she asked softly, disentangling herself from Henry's grasp.

"There's a new case for our team and we're going to head out as soon as the jet gets refueled. I hate to be such a burden, but there's no one to watch Henry. Do you know of any good…?"

"I'll watch him. He seems comfortable with me, and until you can find someone you're comfortable with, I can do this." The determination in her voice belied the sadness in her eyes and JJ nodded.

"Thank you, Ma'am. I'm sure this will make Henry happy."

"That is all that matters in the end, Jennifer." Erin looked away from her to watch Henry. "Do you want me to take him to my home?"

"He might not like that. Would you mind going to our place? There's a guest room, so you can sleep. Erin?"

"Yes, Jennifer?"

Their eyes locked and JJ suddenly forgot what she was going to say. "Uh, Henry's potty training, still. We're using stickers as a reward. Every time he gets ten, he can pick a prize from the box."

"Anything else I should know?"

"He likes to cuddle before he goes to sleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, we usually let him crawl in with us. My cellphone number is on the fridge. If you have any questions, just call."

Henry sat up, rubbing his eyes. "My ears hurt, Mama."

"That's because we're landing, baby. Listen, Mama has to go to work when we land. Miss Erin is going to take care of you until I get home. Be good for her, okay?" He nodded. "Okay, I'll hold you to that."

The plane touched down and JJ could see they were still alone at the airfield. Erin lifted Henry into her arms once more while JJ dug her keys out of her purse. "Mama, kiss me?"

"Of course, Henry." She kissed his cheek softly, smiling at his giggle. "Remember, your best behavior."

"I know, Mama. Kiss Win, too?" JJ looked at Erin, who shrugged, looking at the floor. JJ leaned forward once more, quickly kissing Erin's cheek. "Yay, Mama! I love you."

"I love you, too, baby." They got off the plane and JJ watched Erin load Henry in the car and drive off as Hotch and the others pulled up. Sighing, she waved her hand in welcome, wondering if she had done the right thing. And yet somehow she knew Erin would need this time with her son to heal. And really, that was all that mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

They were just getting back to the hotel after their fourth grueling day in the field. JJ wanted nothing more than to hold her son after the carnage they were viewing. He seemed happy with Erin, and some of the sorrow seemed to be lifting from the other woman's voice. They had just stepped onto the floor where their rooms were when her phone rang. "JJ here."

"Jennifer, thank God. I don't know what to do." The stark terror in her voice shocked JJ and she hung back from the others. "He, he's here."

"Who's there, Erin? What's going on?" Involuntarily, she clutched her phone tighter, her brow furrowing.

"Will. I had just put Henry down in his bed, he fell asleep watching videos with me, when I thought I heard someone pull in the driveway. There was no one there, so I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, so I picked up the book I'd been reading and curled up on the couch. That's when the pounding started."

"And you're sure it's Will?"

"Positive. He was calling us both out, cursing us. I've called 911, but I'm so afraid of what will happen before they get here. He sounds so angry, Jennifer."

"Okay, here's what I want you to do. Get Henry and take him into the master bath. There's a walk in closet that he likes to hide in sometimes. He calls it his secret cave. There's still a long board in there from when we were propping the door open after painting. It will keep the door closed against anyone. Then I want you to call the police back and tell them where you are and that you will not come out until you confirm their badge number with dispatch. I'll be on the first flight home, okay?"

"Yes, Jennifer." Some of the terror had melted from her voice and JJ felt her hunched shoulders relax a little.

"Good. I'll see you soon." JJ hung up and stuffed the phone in her pocket. Sighing, she caught up to Hotch and touched his arm.

"Yes, JJ?" he asked, turning to look at her.

"I need to go home, Hotch. Will's trying to break in and Henry's nanny is terrified. I have to make sure my little boy is all right." The first tears prickled her eyes and he reached out to touch her shoulder. "Can you handle the rest of the case by yourself?"

"Of course we can. Get your things, I'll run you to the airport." She nodded and went to her hotel room. Emily was pulling out a t-shirt and boxers, and JJ nodded to her as she stuffed her things in her bag."

"Where are you going?"

"Home. Will's being an asshole and I have to make sure Henry and his nanny are okay." She paused to look at Emily. "Make sure when you find a guy, you aren't suckered in by his hot accent. Forget everything I ever told you about going for Mick Rawson."

"I don't have to worry about that, Jayje. I'm off the market for the foreseeable future. Or at least that's what Morgan would like. I'm not certain I'm ready for any type of relationship." Emily stepped forward and hugged her. "Go home, kick his ass, and give Henry a kiss for me."

"Will do, Em." She let go of the other woman and zipped up her bag. "I'll see you when you get back." JJ picked up her bag and met Hotch in the hallway.

"I booked you a ticket on the next flight out to DC. You leave in about one and a half hours, I've called ahead to let the TSA know you were coming through with your service weapon. Your boarding pass should be in your email by the time we get there. I'm so sorry this is happening to you, Jen."

"I am, too. I just hope none of this scars Henry. At least his nanny takes good care of him. I was lucky to get her services so quickly. Strauss said she was the best and she was right."

Aaron raised his eyebrows as he looked at her from the corner of his eye. "When did you get nanny advice from our Section Chief?"

"She went with me to get Henry. I needed the clout behind me to get my son with no protestations. When you called with the case, she told me the name of the nanny her and Victor used for their children. Now, I'm not so sure she'll want to stay with us."

"This is not your fault, Jen. I'll help you arrange something if she decides to move on."

"Thanks, Hotch." They fell silent for the rest of the ride, and she checked her email to see which airline she'd be flying. He dropped her off minutes later and she quickly found her gate after being escorted through security by an agent. She was pleasantly surprised to see Hotch had booked her a first class seat and she settled in, pulling out her iPod to listen to on the flight.

The moment her plane touched down, she dialed Penelope. "Hey, hun. Hotch told me what's going on. What do you need me to do?"

JJ released a nervous giggle. "I knew I could count on you, PG. Which precinct was Will taken to?"

"Just give me one second, sugar." JJ heard her friend tapping away at her keyboard and smiled. "All right, I've sent the info to your phone. So, listen, do you want me to do any extras? Like destroy his credit from now until doomsday? Or sign him up with NAMBLA?"

"That's okay, Penelope. He'll get his; I'm pressing charges."

"All right, but if you change your mind, I can make it happen in just a few keystrokes."

"I'll keep that in mind. Talk to you later." JJ hung up and then checked out the information Penelope had sent her. He'd been taken to Precinct 12, and she smiled a little wider. They knew the lead detective there, having consulted with him on a case last year. JJ went out to the front of the airport and hailed a cab, telling the driver where to take her.

Her earlier fear burned away under the flame of anger that built as they got closer to the precinct building. She paid the man and went inside, wanting, hoping, to see his smug face behind bars. "May I help you?" a young woman asked as she went up to the information desk.

"Yes, I need to speak with whoever was at my house earlier this evening, dealing with a domestic disturbance. My name is Jennifer Jareau." She used her credentials to verify who she was and the girl nodded.

"That would be Sergeant Mullins. He's just finishing up some of the paperwork for that case, actually. Third desk on the right."

"Thank you." JJ smiled and stalked off to find the man. His head was bent over his desk and she cleared her throat.

"Hello, Agent Jareau. I wasn't expecting you here so soon." She was shocked that the man knew who she was. "Mrs. Strauss showed me your picture in case you did get here before I went off duty. She also asked that I give you this." He held out his hand and she took a shiny key from his palm.

"What's this for?" she asked as she turned it over and over.

"Your new house key. She said to tell you the locks had been changed," he replied as he stood up. "I assume you want to press charges against him?"

"Yes, Sergeant Mullins. Whatever you can throw at him and make stick."

"Will do, Agent Jareau. Are you ready to head home?" She nodded. "All right, let's head out. Mrs. Strauss wanted me to give you a ride, since you don't have your car." JJ followed him out to his car and as she buckled her belt, he said to her, "Your sister is a formidable woman."

"That she is, but she's not my sister, she's my boss."

"Oh." That kept him quiet the entire ride to her home and she stared out the window at the passing scenery. "I'll contact you with all the information I need sometime tomorrow afternoon when I come on shift. Have a pleasant evening."

"You too, Sergeant." She climbed out of the car and took in her home. All the lights were on, and she noticed a pane of glass was broken in one of her upstairs windows. Sighing, she unlocked her door and stepped inside. JJ walked through her home, seeing if anything else was broken or damaged.

No one was downstairs, and she shut the lights off as she came across them. Climbing the stairs, she wondered if she should speak, to let Erin know she was in the house. The woman had already been terrified enough for the night. "I'm home, Erin," she called out softly once she'd reached the top of the stairs.

"We're in your room." JJ turned towards the sound of the other woman's voice and went into her room. Henry was asleep, his head in Erin's lap, the covers pulled up around them. "I'd get up and welcome you home, but I've only just gotten him back to sleep. He enjoyed talking to the police officers."

"At least he wasn't scared."

"I worked hard not to let my fear show." Henry twisted around in his sleep, allowing Erin to get up. Wincing, she walked up to JJ. "I'm so sorry, Jennifer."

"For what? You protected my son, you did everything right. But why are you limping?"

Erin absently rubbed her hip as she looked away from JJ. "I fell running up with stairs to get to Henry. I'm sure it will be fine come the morning. I hope you don't mind the locks, I had them changed the day I got here. I hate when my fears turn out to be true."

Erin had neatly turned the conversation from herself and JJ frowned. "I don't care about the locks, all I care about is that you and Henry are safe. There's a Jacuzzi tub in the master bath. Relax and use some of my bubble bath. I'm going to make some supper for myself. When you're done, join me and we'll talk."

JJ stared at Erin until her shoulders slumped a tiny bit. "The State Department changed you."

"They made me unafraid to speak my mind, of letting other people know my desires. And right now, all I desire is some food and the company of the woman who puts my son so at ease."

Erin nodded and took a step back. "I'll be down in about half an hour." Turning, she limped into the bathroom and JJ didn't leave her spot until she heard the water running. She went over to her sleeping son and kissed his forehead gently.

"I love you, baby. I'm so glad Miss Erin was here to protect you." JJ kissed him once more and then went downstairs to find something to eat. As she opened her refrigerator, she saw that Erin had gone grocery shopping as there was fresh fruit and vegetables inside. Pulling out some peaches, she cut them up into chunks and added them to the already cut pineapple before going into the living room and flipping on the television.

JJ found some old episodes of _Dharma and Greg_ on and settled back in the couch. After one had ended, she smelt her bubble bath and knew Erin had joined her. "Hey. I thought I'd watch something funny. Come, join me."

Erin took a seat and JJ offered her the bowl of fruit. "Thank you," Erin whispered as she plucked out a chunk of pineapple, popping it in her mouth. JJ tried not to notice how red Erin's eyes were, as if she had spent the entire time in the bath sobbing. "I'll pay to have the window pane replaced. Will did that to scare me more. I hate being afraid."

"I do, too. When I was young, we used to live really close to the woods. I hated every thunderstorm, since my sister told me that was when the monsters came out. I learned not to be scared of the woods, but to know that there are monsters who lurk in the dark."

"I was always afraid of storms, too. This, though, was true terror." She drew in a shuddery breath. "I was so afraid he would get in and take Henry and that I would fail in protecting him."

"But you didn't fail. You kept him safe and made sure he stayed protected." JJ reached out and patted Erin's hand. She clasped it tightly and JJ ran her thumb along the back of it. It seemed the tender gesture was enough to make the woman cry and she pulled away from JJ to wrap her arms around her legs.

"I'm glad you at least have faith in me." JJ copied Erin's pose and stared at her, wondering if the woman would continue to open up to her. "Victor left me last April. One of the downsides of marrying a successful attorney is they know how to work the system in their favor. I haven't seen my children since Easter."

"Oh Erin…"

"That's why I was so glad that all of you stayed with the BAU. Much though I don't like the maverick attitude, you work as a cohesive group and make my life easier." She took another deep breath. "I can count on you to close seventeen cases in fourteen weeks with just four members in the field. And all the paperwork distracts me from what's missing when I finally go home at night."

"It's okay to say you're hurting to someone, honey." The endearment just slipped off her tongue and they locked eyes again. The hurt that Erin couldn't mask any longer shocked JJ to the core. "How long have you tried to go it alone?"

"I-I don't even remember how long it's been. It's not like I have many friends, I've never been good at that part of life. There was too much to focus on to be friendly along the way."

"Yet you managed to get married and have three kids."

"Because it was expected of me. I love my children, more than life, but I never wanted them until I had them. God, that makes me sound like such an unfeeling bitch."

"No, it makes you sound normal. Henry was totally unexpected and I can't imagine not having him, but he definitely changed things in my life. We're told to want children from the moment we're born, forced into the role of motherhood before we can talk." Erin nodded and yawned. "Come on, let's get to bed. We're both exhausted. Thank God tomorrow is Sunday and I don't need to be in the office."

They went upstairs and Erin disappeared into the guest the room. JJ went into her own room and pulled out a t-shirt and shorts to sleep in before heading into the bathroom to shower. She couldn't help but laugh a little over the fact that all of her bath products were arranged in a neat row, a far cry from the usual cluttered mess.

Once she was clean and relaxed, JJ stepped out of the shower and dried off, then dressed quickly for bed. Henry was still sound asleep, and she decided to check on Erin. Padding quietly across the hall, she opened the guest room door and looked in. The bright moonlight spilled across the bed, adding a silver glow to Erin's hair and skin. She was curled up in the fetal position, a pillow clutched to her chest.

JJ stepped inside and went to the bed, pulling the covers up around her shoulders. "Sleep well, Erin," she whispered as she brushed a piece of hair from her face. Erin's cheeks were still wet with tears and she wiped a few away with her thumb. From the depth of her sleep, Erin nuzzled into the touch and JJ felt her heart ache strangely. Maybe they really weren't so different after all.

She went back to her room and crawled in next to Henry, pulling him close to her as her eyes closed heavily. Sleep came over her quickly and her grip on him relaxed a little. Her last thought was of Erin and how to make her happy.

In the morning, she woke up to feel her son shaking her shoulder. "Mama, Win is making us breakfast. She told me to see if you were 'wake. Come on." He tugged on her hand and she groaned slightly, not ready to be up yet. Looking at the clock, she saw it was nearly nine, and that she'd been sleeping for nearly ten hours. It didn't feel that long.

She slipped out of bed and followed Henry down into the kitchen. Erin was plating the food, a small smile on her lips. "Good morning, Jennifer. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. And you?"

A faint blush stained Erin's cheeks as she set the plates on the table. "I had some odd dreams, but other than that, yes. Do you want me to brew some coffee this morning?"

"No, I'll just have juice." JJ pulled the bottle out of the fridge and poured herself a glass. "Would you like some?" Erin nodded and JJ filled another glass. She put the cups on the table and then took a seat. As they ate, she listened to Henry chatter on with Erin. The bond they were developing was strangely beautiful and JJ found herself grinning.

"I'm going to go watch cartoons now, Mama," Henry said very matter-of-factly once his plate was empty. Getting up, he ran off for the den.

"He's such a bundle of energy. I assume you're going to be putting him in kindergarten next year?"

"I wish that I could just start him in kindergarten. He reads on his own already."

"I noticed that when I was telling him bedtime stories. He knew when I'd missed a word, or a phrase. Have you looked into early kindergarten?"

"No school around here will accept him. They don't want kids to begin until they're five." JJ sighed as she loaded the plates into the dishwasher. "I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but I feel he'll be so freakin' bored by the time he starts real school. I've seen what boredom and frustration can do to kids."

"That won't happen to Henry. You're too good of a mother." Erin brushed up against her as she dumped out the remains of her glass. "We all know the signs to look out for, and you'll recognize them if they come."

"Unless I ignore them, not wanting to believe they're true. But he's not even four. I can worry about that later. How much do I owe you for this? I saw you went shopping and everything."

"You don't owe me anything. It was my pleasure to do this for you, Jennifer."

JJ just shook her head. "I can't use you like that, Erin. Your time is valuable."

"If you insist, the most I'll take is twenty dollars an evening. And last night doesn't count, because you were home."

"Fine." JJ opened her purse and pulled out her emergency hundred dollar bill she'd been saving in case she needed a tow. "Oh, looks like you'll have to take this, I don't have anything smaller."

"Jennifer." She just smiled at Erin until the other woman accepted the bill, slipping it into her pocket. "May I continue to watch Henry when you go on cases?"

JJ knew it took a lot for Erin to ask that of her and she nodded. "He loves you so much already, I can see it in the way he talks to you. You may not have wanted to be a mother, but you make a pretty wonderful one."

"Thank you." Erin reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and JJ reached out to still her hand. She looked at her oddly and JJ smiled. "I should get going now. I've laundry to do and a go bag to set up."

"Will I see you Monday?"

Erin shook her head. "Probably not. I don't make frequent trips to the bullpen, after all. I left my cell number on the fridge, under yours. Just let me know when you get called out on a case. Oh, and Henry loves the daycare facility on campus. He's made a few friends already"

"That's always good to hear. Have a wonderful day."

"You too, Jennifer." She picked up her purse and started for the door. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For listening to me. I didn't realize how much I needed that." Erin opened the door and stepped outside. JJ watched her from the kitchen window, a bemused smile on her face as she imagined what Penelope would say at this odd new friendship she was forging.


	3. Chapter 3

"All right everyone, wheels up in thirty minutes." Hotch looked at all of them as they exited the room. "A moment, JJ?" She nodded and came up to his side. "How did the court date go?"

"He showed up an hour late, I got full custody of Henry for the time being, and there's a restraining order out against Will. He's not to come within 250 yards of us at any time other than court appearances and supervised visitation times. I have to get the last of his things packed up and sent to his apartment and then I'll be free of him."

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask one of us. We'll protect you as best we can."

"Thanks, Hotch. I have to call my nanny and let her know to pick Henry up today. I'm so glad she decided to stick with us." JJ escaped out into the bullpen and down to her desk to grab her bag. Henry had been asking to see his Win all week and she was relieved to let them have some time together.

Pulling out her cellphone, she quickly looked up Erin's number in her contacts and dialed it. She picked up after two rings. "Yes, Jennifer?" she asked, a note of hope in her voice.

"We're headed out on a case in a few minutes. I'll be all the way out in Spokane, so communication will be rough. I'll try to call around his bedtime. Oh, and whatever you did with him, thank you. He hasn't had an accident all week."

"I just did what you do with the chart. Stay safe out in Spokane, okay?"

The worry in her voice caused JJ to smile for some reason. "I'll do my best. The boys hardly let me do the fun stuff anyway. I'm too green yet, if you can believe that."

"Well, for your current position, you are. And you have a child."

"What's Hotch's excuse then?"

"I know Agent Morgan has given him hell more than once, Jennifer. I'll see you when you get home."

"Yes, Ma'am." She hung up, a smile still on her face. Reid was still packing something in his bag and she went over to his desk. "Almost ready, Spence?"

He looked up at her in surprise. Things were still tense between them, but she kept trying to mend the rift she'd created. "Yes, JJ. How's everything at home? It must be difficult not having Will there to look after Henry. Is Garcia watching him while we're on cases?"

"No, I have a good friend watching him. She picks him up from daycare and brings him to my house every night we're gone."

"And Henry likes her?"

"He loves her. Now, let's get going, we wouldn't want to be late." JJ winced slightly as a wave of nausea swept over her.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, using his hand to steady her.

"I'm fine. It's probably just one of those stomach bugs that're going around." She readjusted her bag and rubbed her stomach absently as they walked out to where Morgan and Emily were waiting for an elevator.

"So, has anyone figured out what's up with Strauss?" Morgan asked as the elevator doors closed.

"No, but I have noticed she's been going easier on us. Do you think she's gearing up for some big attack on the BAU? I mean, I wouldn't put it past her," Emily replied.

JJ just shook her head. "Sometimes people change. I know it took you guys a little while to get used to my newfound assertiveness this past summer. Did you ever think she could be going through something that's made her change?"

"Why Jayje, it almost sounds like you're defending her."

"Maybe I am, Emily. She is the one that signed my transfer papers."

"It's foolish to begin trusting her, JJ. She always has some ulterior motive to her actions." The firm rebuff in Morgan's voice quieted her and she knew she had to tread carefully so as not to reveal what was happening in her home. There was no way they'd understand at this point.

"So, what do you think about this case?" JJ asked, changing the subject to something that she knew wouldn't end in an argument.

By the time they landed in Spokane, she was feeling a bit better, though still not at her top form. Hotch must have noticed her distress, because he had her stay behind at the police station with Reid to work on the geographic profile. They reconvened at five to brainstorm over all the new information they'd found.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help," Garcia said from the computer screen. "But fret not, my friends, I'll spend the rest of the evening searching for you. Garcia out." The link went dark once more and they all tried not to look defeated.

"Let's head to the hotel for the evening. We're not getting anything accomplished by banging our heads against the wall here. Bring your tablets, we'll bounce theories off each other over supper." They all nodded at Hotch and went out to the SUVs. JJ found herself nodding off on the short drive, try though she might to stay awake. "Jen, why don't you head on up to your room? You look even more white than you did when we landed."

"Yes, Sir." She yawned deeply and took the key from him hand. "If I'm asleep, Em, don't worry about waking me." Emily nodded and she trudged over to the elevator. On the ride up, she pulled out her cellphone and called home. "Hey, Erin."

"Jennifer, is everything okay? You don't sound well."

"My stomach is bothering me. I think I picked up one of the bugs going around. How's Henry?"

"He's been a little cranky tonight, and I think he might be running a fever. I've given him half an aspirin to bring down the fever. Is there anything else you want me to do?"

JJ thought for a moment "If he's still somewhat agreeable, try giving him a cool bath. Can I talk to him for a moment?"

"Of course." She heard Erin walk somewhere and then she was telling Henry: "Your Mama's on the phone, sweetie."

"Hi Mama." His voice was lackluster and she wondered if he felt as badly as she did. "Win let me sit on her lap while I ate. Thank you for letting her take care of me. I'm tired, Mama. Love you?"

"I love you, too, baby. Keep being good for Miss Erin, okay?"

"Okay, Mama. Here's Win." He gave the phone back to Erin.

"If he's not feeling better in the morning, I'll call in to take care of him. It sucks to be sick away from home."

"Don't I know it. Thank you again for doing this for me. I'm glad he's in hands I trust."

"Anything for you, Jennifer. I hope you feel better tomorrow." JJ was surprised at the tenderness in Erin's voice and smiled softly.

"Thank you, Erin. Have a peaceful evening." She hung up the phone and got out of the elevator, heading to her room. She flipped on a light and set her bag on the dresser. JJ pulled out her normal night outfit and quickly changed before crawling into bed and falling into a feverish sleep.

When JJ woke up to the alarm, she felt somewhat well-rested, though her stomach still roiled. "Are you feeling any better this morning?" She looked up to see Emily in the bathroom doorway, brushing her hair.

"A little. My stomach is still bothering me. I hope you don't pick this bug up, it's a doozy. It must be the new kids Henry's exposed to in daycare."

"Is he enjoying his new environment?"

"So far. He's made friends already, which is wonderful." JJ got out of bed and pulled out clothes for the day. "I wonder what's on the docket today?"

"Who knows? Hopefully those DNA results come back and we can narrow in on a suspect." She nodded and traded places with Emily, taking a quick shower and pulling her hair back in a ponytail. As she gazed at her reflection in the mirror, JJ saw she still looked like death warmed over.

"We're heading out now," Emily called out from the other room. "I grabbed you a poppy seed bagel to eat on the way to the police station. There's been another woman taken in the night." JJ stepped out of the bathroom and nodded, clipping her gun and credentials into place. They fell into step with each other as they walked down the hall to the elevators. Reid was there as well, looking exhausted.

"I think I'm coming down with your bug, Jayje. We could all end up out on sick leave at this rate." He touched his head and winced a little.

"Are your headaches back, too?" JJ asked in concern, stepping into the elevator once the doors opened.

"This one is just worse than normal. I think being coupled with the bug is actually exacerbating it. But I have to slog through this, we have a case to close." She nodded and patted his shoulder.

The ride to the police station was quiet, only Rossi and Morgan discussing various theories on the unsub. JJ turned on the laptop once they were all inside and was instantly pinged by Garcia. "Gather round, my fearless heroes. Penelope brings tidings of important news." Everyone joined JJ in front of the screen and Garcia grinned. "So, the news I have is hopeful, but not the best. The DNA results came back."

"So soon?" Hotch asked, looking slightly stunned.

"Yeah, and there's a problem. See, only half the markers turned up a hit. It's to a Paula Taylor and she's currently serving time at a maximum security prison in Oregon."

"Did you check to see if she had any children?" Reid asked, and JJ nodded.

"I did that, Boy Genius. That search came up negative as well. Her parents are still alive, so I contacted them this morning. Paula was an only child, so it's not a sibling, either. I'm sorry to not be more helpful."

"No, this actually might be really good, Penelope. We'll contact you later if we need anything else." Hotch ended the connection and turned to face them. "So, I'm assuming this is not a surprise to anyone. We've seen people with abandonment issues react badly before, making links were there are none. We just need to figure out the connection, especially with the DNA."

"She could have had a child and abandoned them at the hospital," Emily said.

"Except the Safe Haven laws didn't exist back then, Em," JJ countered. "We need to find out from Ms. Taylor herself if she ever had and gave up a child."

"She might not tell us the truth, though. What would there be in it for her?" Reid's brow furrowed. "There might be another way to find out, however." He pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number before putting it on speaker. "Hey Garcia, sorry to call back so soon, but could you check newspapers from 1975 to 1985 for any baby boys abandoned in the greater Spokane area?"

"No problem, Reid. I'll call you back in about half an hour."

"That would be big news back in the day," Morgan said lowly as he rubbed Emily's shoulder absently. "Do we know anything about the young woman taken last night?"

"Anna Johnson, twenty four, is a performer at the local theater. She was taken after rehearsal last night, which is how we were able to know she was taken so quickly. While no evidence was left behind, she does fit his type – red hair, slight build. We have less than forty eight hours to find her alive." Rossi set the file on the table and looked around at them. "And we're two members down."

"What?" JJ asked sharply.

"Jen, you're ill, and so is Reid. We can't afford to have you in the field at the moment. So while we brainstorm here together, it's just going to be the four of us heading out there." JJ nodded, a sigh escaping her lips. Then she touched her hand to her lips and looked around for the nearest bathroom.

When she came back, the others had gone and Reid was sitting in a chair, his head in his hands. "I hate feeling so sick," he said lowly. "I have always had a freakishly good immune system, and then I get taken down by a stupid stomach bug."

"I can only imagine how Henry is feeling. I just hope his nanny hasn't caught it as well. She hardly needs this in her life right now." JJ sank into the chair next to Reid and reclined back, closing her eyes. Her phone rang and she pulled it out. "JJ here."

"Hello, Jennifer. How's the case going?"

"The others have gone to track down a lead. Reid and I are at the police station, since we were deemed too ill to be out on the field. How's Henry doing?"

"He's sleeping on the couch right now. We just got finished eating lunch, and I think I'm about to carry him upstairs to nap with me. I think I'm coming down with the bug as well."

"Sorry about that. I never meant for you to get ill."

"It's not too bad, just an upset stomach. Thankfully, I have a rather strong gag reflex. It sounded like the case is going to be rather short."

"Yeah, which would be nice for a change. I'll try not to wake you if we get in late tonight. Give Henry a kiss for me and tell him I love him."

"I will, Jennifer. Have a good day." They hung up and JJ smiled ruefully She wondered if Erin would ever feel comfortable enough to let her in further. Though she assumed she was the only one who knew about Victor leaving her.

"Is Henry okay?" She looked over at Reid.

"He has the same bug. I'll be glad to get home to him. Where did the others go?"

"Break in the case. Garcia managed to track down our unsub and they went after him. Most likely, we'll be leaving as soon as they get back."

Three hours later, the rest of the team came back, Morgan roughly bringing in a young man in handcuffs. As the local leos processed him, they gathered up all their equipment. "Okay, as soon as we check out of the hotel, we'll head out to the airfield. Wheels up in forty-five."

JJ nodded and followed Emily out to the SUVs. "Why don't you just stay in here and try to sleep? I'll bring our stuff down."

"Thanks, Em." JJ crawled into the very back and curled up on the seat, buckling herself in. She was asleep before Morgan even left the parking lot. When they got to the airfield, Emily woke her up and she stumbled onto the plane, her eyes still blurry from her nap. Reid looked much the same as she did, and even Rossi was beginning to look a bit green around the gills.

"All right, everyone, sick day tomorrow. No coming in to the office unless you feel well. You're dropping like flies and we don't need to pass it on to the entire department." Hotch met everyone's gaze, holding it until they nodded. "Good. I want you all to feel better."

JJ took the blanket Emily handed her. "So, do you want me to give you a ride home?"

"No, I should be fine, Em. Thanks for the offer, though." She pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and looked out the window. "I just hope Henry doesn't get it as bad as I have it. He's such a resilient little guy, but this is awful."

Emily nodded sympathetically and pulled out a book, delving into it as the plane took off. The four hour flight home seemed much longer than normal, and JJ was glad when they landed. They made it back to the Academy in record time, and she didn't even bother going up to her desk, instead heading right out to her car and driving home.

This was a much different homecoming than her last one. Not a single light shone in her house and she pulled into the garage, next to Erin's car. She had convinced her to park in Will's old spot, just in case he came back. Erin had tried to protest, but she didn't take no for an answer. Grabbing her go bag from the passenger seat, she made her way inside, dropping the bag on the kitchen table as she went past.

Going up to her bedroom, JJ took off her boots and turned to collapse on her bed, only to see Erin and Henry curled up there. Shrugging, she took off her bra and set it on her dresser and then crawled into bed with them. Her arm naturally fell around Erin's waist, cradling Henry between them. She fell asleep with a smile on her lips.

In the morning, she woke up feeling someone watching her. Blinking, she looked up into Erin's face. "Good morning, Erin."

"Good morning, Jennifer. Are you feeling better today?" JJ found herself unable to look away from Erin as she nodded. "That's good to hear. Is there something you'd like for breakfast?"

"No, nothing in particular." JJ sat up and looked around for her son. "Where's Henry?"

"He's downstairs in the den with my iPad. I downloaded some apps for him and he's been enamored with it since yesterday." Erin smiled slightly. "It's hard to say no to him."

"You should talk to Garcia about that. Henry has more stuff than I care to think of thanks to her generosity."

"She's a sweet woman. I'm still surprised the BAU hasn't broken her yet." Erin finally looked away from her to wrap her arms around her legs. JJ took in the still tousled hair and face free of makeup and smiled.

"Morgan keeps her sane. Well, I should say, they keep each other sane. I would love to have a best friend like that."

"So would I." Once more, Erin's words were so soft JJ wondered if she had spoken at all. "Even though I've never been good at having friends, I would love to have someone to talk to, someone who understood."

JJ reached out and covered Erin's hand with her own. "Maybe we could try to be that for each other? I mean, we're both without a partner now, we share that heartache. My son loves you, so you have a heart buried beneath the icy exterior that you show to the world."

"You don't want to hitch your wagon to a falling star, Jennifer," she whispered as she clasped her hand. "I would only drag you down with me."

The hurt and honesty in Erin's voice cut JJ to the bone. This is what she'd been hiding for so long, the yearning for a friendly face, a soft touch, yet unable to ask for it, thinking herself corrupt. "You're not a falling star. We're fallen angels who are looking for paradise. If we team up, we might find it a little sooner."

Erin looked up, a tiny smile on her face. "Most people would be inclined to call me a devil, and I'd be tempted to agree."

"Lucifer himself was once the brightest angel in the heavens. You know, together we could wreak havoc." JJ felt her own smile grow larger and Erin responded in kind, nodding hesitantly. "Good. Now, let's go make breakfast together."

JJ stood and held out her hand to Erin. "I'm not too good at together, yet."

"And I'm not too sure our little experiment won't blow up in our faces. But we have to try." She clasped Erin's hand, noticing how soft it was, and led her down to the kitchen. "Toast and eggs?"

"Sure." JJ opened the fridge and pulled out the egg carton, setting it on the counter. Henry came running into the room, giggling about something as he threw his arms around Erin and JJ grinned at them, knowing she had made a good decision to reach out to the woman.


	4. Chapter 4

JJ groaned in frustration as she looked at the stack of paperwork on her desk. While she had gotten over her stomach bug fairly quickly, saving for mid-morning bouts of nausea, the bug had really hit Rossi and Hotch hard, effectively grounding their teams for the next few days. Shaking her head, she took the next file off the stack and began to work through it.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up to see who was texting her. _So, are you tired of all the paperwork yet? She shook her head at Erin's question and quickly typed a response._

_Of course I am. I missed out on so much of this when I was the media liaison. But what can I do?_

_Go to lunch with me?_

JJ grinned at the prospect of getting out of the office for a little bit. _A better proposition, I've never heard. How do you plan on accomplishing it?_

She waited for Erin's answer to come. Finally, two minutes later, her phone buzzed again. _Like this._ JJ felt her brow furrow a little at the cryptic remark and focused on her work. "Agent Jareau, I need to see you in my office, please." Turning, she looked up at Erin and fought to keep a smile off her face.

"Of course, Chief Strauss." She stood and smoothed her skirt, picking up her cell phone as she followed Erin out the doors and down the hall. "I take it we're using the stairs this afternoon."

"Would you expect anything different?" Erin looked back at JJ, a quick grin on her face. JJ just shook her head and followed her down to the parking garage. "So, would you like to head to Mai Thai?"

JJ slid in the passenger seat and nodded. "I adore any sort of Asian food."

"Good." Erin started her car and drove quickly into the city. Once inside the restaurant, they were soon seated and JJ looked over the menu. "Order whatever you like, lunch is on me."

"What?"

"I invited you out, I pick up the tab. Besides, this is a relatively cheap place for lunch." Erin smiled as she looked over the menu.

JJ decided on what she wanted and they put their order in a few minutes later. "So, have you heard anything from your kids?"

"Kacey emailed me yesterday. Victor's getting really serious with a woman that Kacey cannot stand. She wants to come stay with me, but he won't let her." Erin sipped at her tea and sighed. "At least I know she misses me."

"I hate to say this, but your ex-husband sucks. What did you see in him?"

"A way to escape the life I'd been living. My parents expected me to graduate college with my MRS degree and I didn't want that. And then I met Victor and he needed a trophy wife. He promised me that I could do whatever I wanted with my life as long as I stood by his side."

"So your parents left you alone after that?" Erin nodded and JJ frowned slightly.

"It could have been worse. At least he didn't make his cheating obvious until last year." The waitress brought out their food and Erin smiled at her. "Thank you. So, has Will been leaving you alone?"

"Surprisingly, yes. Sometimes, I wish that I had followed Gideon's leading and fallen for Spence."

"Did you love Will?"

"Yes, for a time. But I wonder now what about him I loved. Maybe Henry was keeping us together." JJ picked up her chopsticks and began to eat. "I just want someone who is sweet and kind, who understands why I chose to come back to the BAU."

"You came back because they're your family, and family should mean everything in the world to us." Erin took a bite of her food and looked at the table. "I wish, but then…"

"What?" JJ reached across the table and caressed Erin's hand softly.

"I wish that everything could have been different." It was the most open she'd been with JJ, and she smiled encouragingly at the other woman. "If I had been nicer, better, maybe I wouldn't have been labeled frigid."

"He called you that?"

"Yes, many times. I never really got a handle on how certain things were supposed to happen, behind closed doors. As I said, I was one focused on more academic pursuits rather than carnal ones. I know I disappointed Victor when he found out I had the experience of a nun. I never denied him access to me, much though I didn't like it."

JJ was stunned by the woman's admission to her and by the trust Erin was placing in her. By revealing something so very intimate, Erin was telling her that she had faith in the ability JJ had to keep secrets. "I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"For what?" Erin looked at her, puzzlement radiating off her features.

"That you never found someone who could make your cork pop." Erin swallowed a giggle and JJ laughed lightly at the reaction. "Sex is amazing when you find someone in tune with your wants and desires."

"That's what I've heard. And seen. In our offices." JJ gasped. "Why do you think we have the current frat rules? David Rossi could never keep it in his pants after he and Carolyn split. I caught him with one of the newer agents in the conference room at one of the Christmas parties."

"Really? Is that why you guys fight so much?" Erin nodded. "Well, he shouldn't have done something so stupid in plain sight. It's his fault now that we can't openly date our colleagues."

Erin just shook her head. "There's life outside the Bureau. No one should be so wrapped up in their work that they feel they have to be married to it as well."

"Even if they find their soulmate?"

Erin blushed and looked away from JJ. "You believe in a soulmate?"

"I do. I know there's someone out there meant just for me. Will wasn't that person, so they must still be out there, waiting for me to find them." JJ sighed. "I'm a firm believer in fairytale endings."

"But what happens after 'they lived happily ever after'? What kind of life do they lead together?" Erin looked up at her, her eyes full of emotion. "There needs to be a foundation to the castle in the clouds."

"If you love someone, you make it work, no matter what. I should have seen this split coming years ago, you know. When I told Will I was pregnant, he joined us in New York. He was quite adamant about my leaving the field right then and there. I swear he thought I was some fragile china doll that would miscarry at the drop of a hat."

"A number of us were worried about that during your pregnancy, Jennifer. Most women choose to go on desk duty when they find themselves pregnant. Losing a child is devastating."

Jennifer caught Erin in her half-truth, knowing she meant that she had been worried, but couldn't admit as much yet. "Did you lose a baby?" Erin met her eye steadily as she nodded.

"They don't prepare you for the ache in your soul as you say goodbye to the life growing in you. He had a number of birth defects that, how did the doctor put it? Oh, yes, were not compatible with life. It was a blessing I went into pre-term labor, he said, as John would have just suffered horribly had he made it to full term and I'd delivered him live."

JJ longed to ask why Erin was telling her all this, so soon, and then remembered her aching need for a friend, for someone to confide in, who wouldn't judge her. "I didn't know. Oh god, Erin, I'm so sorry."

"I got to hold him, for a little while, before they took him away. He was so tiny, so beautiful. And when Agent Hotchner informed me of your pregnancy, I was truly afraid for you. John would have been the same age as Jack." JJ felt the first tears slip down her cheeks and she flicked them away with her knuckle. "I don't mean to be so morose, I'm sorry. See, I told you I'm not good at this."

"You're being honest, Erin. Honesty is painful at times. Is that why you were on a leave of absence when Elle started with our division?" Erin nodded. "No one even knew. Hotch and Gideon never had anything positive to say about you. Why did you never step in?"

"And expose myself to the wolves looking for a fault in me? No thank you. It's hard enough being open and vulnerable to you." She touched her hair self-consciously. "So, you went to college on a soccer scholarship?"

"Yeah, I had quite the mean kick back in the day."

"How come Agent Hotchner didn't ask you to help out with Jack's soccer team then?"

"I suppose he thought I wouldn't want to, given that I wasn't with the Bureau at the time." JJ felt her phone buzz and took it out. "Excuse me, I have to see who this text it from." Erin pursed her lips as she nodded and JJ smiled at her. The text was from Morgan, wondering where she was. She handed the phone over to the other woman. "Do you want to answer him?"

"Really?" JJ just raised her eyebrow in challenge, to see if Erin would let herself be spontaneous. "Okay." She tapped away on the screen and then hit send before handing the phone back.

"It's the end of the world, the Ice Queen has me running errands with her?" she read aloud, frowning slightly at Erin.

"Do you really want the others to know you're willingly at lunch with me? They'd think you were insane. I'm perfectly content to remain in the background. Besides, I know they're waiting for me to drop the other shoe, so to speak." There was a deep sadness lingering behind Erin's smile and JJ felt a pang of regret at ever thinking the woman cold and uncaring.

The waitress brought the bill and Erin quickly stuffed some money inside. "We have to head back so soon?"

"It's been forty five minutes, Jennifer. I can't take you away from your work for much longer."

"Yes, but if Morgan thinks I'm running errands with you, we could spend another hour together. To come back too quickly would make them wonder as well."

"And here I thought Ms. Garcia was the persistent one on your team. All right, we'll stop at Joyce before we head back. There's a dress I've had my eye on, and I'd like an honest opinion of it."

JJ smiled. "That sounds fun. Let's go." She stood and waited for Erin to join her. They walked back out to the car and Erin drove to the secluded boutique. "This is such a hidden gem," she whispered as they parked.

"One of my assistants mentioned it to me a few years back and I've shopped here exclusively ever since." Erin held open the door for JJ and then led her over to the dress. "What do you think, is it too young for me?"

JJ assessed the dress critically and then took it down from the rack and held it against Erin's body. They both blushed faintly as the back of JJ's hand brushed against Erin's breast. "I can't tell without seeing it on you," she finally said. "Go, try it on and let me see how you look in it."

Erin nodded and disappeared into a dressing room. JJ checked out some blouses while she waited, finding quite a few that she really liked. "Well, what do you think now?" She turned and watched as Erin nervously smoothed the full skirt. The emerald green fabric accentuated her light blue eyes, while the waist made her small frame seem even slighter. The neckline, while modest, was still low cut enough to show off her cleavage.

"This is the perfect dress for you, Erin. We'll have to find someone for you to date and you'll knock their socks off." Erin smiled and looked down at her feet. "You don't believe me."

"You almost make it sound like I'm pretty. I know that's not true, I see myself in the mirror every morning. All I want to know is if I look too ridiculous."

JJ reached out and touched Erin's shoulder gently. "You aren't just pretty, you aren't ridiculous looking, you are absolutely lovely." A single tear rolled down Erin's cheek and she brushed it away with her thumb. "Erin, honey, friends tell each other the truth in love. You look spectacular in that dress."

Erin sighed, her shoulders shrugging a little as she tried to stifle her tears. "I suppose this means I'm getting the dress. I'll just go and change and then we can get out of here." She slipped into the changing room once more and JJ hummed under her breath. When Erin rejoined her, her blouse was slightly askew and JJ fought the urge to straighten it. "Thank you."

To JJ's surprise, Erin reached out for her hand, clasping it tightly as they walked up to the register. Once she'd paid, they went out to the car and JJ found herself regretting having to let go of Erin's hand. "We should do this more often, Erin. I had a lot of fun this afternoon."

"I enjoyed myself as well. Just text me whenever you want to lunch." She tugged at her blouse a little. "Why does this feel so odd?"

"I think you may have misbuttoned it."

"Oh, right." Erin quickly rebuttoned the blouse correctly and JJ found her eyes drawn to the expanse of creamy skin that Erin revealed. Their eyes met once more as JJ followed the nimble fingers up her body and she blushed, looking out the window. "So, how much more paperwork do you have to do?"

"It seems like years' worth. We're assisting other teams as well, since they're going out on the field while we twiddle our thumbs waiting for Hotch and Rossi to get better." She smiled a little. "At least I get to be out of the office tomorrow. Morgan's letting me tag along on an interview with one of the serial killers at Fairview."

"That's a three hour drive. Will you be home in time to pick Henry up?"

"I didn't even think about that. Would you?"

"Sure. I'll have supper waiting, too. Does lasagna sound good?"

JJ nodded enthusiastically and they fell silent for the rest of the short drive. Erin managed to get her spot back and they got out. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, then." She looked at Erin as an awkward silence filled the parking garage. "I'm sorry, I have to do this." Stepping forward, she hugged Erin tightly for a few seconds.

"Jennifer?" she questioned as she pulled away from the embrace.

"You needed a hug, Erin. If Henry were here, he would have done so. Until tomorrow." Erin nodded and walked off, pausing to look over her shoulder as she waited for the elevator. JJ smiled and began to walk towards the elevator when the doors opened. Erin stepped inside and the doors closed before JJ could get there.

She waited for the next car and thought about her day. It had been so wonderful to spend it in the company of a friend, someone who understood the job she did. While there might be life outside the Bureau, few understood truly what they did and went through. JJ found herself humming once more and she stepped into the bullpen with a grin on her face.

"That glad to be rid of her, Jayje?" She turned to look at Penelope, the smile fading a little.

"Oh yeah, she was such a hardass today. We had to go to some stuffy restaurant and I took notes while everyone else was talking. And then she grilled me on my interview tomorrow. But, I suppose it's the least I can do. She did go down to New Orleans and rescue Henry with me." JJ set her purse on her desk and took a seat.

"She did?" Penelope sat on the edge of her desk, her arms akimbo. "You never told me that."

"What was there to tell? We were riding the elevator together when I got the text from Will, and she volunteered to go with me. I think she really has changed a little."

"I've been wondering about her. She smiled at me in the hallway yesterday, and it wasn't fake at all. I think she could be really nice, if she wanted to. There's something about her eyes."

JJ smiled at her friend. "You're becoming great at reading people, PG. Ever think about taking the classes and becoming one of us?"

She vehemently shook her head, her curls flying. "No. I'll stick to the electronic world I know so well. Does this mean I have to be nice to her, too?"

"I wonder what would happen if we were? I mean, we expect her to be awful and treat her in kind. Maybe if we treated her nicely, she would change." Penelope nodded as she stood, smoothing her skirt. "Hey, why don't you come over for supper tonight? I'm sure Henry would love to see his godmother."

"That sounds like fun, Jayje. We'll leave here at six?" JJ nodded and watched her leave before opening the next file in the stack that needed to be finished.

A shadow fell over her desk and she looked up to see Derek standing there. "Yes?" she asked shortly, putting down her pen. He just shook his head.

"Was your lunch break really that horrible?" he asked, smirking a little.

"Yeah, that's it Derek. It couldn't possibly be this pile of work I have to do, or the fact I'm going to be even further behind when I start researching Mark Paulson this afternoon so I'm ready for the interview tomorrow. It just has to be her fault since everything is her fault."

"Whoa, sorry I asked." He seemed genuinely shocked by her ire and she just stared up at him. "I was thinking of leaving at seven tomorrow morning. Will that work for you?"

"That'll be fine. Henry doesn't have preschool tomorrow, so I can just drop him off here at the daycare. I told his nanny about the trip already, so she'll be picking him up in the afternoon." She looked down at her desk. "I'll be here at quarter to."

"I could always pick you up if that would be easier." He seemed eager to mollify her and she just shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

"No, I'll come here. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do." She coolly stared him down until he nodded and went back to his own desk. Shaking her head, she delved back into the file on her desk, the words swimming before her eyes. A few moments later, her phone buzzed and she looked to see who had texted her.

_What sort of wine do you want tomorrow? I forgot to ask earlier._

She smiled at Erin's text. _I'm in the mood for something sweet. Maybe a German eiswein? ___

_Sounds delicious. I'll pick it up tonight after work._

JJ nodded, even though she knew it was an empty gesture. Leaning back, she set her phone on the desk and began to hum once more. Coming home to Erin and her son tomorrow made the grueling day in front of her seem all the more bearable. Sitting forward in her chair, she signed off on the report and then began to look over the information regarding Paulson. He was a twisted bastard, and JJ felt any sense of lightheartedness fade from her mind as she read what he'd done to the older men and women he'd kidnapped.

Shuddering, she found to keep her composure and focus on the matter at hand. He'd only been convicted of fourteen murders. There were still twenty eight missing people who fit his type. Morgan said he wanted her to come up with a strategy to get the truth out of him and bring closure to those families. Looking up at Henry's picture, she squared her shoulders and dove back into the horrid details of the man's crimes.


	5. Chapter 5

They landed earlier than she'd expected and JJ pulled out her phone. It was just after seven, and she figured Erin was giving Henry his nightly bath at this time. While the case hadn't been too bad, she was still exhausted for some reason, and she'd been ill a few mornings. It had passed once she'd eaten something, but it still worried her a little.

"Do you want to head out with us for drinks?" Emily asked as they walked to the waiting SUVs.

"No, I'd better not. Henry misses me when I'm gone too long. He's still not used to Will being gone. I wish I could be home more often, but I can't afford to take time off. Not now, at least."

"What about his nanny? I thought he loved her?" Reid asked as he opened the door for her.

"He does, but I don't want to rely on her too much. She's given up so much time to take care of him as it is." Emily nodded and started the vehicle, driving back to Quantico as fast as she could. "Have a good night, okay?" They nodded and jogged over to catch up with the others.

JJ shouldered her go bag and went over to her car. Looking in the back, she realized for the first time that Henry's car seat was still there. "So that's what she used the money I've been paying her for." Shaking her head, she started the car and drove home. As she pulled in the drive, she saw that the light in Henry's room was on and she hoped she'd made it home in time for stories. Parking, she bounded inside and climbed the stairs two at a time,

Opening the door to his room, she smiled as she took in the sight before her. Erin was rocking Henry back and forth in her arms, a gentle, sad, smile on her face. "And even though the evil king tried to keep the queen from her children, she refused to let him do so. Going to her mother's graveside, she prayed that there would be some way she could stay close to her children. Hearing the tinkling of bells, the distraught queen looked up saw a fairy come down to stand in front of her.

"Knowing the fairy would grant her one wish, she told the fairy that she wanted to be by her children's side forever. The fairy nodded and touched her lightly on the shoulders as a bright light blinded her. When the light faded, the queen looked down at her hands and saw they were gnarled and wrinkled. In her mind, she heard the fairy's voice tell her that when her children were old enough, she would revert back to her true form."

"What happens next, Win? Does the queen ever come back?" Henry reached up to touch Erin's face gently, rubbing her cheek as he stared up at her.

"I don't know, Henry. The story hasn't played out yet."

"But there's always a happy ever after in fairy tales. That's the rule." He pouted slightly and she bent to kiss his forehead.

"How do you think the story should end?"

"I think the queen should trick the evil king into admitting what he did before his people. They'll punish him and the queen will live happy ever after with children, ruling over the kingdom with a gentle hand." The words tumbled out of his mouth and JJ marveled at the complex ideas he'd just formed.

"That sounds like the perfect ending, sweetheart. We'll go with that." Henry grinned as he yawned. Looking over Erin's shoulder, he gasped as he saw her.

"Mama! You're home! Did you hear the story we made up?"

"I did, baby. It was a very good story. Are you ready to go to sleep?"

"As soon as you kiss me." He lifted his face and JJ closed the distance between them. Bending over Erin's shoulder, she lightly kissed her son's lips. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, Henry." He snuggled into Erin's arms, burying his head in her chest. "Let go of Erin now, you have to sleep."

He nodded and kissed Erin's cheek. "I love you, Win." Henry lay back in the bed and Erin stood, tucking him in. JJ noticed the slight shake in Erin's shoulders and slung her arm around her waist. Erin melted into the embrace and JJ wondered what was wrong.

"We'll see you in the morning, okay, Henry?" She turned Erin around and made for the door, only to hear her son whimper. "What is it?" she asked as they turned once more.

"Don't you love me, too, Win?"

JJ felt the deep sigh that erupted from Erin's body. "Of course I love you, Henry. Forever and always." As she watched, her son's eyes fluttered closed and he was soon asleep. She turned the overhead light off and tugged Erin out of the room. Once the door was closed, the first choked sob tore from her throat.

"What is it, Erin?" she asked as she guided her down the stairs and into the living room.

"Victor, Victor…" she managed to gasp out before the tears choked out her words. JJ helped her to sit on the sofa and Erin buried her face in her hands, letting the sobs out. JJ rubbed her back softly and Erin shuddered under the touches. The heart wrenching cries went on and on until she seemed to collapse in on herself. Curling her arm around Erin's shoulders, she pulled the woman close.

"What about Victor, Erin?" She tried to sound soothing, knowing it would put her at ease. The other woman didn't answer right away and JJ waited, not wanting to push her too much.

"He's getting married. Kacey emailed me last night. The wedding is tomorrow morning." Erin turned slightly and placed an arm around JJ's waist. "They're going to Germany."

"On their honeymoon?" she asked, though she knew there was more to it than that to devastate Erin so.

"No, to live. She works with the American consulate there and got Victor a job." Fresh tears wetted JJ's shirt and then fell silent as the grip on JJ's waist tightened. The minutes ticked by and she began to stroke Erin's hair. As Erin relaxed, the arm around her waist eased.

When she hadn't spoken for several minutes more, JJ quietly said, "Erin?" Getting no response, she disentangled herself from Erin's grasp. The woman had fallen asleep, her eyes swollen and red from her tears. Sighing, JJ got her into a more comfortable position, placing one of the throw pillows beneath her head.

Opening up the trunk that served as her coffee table, she pulled out a warm blanket and covered her friend. JJ's heart ached for her and she placed a feather-light kiss on Erin's forehead. There was no way she could leave her alone at a time like this, and she pulled out another blanket before curling up on the floor next to the sofa. She left the light on for Erin just in case she woke up in the middle of the night.

When she woke up, Erin was still sleeping. She looked at the clock on the fireplace mantle, her eyes widening with shock. They'd slept for thirteen straight hours and were both late for work. Standing quickly, she weaved a little as a wave of nausea swept over her. Shaking her head, she ran for the downstairs bathroom, losing what little remained in her stomach from the previous evening.

As she flushed the toilet, she stood, going to the sink to wash her face and brush her teeth. Someone knocked softly on the door and she opened it to see Erin there, holding out her cellphone. "Penelope called about a minute ago. I didn't answer, so it went right to voicemail. Are you all right?"

"I think so. At least, I feel fine now." She stepped out into the hall and took the phone from Erin's hand. "I'm probably getting the 'you're late' call from PG. We brief in forty five minutes and there is no way I'm making it in on time. Go take a shower while I call her back."

Erin shook her head. "I'm going to stay home today. I have a horrendous headache and fear for anyone who would make me angry today."

JJ touched her arm lightly, and Erin looked at her. "Does ice cream sound good to you right now?"

"A little. Why?"

"We'll have a girl's day in. I'll beg off work, too. You need someone to talk to about this and who else would listen to you at the moment?" Erin flinched and JJ realized how cold her words sounded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so cold."

Erin shrugged and looked down at the floor. "It's an honest assessment."

"It was hurtful and cruel." JJ closed the small distance between them and clasped Erin's hand with her free one. Slowly Erin tightened her fingers around JJ's. "Now, let me make the call to Hotch and then we'll see about ice cream for breakfast." Erin nodded and let go of JJ.

"I'll go check on Henry," she whispered before heading upstairs.

JJ watched her go and then dialed Hotch's number. "Hey. I just woke up and saw Garcia had called. I don't think I'll be able to make it in today. Henry refused to go to sleep last night and now I have a major headache. Can you get by without me?"

"The case is somewhat local, so we could swing it today. Is your iPad at home or here?"

"I brought it home last night since I didn't go up to the bullpen."

"I'll have Garcia forward you all the information on the case, so you can stay caught up. Oh, and good job on that interview last week. Strauss was really impressed with the work you did."

"Really?"

"Yes. She made a point of saying so to me. It's rare that you get praise from her."

"Maybe she's softening up a little. She seems different since Easter."

"After what happened… I mean, I wouldn't know, Jen. I've learned not to trust her."

JJ sighed, wondering what he knew about her friend's situation. "A part of me wants to trust her, though. She's looked out for me in the past. And she had been so helpful with Henry." She bit the inside of her cheek after she said that, wondering if she'd revealed too much.

"There's always room for change. See you tomorrow." He hung up and she released the breath she'd been holding. JJ heard a commotion on the steps and looked up to see Erin coming down, Henry on her hip.

"You have two good legs, mister. What do you think you're doing, making Miss Erin carry you?" she asked as she stared into his eyes.

"Win wanted to carry me, Mama." He turned his face and kissed Erin's cheek. "And you were sleeping too late. I already had breakfast." JJ felt her eyes widen. "It was just some apples. They were all I could reach in the fridge, Mama."

"Why don't you run and play for a while? Miss Erin and I have to eat and then we're going to talk for a little bit." Henry nodded and took off for the den. JJ held out her hand to Erin, not really expecting her to clasp it as tightly as she did. "So, I think I still have an unopened quart of chocolate marshmallow in the freezer."

"That sounds absolutely delicious." They ambled into the kitchen and while JJ raided the freezer, Erin got out bowls and spoons. "I wish you didn't feel so obligated to me."

"It's not an obligation to care for you. I think highly of you. Hotch said you praised me?" She smiled as she set the carton on the counter.

"I did. You performed about and beyond expectations by getting Paulson to give up his other dump sites. You brought closure to fourteen families. If that's not amazing work, I don't know what is." She held out the bowls as JJ filled tem and then they went back into the living room. Erin curled up on the sofa, covering her legs with the blanket. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"You." JJ sat on the floor in front of Erin, looking up at her.

"There's not much to talk about there." She focused on her bowl and JJ clucked her tongue. "What?"

"Let's see, we could start with why you call me Jennifer."

She looked up at JJ, shock on her face. "Only your friends call you JJ."

"And I count you among them now."

Erin swallowed, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I rather like calling you Jennifer. It's an elegant name, and I love elegance."

"Ah." JJ was warmed by the answer for some reason and she ate a little more of the ice cream to give her room to think. "What's her name?"

"Rachel Weir. Well, Rachel Strauss in about two hours. Kacey doesn't want to go, but her father won't let her stay."

"Fight for her."

"I've tried, Jennifer. There's no more fight left in me. My heart aches more every time the judges reject my motion. That's why I went with you, to get Henry. I used his own dirty trick against Will. But I couldn't see another person suffer unjustly. I couldn't let him destroy you the way Victor has destroyed me." The tears were falling freely down her face and she picked at the ice cream, not looking at JJ. "What did you see in Will?"

The abrupt change in subject was beginning to feel normal to JJ as she understood it was Erin's coping mechanism for when things go too personal. "His accent. I know that makes me sound so shallow, but that accent made butterflies dance in my stomach. And he has a lovely smile."

"He always seemed so pleasant the few times I interacted with him, before all this." Erin set aside her bowl and wiped her cheeks free of tears, meeting JJ's eye once more. "Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't given in to my parents' wishes, if I would have found true love. Or if I'd even know what it felt like."

"I'm beginning to think that true love isn't the fireworks and dazzle we've been lead to think it is, but rather being perfectly content with someone who knows every wart and wrinkle in you. Or at least, that's what I'll be looking for this time." She looked at Erin and saw her nod in agreement. "What will you be looking for?"

"Someone who listens to me. Who isn't afraid of my sharp edges." She sighed and rested her head on her hand. "I want someone willing to be patient and kind." She blushed a little as she looked over JJ's shoulder.

"What is it, Erin?"

"It's silly, but I want to find someone like you." She fell silent and JJ felt her heart melt at the tender admission. "See, I told you it was silly."

"No, it's very flattering. So, where did you grow up?" she asked, hoping to steer their conversation to something that wouldn't embarrass Erin and get her to talk once more.

"In Hartford, Connecticut. My father taught history at Trinity College. I think it upset him when I chose to go to Yale instead. I just didn't want to be Dr. Vos' daughter. I wanted to earn my grades based on my merit. And then I dared to apply to Harvard Law, which is how I met Victor."

"Did you ever get your law degree?" JJ asked, scooting forward a little to be closer to her.

"No. I was in my second year when he asked me to marry him. He's gotten an offer to work at one of the most prestigious law firms in Virginia and so we went. I applied to the FBI and was chosen to work with the BSU by Jason Gideon."

"Really?" Erin nodded. "What happened to change everything?"

"Equal opportunity and the glass ceiling. The higher ups decided to promote me, not based on my merits, but on my sex. I hated it just as much as Jason and David, but they never listened to me. They'd damned me as a traitorous bitch before I got back to the bunker. I may have gone overboard in my need for revenge."

It was probably the closest she'd ever come to apologizing and JJ took it for face value. "But something changed in you long before Victor left."

"Yes. That awful case in Milwaukee. Agent Morgan was so hostile towards me, not that I didn't deserve it, but it hurt my heart to know the truth of where I stood. And then I stepped on that poor woman's hair."

"Hotch knew how shaken you were by that, didn't he?"

"Yes. And while he wasn't kind, he understood. Despite everything I had tried to do, he felt for me." Erin drew in a deep breath. "I never expected that small gesture to move me so."

"He's good at that. But I don't think I could fall for the silent brooding type like Penelope has." JJ found herself biting her cheek once more that day as she revealed another secret to someone.

"It's all right. I kept my mouth shut about Dr. Reid and Agent Seaver. I can keep this under wraps as well." A tender smile spread across her face. "Though I wish they'd find happiness elsewhere."

"Life is so fleeting, though. I'd jump at any chance of happiness." JJ reached out and touched Erin's knee. The other woman covered her hand and JJ felt her heart skip a beat. There was something so incredibly lovely about her in that moment and she felt herself leaning forward.

"Mama!" Henry wailed as he ran into the room, his cheeks read from crying. "Win!" He launched himself into Erin's open arms and the tender moment was broken by his loud sobs. "It hurts!"

"What hurts, precious?" Erin whispered as she rocked him back and forth.

"My head. I fell." He buried his face in her shoulder as he continued to cry. JJ climbed up on the couch and put her arm around Erin's shoulders, drawing both of them close to her.

"Are you bleeding, honey?" she asked as she rubbed his back.

"No, it just hurts." JJ gently felt along his head, looking for any bumps there. "Ouch!" he whimpered as her fingers ran over a rather large goose egg.

"How'd this happen, Henry?" She was concerned about the size of the bump and hoped she didn't have to take him to the hospital.

"I slipped off my chair playing Mawio. I guess I should be more careful." He turned his face to look at her, his lips still quavering.

"Accidents happen, my love. Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?" Henry turned back to Erin and nodded solemnly, taking her hand and guiding it to the spot that hurt. Erin turned him so she could find the spot and sweetly kissed him. "I used to know a pretty girl who cut off all her hair," she started to sing, rocking him once more. By the time she got to the last part, "And now I am in love with you and hope that you will stay," Henry was asleep and even JJ found herself lulled into a sense of peacefulness.

"You're so good with him, Erin. What would I do without you?"

"I'm sure you'd get by somehow. It's not like I'm indispensable to you."

"But you are, my friend. Henry loves you and that's all that it would take to endear you to me."

"Jennifer…"

"Erin," she replied, smiling at Erin until she smiled back. They settled into the couch and JJ made no move to draw back her arm, perfectly content to have it around Erin.


	6. Chapter 6

JJ heard Emily stir inside the bedroom as she threw up once more. This lingering stomach bug was beginning to annoy her mightily and she pushed herself to her feet. They were on the third, and hopefully last, day of their investigation and she wanted to get home to Henry…and to Erin.

They'd been growing closer in the two weeks since Victor remarried and she found herself utterly fascinated by the woman. It was so odd to consider her a close friend, and yet that's what she was becoming. After washing her face, she brushed her teeth and joined Emily in the other room.

"Hey, are you still not feeling well?" she asked as she pulled her shirt on.

"No, and I'm beginning to wonder what's up. I feel fine but for the nausea." She saw Emily raise an eyebrow at her and frowned. "Don't even say it, Em. There's no way I'm pregnant."

"When did you and Will stop having sex?" she probed.

"Two months ago. I'd have a bit of a bump by now. I did with Henry and had the hardest time keeping it from all of you. So believe me, I'd know." JJ touched her stomach lightly, trying to ignore the slight rise there that belied her statement to Emily. She didn't want to be pregnant. Especially not with Will's child.

"I hope your nanny is prepared for an infant, Jayje."

She glared at Emily as she holstered her gun. "I'm not pregnant. End of story." She went over to the door and stared pointedly. "Are you ready to head out?" Emily nodded and they went down to the lobby of the hotel. Rossi and Spencer were there already and she took a seat next to her friend. "Where're Morgan and Hotch?"

"Hotch had to call home. I guess there's a problem at Jack's school. His bully hit him on the playground yesterday and now he doesn't want to go to school."

"Do you blame the kid? He's tried to get the brat to like him the entire year." JJ raised her eyebrow at Rossi's curt remark.

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" she asked, curling her hand protectively around her middle.

"Psychopath in training might be a better term for it. Jack just keeps internalizing everything, despite Aaron trying to get him to talk about it." Rossi shook his head. "I just wish there was something we could do."

"Don't we all," Emily drolly replied. Hotch came up to them a few moments later, his face grim.

"All right, is everyone ready to head out?" he asked as he stood next to Emily. Morgan joined them at that moment, a bagel in his hand. "Couldn't that wait until we got to the police station?"

"Not really in the mood for doughnuts this morning," he replied with a smile. Hotch just shook his head and motioned for them to follow after him. JJ hung back with Spencer, wanting to talk to him.

"What's up, JJ?"

She smiled at the use of her nickname. "Nothing, I just wanted to talk. How are things going with Ashley?"

"Good. It's hard to get together since our schedules are so different. We're hoping to get out for lunch tomorrow, if we're back. And how are you? Has Will been leaving you alone?"

"So far. He's out on bond, waiting for the trial. It would have been so much easier had he just pled out, but then why should anything in my life be easy?" She shrugged and he smiled slightly.

"We have complicated jobs, why should our personal lives be different?" She nodded and then heard all their phones go off at the same time. "There must have been a break in the case," he said as he pulled his out.

JJ checked hers and noticed a new text message from Penelope. "It's devolved into a hostage situation now," she murmured, looking around at the others.

"Let's head out to the scene," Hotch said, opening the door for them. They filed out and JJ fought the roiling of her stomach. He looked at her in concern as she passed by. "Jen, hang on. Is everything okay?"

"Fine, just that lingering stomach bug. By the time we get to the scene, I'll be fine." She took his elbow and let him lead her to the cars. "Did you get things straightened out with Jack?"

"Penelope talked to him for a little bit and he went to school He's thriving educationally, but I don't want to stunt him socially or emotionally. We're going to make a decision when I get back. Something has to change." They got in the SUV and Morgan drove out to the site at a fast clip.

Sergeant Crawford filled them in on the details once they'd arrived, but all JJ seemed to focus on was the fact that the hostage, Nicole Bliss, was six months pregnant. She touched her stomach under the bullet proof vest and bit her lip. Hotch had Rossi take the bullhorn in order to reason with the unsub while SWAT and the rest of their team got into position.

At Rossi's word, they moved into the house. While Morgan and Reid subdued the unsub, JJ escorted Ms. Bliss outside. "Thank you so much," the young woman cried as she wrapped her arms around JJ.

"You're welcome." She led her over to the waiting ambulance. "The paramedics are going to check you out and make sure you and the baby are all right." JJ reached out and touched the other woman's stomach delicately.

"Will they prosecute him?" she asked in a quivery voice.

"Yes. He's done a lot of bad things and now he'll pay for them. A police officer will stop by the hospital to take your statement later." Ms. Bliss nodded and went willingly with the paramedics.

JJ joined the others and smiled slightly when Emily patted her shoulder lightly. "I guess we're homeward bound now."

"It'll be nice to get in early for a change. Well, semi-early." JJ stretched as she took off the vest and put it in the case. "Maybe I'll get to read Henry his bedtime story." The drive back to the hotel seemed much longer, but soon they were at the airfield. As the men loaded the bags into the cargo compartment, JJ and Emily got on the plane. She settled into a seat and pulled out her cellphone, deciding to text Erin.

_Erin, we're coming home now, so we should be home by four, our time._

_Do you still want me to pick up Henry?_ she texted back a few minutes later.

_Yes. And would you mind picking up three pregnancy tests as well?_

_Oh Jennifer, of course I will. I'll see you in a few hours._

JJ smiled and stuck her phone back in her pocket. She didn't want to think it true, but had to face facts. She and Will hadn't been using protection, since she'd thought there had been no need to. Counting back, she figured she had missed at least one period, if not two.

"Penny for your thoughts, Jayje?" She looked at Rossi and shrugged. He sat next to her and pulled out his notebook. "So, who's taking care of Henry?"

She looked at him, trying to figure out what he was driving at. The tone of his voice suggested he knew more than he was letting on, and she decided to proceed carefully. "She's a really sweet older woman. Henry absolutely adores her, and I couldn't ask for a better friend to listen to me right now."

"That's good, I suppose. Though I can't believe you'd call Strauss your friend." She felt her eyes widen as she drew in a low breath, looking around the cabin to see if anyone else had heard. No one was looking at her and she tried to relax.

"Why would you think E-Strauss is watching my son?" she asked evenly.

"People talk, Jen, especially that pretty girl who works in the daycare. She asked me why Strauss was picking Henry up so often now. Be careful, Jen. She's a snake in the grass and will turn on you in a heartbeat."

"No, she won't, David. I know her secrets and she knows mine. And I'll thank you to stay out of our relationship." She narrowed her eyes at him, pinning him with a glare to end all glares.

He shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn you, cara." He went back to whatever he was working on and she stared out the window, watching the clouds go by. The woman Rossi knew and the woman she knew were so very different, and yet they fit together to make the same whole. There were glimpses of the old Erin still there, she was still hard on the team. And yet, she was so tender with Henry. And with her.

The plane touched down at five after four and she rode with Morgan and Emily back to the Academy. The two chattered on about their plans for the weekend and JJ was content just to listen. They made it back before the others and she got right to work on her report, needing something to take her mind off the coming evening.

Time passed slowly and finally, at five, she felt her phone buzz. _Heading home now. See you in a few._ JJ smiled and began to finish up the report. With it finished, she ran it up to Hotch and then picked up her things. Waving to Reid and Emily, she headed out the door and waited for the elevator. JJ found herself tapping her toe as she rode down, anxiety filling her.

When she pulled in her driveway, she saw that the kitchen light was on and she smiled. After parking, she came in, smelling supper. Going over to where she knew Erin and her son waited, she opened the door and looked in on them. Henry was already eating, though she noticed no plate in front of Erin.

"Hi, Henry. I'm home."

"Hi, Mama. Win got us chicken from the grocery story 'cause it smelled good. I was really hungry, so she let me eat first. Hurry up and sit so Win can eat, too."

JJ smiled and took a seat, watching Erin get up and pull two plates out of the oven. "There wouldn't have been enough time to make supper this evening. I hope you don't mind store bought."

"This is fine, Erin. Thank you for taking care of us." She took the plate from Erin's hands and waited for her to sit before she began to eat. "Did you have fun at pre-school today, Henry?"

"Yeah! We worked on counting and I made it to one hundred before the teacher had me stop. Then Win picked me up and brought me to daycare." As they ate, Henry chattered on about his day. Erin kept her water glass filled and she smiled at the woman every so often. After the meal, Erin began to clear the table, so JJ ran Henry upstairs, giving him a quick bath. "Mama, will Win read me a story tonight?"

"Don't you like my stories, Hen?" she asked as she pulled his pajamas on.

"Yes. But I like hers, too." JJ picked him up and carried him to his bedroom. Erin had turned down the covers already and she looked at the books on Henry's shelf.

"Should we read The Giving Tree tonight?"

"I guess, Mama." As he settled in the bed, JJ sat on the edge of it, then looked up at the door. Erin was leaning against the doorway, a tender smile on her face. JJ motioned her over and she sat behind her. JJ could feel her warm breath on her neck and leaned back to rest on her.

"Do you want to read this with me?" she asked, making herself comfortable.

"Sure." Erin wrapped an arm around JJ's waist to stabilize herself and rested her chin on JJ's shoulder. "What parts would you like me to read, Jennifer?"

"You be the tree and I'll be the boy." They began to read and as they went on. Erin's arm tightened slightly as her breath caught in her throat. When they'd finished, Henry was asleep and Erin let go of JJ. She turned to look at her and saw that she was wiping her eyes free of tears. "Erin?"

"This story always makes me cry. Kacey will come back to me one day, right?" She wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked at JJ. "At least, that's my hope. But enough about me. You have something you need to find out." Erin tucked Henry in and then kissed his forehead. "The tests are in my purse. I bought three different brands. They've changed a little in the seven years since I've used one."

JJ held out her hand and Erin took it, leading her downstairs. They went into the living room and Erin rummaged through her purse, pulling out the bag. "Would you sit outside the door and talk to me while I wait for my results."

"Of course I will, Jennifer." They went over to the downstairs bathroom and JJ slipped inside. Opening the first box, she read the instructions and then took it. She did the same for the other two and then set them on the sink. "Do you want to be pregnant?"

"Not really. Or at least, not with his child. Does that make me horrible?"

"No, it makes you human. Or at least, that's what a very wise woman told me not too long ago. Will you keep it if you do end up pregnant?"

"I think so. I can afford to take care of another child, so that won't stop me. It will be hard looking at a baby and seeing his face all the time, though. Does it bother you to see Victor in your children's faces?"

"Not really, no, because some of me is there as well, or at least it is in my girls. I hope you have a girl this time, if you are pregnant. It would make the sting a little more easy to bear. It's so funny, before the divorce, I favored my son over my girls most of the time. But now, now I just see Victor's face staring back at me, hear Victor's words parroted back at me, and I desperately try not to let it color my perceptions of him."

JJ could hear the sorrow in her voice and decided to steer her away from the pain. "Rossi warned me about you on the way home today. I think he's sleeping with one of the girls in the daycare center. He at least intimated as much to me. She has loose lips."

"And how did you respond?" Her voice sounded apprehensive and JJ could feel her heart break a little.

"I told him to go stuff himself. I know who I can trust. And you are one of those people." She took a deep breath. "I think it's been three minutes. Would you come in and look? I don't think I want to."

From outside, she heard Erin stand and then saw her come in. "Either way, I'll be here for Henry and you. If you want me to be, that is."

JJ looked up at her and smiled widely. "I don't think my son would ever forgive me if you were to leave us now." Erin's shoulders relaxed as she smiled. "Now, what do my tests say?"

Erin picked up the first one and her smile faltered a little. "The first yes. And another." She paused, biting her lip as she grabbed hold of the last test. "Make that three for three, Jennifer."

"And they can't all be wrong. I guess I'm really going to have a baby." JJ touched her stomach lightly. "Erin…" She choked up, tears falling hot and fast down her cheeks. Erin knelt in front of her and JJ collapsed onto her, wrapping her arms around her neck.

She could feel Erin's hands, soft and gentle, rubbing her back as she cried. "Jennifer, you'll be okay, I promise. I don't know what's brought us together, but no matter your decision, I'll stick by you." She felt Erin kiss the side of her head lightly and smiled, trying to catch her breath. Then they were standing and she was being guided into the living room. They curled up on the couch and she rested her head on Erin's shoulder.

"I don't want to tell the others yet."

"They'll figure it out soon enough. I've been with Henry for a month now, which means you are at least six weeks along. You're so tiny that you'll start showing soon and in a very obviously pregnant way. I remember how you looked with Henry, no one could mistake it for you just gaining weight."

"Well, there goes that plan. Could, could you stay the night with me? I don't want to be alone right now." She pulled back to look at Erin, staring into her eyes.

Erin nodded and JJ reached out to touch her face. She nuzzled into the light touch and JJ wondered at the trust she displayed. "My heart is tender, Jennifer."

"Mine, too. I need a friend and confidante more than ever." She got up and went over to the trunk, pulling out two blankets. JJ padded back to the couch and handed Erin one of the blankets. Before the other woman could protest, she laid down on the couch and rested her head on Erin's lap. "If only you could say the word and everything would be okay."

"Once you find out what those magic words are, will you tell them to me?" Erin sounded so very sad and JJ looked up at her to see she was crying a little once more. "I just want to feel normal."

JJ reached up and wiped away those tears. "Healing takes a long time, Erin."

"I know." Erin ran her hand along the top of JJ's head. "Are you going to fall asleep down here?"

"If you'll let me. I don't want to move right now." Erin nodded and made her seat recline, stretching out a little. JJ turned and snuggled into the couch. She could feel Erin's fingers take down her ponytail and run through her hair, working out any snarls she encountered. "Would you tell me about John?"

"I wanted a fourth child so badly. Don't ask me why, maybe it seemed like the perfect number. There would have been five years between Kacey and him, which is a good gap. At twenty three weeks, we learned he was going to be a boy and decided on John for his name, after Victor's father."

"Did you know about his problems beforehand?"

"Yes. I was at my sixth month appointment when the ultrasound tech made an odd face. He went out and got my doctor who proceeded to tell me the news. Victor did not react well to my failure." Erin paused and looked down into JJ's eyes. "I'd like to believe that may have been when he started stepping out on me."

"What an ass. You were hurting and all he could focus on was his own pleasure?"

"Yes, well, as long as it kept him happy, it kept me happy." She sighed. "Two weeks after that appointment is when I went into labor. Victor stayed only as long as he had to. It was better that way, you see. I had time to grieve in peace. He would have been blonde, like me."

JJ felt tears fall down onto her face and she tried to smile up at Erin, feeling like she was failing. "And you had no one to turn to."

"No. My colleagues wouldn't have wanted to hear all the intimate details of my baby's final hours here on Earth. That would have been a major downer at cocktail parties, let me tell you." Erin wiped away her tears and smiled back.

"Is that why you want to spend time with Henry?"

Erin winced slightly. "I'm not trying to replace the son I lost, believe me. There's just something so precious about spending time with him. He makes my heart sing when he puts his little head on my shoulder, or falls asleep against me…"

"I'm sorry." JJ reached up for Erin's hand, threading her fingers through the other woman's.

"For what?"

"I seem to keep saying things that hurt you. It's not my intention to do that deliberately, I swear."

"I know, Jennifer. I just have to realize that peeling off the callous on my heart means little things might hurt. But at least I'm feeling, right?" JJ brought Erin's hand down to her lips and softly kissed it. The other woman just sighed and turned slightly, pulling the blanket up higher around her chest. "Good night, Jennifer."

"Good night, Erin. Sweetest dreams." Erin's hand tightened around hers and JJ drifted off to sleep, her heart more at ease with her situation.


	7. Chapter 7

JJ had just gotten comfortable on the couch after having put Henry to bed for the evening when her phone rang. Groaning, she put down her book and stood, going over to the table where it was. The caller id showed up as unknown name, unknown number and she frowned slightly, deciding not to answer the phone. She brought the handset over though, and set it on the trunk next to her cellphone, trying to get comfortable once more.

She'd barely read a page when her cellphone buzzed, alerting her to a new text message. She picked it up and again did not recognize the number on the display. Are you in the house alone? she read aloud from the screen and shivered. She set the phone down to put a bookmark in her spot. Standing, she stuck her cellphone in her pocket and made her way upstairs, a sense of foreboding filling her mind and body.

JJ went into Henry's room and sat on the edge of his bed, putting her phone on silent. A few seconds passed and her phone rumbled in her hand. Another message was on the screen, this one a little more crude. At the end was a revealing _cher_ , and she felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest.

Suddenly, a bright light shone into Henry's room and she gasped in fear. He was here and she felt so vulnerable and alone. Carefully, she scooped Henry up and held him to her chest, carefully making her way downstairs. With one hand, she grabbed her keys and made her way out into the garage.

Henry stirred a little as she loaded him into his car seat and she kissed his cheek softly. "Shh, baby. Go back to sleep. We're going to take a short trip." She got behind the wheel and started the car before opening the door. On the street, she could see his car and she gulped. As she floored it out of her driveway, she pressed the On*Star button in her rearview mirror as she closed the garage door.

"On*Star, what can I help you with?"

The voice was calm, which helped to ease her a little. "My ex is following me. He showed up outside my house this evening. There's a restraining order against him."

"Is he following you now, Ma'am?"

JJ checked her rearview mirror and saw him close on her tail. "Yes. Would you please send a cop out to us? I'm going to head to a friend's house, but I don't want to lead him to her."

"All right, Ms. Jareau. We have two cruisers headed towards your current position. Just keep driving in your current direction, we'll be following you by GPS."

"Thank you." The woman signed off and JJ pulled out her cellphone. She'd added Erin's number to her number two speed dial spot a few days ago and pressed the button, putting her on speakerphone.

"Jennifer?"

That was all it took for JJ to burst into tears. "Erin, I'm coming over. Henry's with me."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't hide anything from you, can I? Will, Will is following me and I need a safe haven. I'm scared, Erin."

"Don't be. I'll protect you. Would you like me to call your team?"

"No. The police are coming." Hearing sirens, she glanced once more in the rearview mirror and saw the welcome red and blue lights. "In fact, I think that's them."

The On*Star chimed in on their conversation. "Ms. Jareau, the police have pulled up behind you and the car following you. As soon as they have him pulled over and in the police cruiser, you may continue on your way. They don't want to risk something happening to you should he decide to make a run for it."

"Okay." She slowed to a stop as a police cruiser came alongside her, eventually parking a short distance in front of her vehicle. In the rearview mirror, she watched as they pulled Will from his car. Checking the back seat, she saw that Henry was still fast asleep.

"Jennifer, is everything okay?" Erin sounded worried and she bit her lip.

"I forgot you were still on the line, Erin. I'm fine, I guess. They're cuffing him now. I'm about seven minutes from your house, but I don't know if they need to talk to me before they haul him in."

"I'll be waiting up for you, dearest. See you in a few."

JJ wondered if she realized that she'd called her a pet name and smiled slightly. Again, she watched the drama unfolding behind her, anxious to be done with this awful night. An officer ambled up to her and she rolled down her window to speak with her.

"All right, Ma'am. We'll be taking him to jail now, and letting the judge who issued the restraining order know of the violation. Would you like us to escort you anywhere?"

"No, I should be fine now. Thank you, though." The woman nodded at her and went back to her cruiser, taking off into the night. JJ put her car into drive and made her way to Erin's. The porch light was on and she felt herself relaxing while she parked. A face peeked out from the living room window and she smiled at Erin.

Just as she was climbing out of her car, the front door opened and Erin was running out. JJ was enveloped in a warm hug and she sank into Erin. "Thank God you're okay, Jennifer. I've been so worried."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, but I didn't know where else to turn. You were the first one that came to my mind." Hot tears began to track down her cheeks and she rested her head on Erin's shoulder.

"Shh, Jennifer, you're safe here. Go inside, I'll bring Henry in."

JJ nodded and let go of her friend to walk inside the house. She made a beeline for the living room and curled up on the couch. Erin went past the doorway a few moments later, Henry draped over her shoulder. She listened to the other woman carry her son up the stairs and waited for her to come back down. "I didn't even grab us clothes for tomorrow," she said lowly as Erin joined her on the couch.

"You were thinking about your son's safety. Instinct doesn't leave room for rational thought." JJ nodded as she took the blanket from Erin's hands, covering her legs with it. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, we're fine. I just, I just…" She sighed and looked at her hands. "Erin, will you hold me? I feel like I'm going to break into a million little pieces."

"Come over here." She patted the space between them and JJ scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "You are here and safe. Henry's still sleeping I don't think he even woke up."

"That's good." JJ ran her thumb over Erin's arm, trying to find her emotional center once more. "Why would he do this to me?"

"He wants to hurt you in any way he can. By making you afraid of your home, he knows he can do that." She felt Erin kiss her head softly.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, Jennifer." They fell silent and JJ snuggled even closer to her friend.

"I'm exhausted," she said with a yawn, looking up into Erin's face.

"Go sleep in my room. I don't have a guestroom set up yet. You would think I'd have taken care of that in the six months since the world turned."

JJ tightened her grip on Erin's waist. "You'll have to show me the way up. The only reason I know where your house is was I needed to know in case I had to drop Henry off on a Sunday."

Erin stood and helped JJ to her feet. For some reason, she didn't want to let go of her friend, craving the close contact of her body. "Do you have tomorrow off?"

"Unless we have a particularly brutal or pressing case come across our desks, I have until next Sunday off. Thursday is Thanksgiving and this is our year to have it off."

"Oh, that's right. I'd forgotten it was coming up so soon. Are you doing anything special for the holiday?"

"We were going to head down to New Orleans, but now I'll probably just take Henry to a restaurant. There's no point in cooking a big meal for just the two of us. What about you?"

"I'm going to stay home, watch the parade, maybe catch up a little on my reading." They turned into the first room off the stairs, and JJ saw her son sprawled out in the middle of the bed.

"Come with us. I'd love for you to be with us." JJ wondered at her impulsiveness, but hoped in her heart that Erin would say yes.

"I suppose, for Henry, I will. Now go to sleep and try to forget about what happened tonight." She stepped back from JJ and went over to the door. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Where are you going?"

"Downstairs. The sofa is calling my name." A faint blush stole across Erin's face. "Sweet dreams, Jennifer."

JJ knew it would be pointless to argue with her and nodded. "Sweet dreams, Erin." She turned to the bed and looked down on her son. Taking a deep breath, she pulled back the covers and crawled in. Sleep was a long time coming as she wished Erin was there, holding her, anchoring her in a safe harbor of understanding.

A few hours later, she woke with a start, her heart pounding unsteadily. The nightmare had been so real and she turned to see if Henry was still there. He was and she breathed out in relief. As she stared up at the ceiling, unwanted tears began to roll down her cheeks and she furiously wiped them away. Knowing she would never get back to sleep as she was, she got out of bed and went downstairs.

Erin was curled up on the couch, her arms pillowing her head on the cushion. JJ sank down to the floor and leaned against the couch, laying her head on her arm as she watched Erin and cried. "Why do I feel so safe with you?" she murmured, feeling the welcome tentacles of sleep envelop her once more.

In the morning, she woke up stiff and sore. She was covered with a blanket and smiled at the tender gesture from Erin. Standing up, she stretched and wrapped the blanket around her. JJ looked at the clock on the mantle and saw it was after ten. She went out into the hall and listened for any noise in the house. Finally, she heard her son giggling and she went towards the sound.

JJ found the kitchen, and them, and smiled at the scent of fresh baked cookies. "So this is where you've disappeared to."

"Mama! Win and I maked sugar cookies waiting for you to get up. They're almost ready to decorate." He beamed up at her, his face covered with streaks of flour. JJ took a seat next to her son and rested her head on her hands.

"Would you like some coffee? I just brewed a pot of Kona."

"Sure." Erin poured her a mug and then handed it to her. "This is just the thing I needed to wake me up this morning. So, who decided on cookies this morning?"

"That would be me. I thought it might be fun to bake on a lazy morning like this. I still have to make up the frosting."

"Can I help you with anything?" JJ asked as she sipped at her coffee.

"If you want, you can get the powdered sugar from the cupboard next to the fridge. I'll get out the eggs, milk, and butter." Erin brushed past JJ to get to the fridge and she leaned back against her, looking up into her face. "Yes, Jennifer?"

JJ shrugged and Erin just shook her head, a bemused smile on her lips. "I'll never want to go home if you keep making us feel so very welcome here."

"And how would you explain that to your team? After all, they aren't exactly keen on me. For good reason."

"How many of your decisions were made from a grieving mother's anger? After all, Hotch's son lived while yours died. I think I'd be a bit resentful if I had to deal with the constant reminder of what could have been."

She watched Erin close her eyes, her lips pursing as she breathed deeply through her nose. "I should have known that being friends with a profiler was a bad idea. That may have played a factor in things. But only as a reason, not an excuse. I should have been able to separate my personal problems from work."

"We bring who we are to our job. No matter what people say, it is so very difficult to separate the personal from the professional when it colors our every thought." JJ stood up and faced Erin. "And while my team is like an extension of my family, they do not have a say in who my friends are." She felt like she was going to drown in Erin's eyes and she leaned forward a little just as the timer on the oven rang.

They sprang apart and JJ went to the cupboard while Erin pulled out the last sheet of cookies, setting them on the counter next to the others. "Win said we made enough to give some to Aunt Penny and Uncle Spencer!" Henry latched onto her leg as she took out the bag of powdered sugar.

"That's good, sweetie. Do you need to get out any bowls or anything?"

"They're next to the sink here, so I'll get them out. Do you want to put sprinkles on them or anything, Henry?"

"Yeah! And can we make colors frosting?"

"Yes, we can make colored frosting, honey. All of the decorations are in the other cupboard, next to where you got the sugar, Jennifer." Erin pointed out which one JJ had to open and she did so, seeing the plethora before her. "I'm a bit of a baking fiend."

"I would never have guessed." JJ lifted Henry up into her arms so he could see what there was. She pulled out the food coloring and set it on the table. "What do you want to use on the cookies, my love?"

"Everything?" He looked over at her sweetly, trying to get his way.

"I should have known that would be your answer. Ooh." She touched her stomach with her free hand and set Henry down. "Erin, is there a bathroom down here?"

"Yeah, next to the pantry." Once more, Erin pointed her in the direction she needed to go and JJ took off, heading for the small room. Kneeling on the floor, she felt her stomach heave and then Erin was there, holding back her hair as she threw up. "Oh honey, I should have gotten you up to sleep on the couch this morning. Have the bouts of sickness been too horrible?"

"Not too bad, no, but it never was bad with Henry, either. Maybe that means I'm going to have another boy." Erin helped her to stand and flushed the toilet while JJ washed her face.

"There's a fresh toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. I hate the aftertaste of ick." She smiled at Erin in the mirror and then opened the cabinet to grab out the toothbrush. As she left, Erin gently touched JJ's stomach, smiling back.

She rejoined them in the kitchen moments later. Henry was clumsily holding onto a short butter knife, trying to spread the thick blue frosting. "This one's for you, Mama!" he said as he dipped the cookie in a shallow dish of sprinkles.

"Thank you, Henry." She sat down at the table and took the cookie from his hand. Erin set a glass of water and a plate of crackers in front of her. "And you, Erin." JJ reached out and covered Erin's hand, squeezing gently.

While watching Henry and Erin decorate the sugary confections, she nibbled at the crackers, letting her stomach settle. Erin pulled out two large paper plates and began to set the cookies on them. "Mama, can we get a pizza for lunch? I'm getting a little hungry."

JJ met Erin's eye and they smiled in unison. "I think there's the number to a local pizza place still on the side of the fridge."

"All right, does ham, bacon, extra cheese, light sauce sound good?" Both Henry and Erin nodded as she picked up the phone and dialed the number, placing their order moments later. "It will be here in forty five minutes. So, what can I do to help finish up?"

"Frost the cookies, Mama. That's the boring part." She laughed lightly and ruffled his hair before picking up the knife and quickly frosting the remaining ones. "Win, where are your children?"

"They had to go with their father to Germany. He married a woman from there, and since he has custody of them, they had to go."

"Is he the king in your story?" Erin and JJ locked eyes and she watched Erin's face crumble a little.

"You remembered that?" she asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

"I like your stories, Win. They're so good. Daddy tries to tell me stories, but he just read them off the page. You and Mama make all the right voices and everything. Are all daddies mean?" he asked, his little face scrunching up in a frown.

"Oh baby, no." Erin enveloped him in a hug. "There are some very wonderful daddies out there. Mr. Hotchner is a wonderful daddy to Jack. And Mr. Rossi would have been a wonderful poppa to his son had God not wanted him back so soon." JJ wrinkled her brow as she drank in that piece of information about Dave. It explained why cases involving children bothered him so. "I wish I could think of more right now, but I promise you, your daddy loves you, even if he is being mean to Mama right now."

"I love you, Win."

"I love you, too, Henry." She kissed his cheek and picked him up, holding him close. JJ could see how close she was to tears and she went over to them, holding them close to her. This seemed to open the floodgates for them all, with Henry's cries being the loudest. As the minutes ticked by, JJ wondered how her son had managed to keep this hurt about his father inside.

Finally, the tears abated and Henry wriggled free from their embrace. "I go play videogames now," he said as he took off for the living room. JJ nodded absently against Erin's shoulder, still holding on to her.

"Jennifer?" Her voice was tremulous, hesitant, and JJ felt her turn slightly in her arms.

"Yes, Erin?"

All she got in response was a deep, heart wrenching sigh and she tightened her arms around the older woman. Ever so carefully, her arms snaked around JJ's waist, holding onto her just as tightly. "There's still twenty minutes until the pizza arrives." Erin was closed off once more, her emotions under control and JJ nodded, releasing her.

Only Erin's eyes still showed her sorrow and JJ found herself drawn like a magnet to her. As they went out of the kitchen to join Henry, she clasped Erin's hand, refusing to let her go. And she wondered, for the first time, if she ever would be able to.


	8. Chapter 8

JJ smiled as she sipped at her soda. They'd gotten back from the case earlier than expected and she knew she couldn't beg off this time when asked to go out with the team. She texted Erin from the plane to let her know what was up. All Erin had texted back was _Have fun._ And she was, she supposed.

Hotch and Penelope were out on the dance floor, moving slowly to the up-tempo song, seeming oblivious to the gyrating bodies around them. "Aren't they cute?" Emily asked as she sat on the stool next to JJ's.

"A little, I suppose. Good thing Strauss is looking the other way when it comes to the frat rules."

"How would you know that?"

JJ took a quick sip of her soda to cover up her sharp intake of breath. "I hear things around the office, Em. After all, nothing was ever said about Reid and Seaver."

"You do have a point there." Morgan came up and joined them, handing Emily a glass of beer. "Thanks, Derek. So, when are you going to tell everyone you're expecting?"

She coughed a little as she swallowed her breath and looked at Morgan, who just shrugged, looking at her expectantly. "What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

"You haven't had a drop of alcohol all evening. Usually you have at least one beer. How far along are you?"

JJ sighed. Ever since the New Year, she'd known she'd have to tell them soon. "I'm about four months along." Emily smiled happily and wrapped her arms around JJ, squeezing tightly.

"You look so tiny still, though. Henry made you look pregnant at four months."

"I know." This was something that had concerned her, but then Erin had shown her pictures of her pregnancy with Kacey, and she'd been tiny the entire time as well. It had eased her heart a little, but she was still worried. JJ touched her stomach lightly, suddenly missing Erin and Henry.

"Pretty ring, Jayje." She smiled at Morgan and played with it slightly, twisting it back and forth. "Did you get it for Christmas?"

"Yeah." Erin had given it to her on Christmas Day, and she'd worn the emerald heart ever since. "I can't go anywhere without it on my finger now. Merry Christmas to me, right?" He nodded and drank some of his beer before heading out onto the dance floor. "Go, dance with him, Em."

"Come with me. Group dancing is more fun anyway." She tugged JJ out onto the floor with her and they bumped hips in time to the music as they joined Morgan. "So, what does your nanny think of the impending arrival? I mean, now she'll have to watch over a toddler and an infant."

"Ms. Vos can't wait until he or she is here. She loves children," JJ said loudly, trying to be heard above the music.

"That's always good to hear." She nodded and proceeded to dance through two songs before checking her watch and smiling at them.

"I should get going. It's kind of late."

They nodded and waved to her as she went back to their table, grabbing her coat. "Running home to your ball and chain, Jen?" She turned to look at Rossi, her mouth pursing into a frown.

"No, I'm going home to my son and my friend. There's a difference." He smirked at her and she longed to smack him. "You know, she thinks you would have been a good father."

The smirk faded from his face as she looked at him steadily. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. Erin thinks you would have been a good father. I don't know why you insist on having this stupid feud with her, yet she still, somehow, respects you. It makes no sense to me. I'll see you tomorrow." She put her coat on and brushed past him, finding herself suddenly so very angry with him.

"Jen, wait…"

She ignored him and walked out the door, stalking over to her car. JJ sat behind the wheel and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. It would do no good to come home angry. It would just upset Henry. And Erin. Turning the key, she started the engine and began to drive home. In the weeks since Christmas, she had become closer to Erin, bonding with the other woman. If she didn't know better, she'd swear she was falling for her.

Which was crazy. Wasn't it? She liked men, obviously, she thought as she touched her stomach. And yet, she thought back to their one conversation, where Erin had admitted she would be looking for someone like JJ. As the woman had softened to her, her rough edges sanding away, she'd become so sweet. She was becoming someone JJ could see herself with for the rest of her life.

She pulled into her garage and sat behind the wheel once more. No longer angry, she now was trying to calm her nervously beating heart. Rossi had opened a can of worms in her brain, and she didn't particularly like it. Stepping out of the car, she went inside, hanging her coat on a hook before putting her phone on the charger.

All the lights were off and she could hear the sound of the wind outside as she slipped off her boots. Creeping upstairs, she went into her bedroom and saw Henry curled up close to Erin. Smiling, she pulled out fleece pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt and went into the bathroom. After relieving herself, she washed her hands and face before changing for the night.

Neither one stirred as she pulled back the covers and crawled in. She spooned her body against Erin's, wrapping an arm around her waist. In her sleep, Erin snuggled back against JJ, a soft sigh coming from her lips. JJ fell asleep with a soft smile on her face.

When she woke up in the morning, Henry was gone and Erin was turned to face her. JJ softly breathed out as she brushed a strand of hair off her face. Erin blinked her eyes open and smiled at JJ. "Good morning, Jennifer."

"Good morning, Erin. Where's Henry?"

A faint blush stole across Erin's cheeks. "He woke up at two, having to go potty. I took him and then put him in his own bed."

"And you came back to me?"

"Yes," she replied, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Did the case end well?"

"Uh huh. And on a Friday, too, so we get the weekend off. Do you want to stay with us?"

Erin smiled gently, looking down at their entwined hands. "I would love that. Do you think Henry would like to go to the children's museum? They have a dinosaur exhibit that just opened."

"Yes, he would. He's getting to the dinosaur phase already. I can't believe he's growing up so quickly."

"Kacey loved dinosaurs so much. She told me she wanted to see Jurassic Park so badly when she was five, having seen an advert for it on television. She swore she wouldn't get scared, even when I explained that there were dark parts. Of course, she had nightmares for a week straight after Victor let her watch it against my protestations."

"Victor is a class A jerk, you realize this, right?"

"In hindsight, yes. But he made Kacey, and she is the light of my life. Oh god, Jennifer, I miss her so much." As she watched, Erin began to cry and she pulled her close, rubbing her back as the sobs tore out of her.

"Honey, what's wrong? You were so strong there for a few weeks."

"Today is her fourteenth birthday. We were going to have a mother-daughter day and do all of her favorite things."

"Like what?" JJ asked gently, caressing her face as she stared into Erin's eyes.

"Shopping, first and foremost. We were going to find her the perfect dress for her birthday dinner. And with a dress come shoes, a purse, jewelry, and makeup. Then we were going to see a movie, either The Iron Lady or Coriolanus."

"Interesting choices."

"She's an interesting girl. My little intellectual. I think she's going to follow in her grandfather's footsteps and become a professor. After the movie, I was going to take her to Barnes and Noble and let her have thirty minutes to pick out as many books as she wanted." Erin wrapped her arm around JJ's waist, her hand splaying out across her back.

"So much time?"

"If you went book shopping with her, you'd understand." She paused, looking for something in JJ's eyes. "Jennifer, what is this?"

"What's what?"

"This. This ease I feel with you, this need to be near you, to share my deepest hurts with you, and my greatest joys. I don't understand what I feel right now, and that bothers me. I'm not, I don't, oh, how do I articulate this? I don't like women, but I like you." Lowering her eyes, she snuggled closer to JJ once more. "I really like you. You make me feel safe and cared for. I never experienced this with Victor."

JJ could hear the hesitant honesty in her voice and held her tighter. "I really like you, too, Erin. I've never been in this position before, so I have no idea where this will lead. But I want to continue down this path, with you."

"I think I'd like that, Jennifer," whispered Erin, nuzzling her face into JJ's neck. "It's still early, could we just cuddle for a little bit?"

"Yes." There was something so freeing about that word and she let Erin pull her arm around her waist as she turned on her side to face the door, scooting back until their bodies melded together. "I feel so at ease with you, too, Erin. As if you understand me. You've never demanded anything of me on a personal level, you've just accepted me at face value."

"I could never make demands of one who's trusted me with their most precious gift – their child." She took a deep breath.

"What is it?"

"Henry. How do we explain this to him? All he's ever known is the heteronormative lifestyle. This might confuse him. Or worse, hurt him. I couldn't bear it if I hurt him, Jennifer." She could actually hear Erin shutting down emotionally as she thought out loud all the might be's of their relationship.

Ever so deliberately, JJ brought her hand up to rest on Erin's chest, over her heart. "You would never do anything to intentionally hurt Henry. Even if I were to start dating another man, he'd still have to get used to him, too. And he knows you, Erin, he loves you. In his eyes, you make the sun rise and set every day."

"Really?"

"Yes. I've never lied to you, Erin. And at this point, I don't think I ever will." She felt more than heard Erin's sigh and she smiled. "I hope that's a good sigh."

"Yes. It's a sigh of contentment." They fell silent and Erin covered JJ's hand with her own, running her thumb back and forth over the back of JJ's hand. "I'm going to take a shower, I think."

"Do you want me to join you?"

The saucy remark slipped out of JJ's mouth before she could stop to think about it, and she was relieved to hear Erin giggle a little in response. "No, I think I'm all set there, Jennifer, at least for the moment." She wriggled out of JJ's embrace and then quickly leaned down to kiss her cheek softly before going into the bathroom.

It was JJ's turn to laugh lowly as she touched her cheek in wonderment. Getting out of bed, she changed into fresh clothing and then went over to check on Henry. He was still sleeping and she ruffled his hair a little before kissing him. Backing out of the room, she nearly tripped over one of his toys and quickly righted herself, holding onto the wall as she willed her heart to stop pounding.

JJ went downstairs and began to look through her pantry for something to make for breakfast. She decided on oatmeal and brought the canister back with her into the kitchen. Then she pulled out three apples, milk, and cinnamon sugar. Mixing everything together in a large pot, she stirred it over a low flame.

The baby started to flutter a little in her stomach and she touched her slight bump with a smile on her face. Though it wasn't an ideal pregnancy, she had Erin by her side and her team at her back, and she knew she would pull through no matter what. The light scent of her body wash filled the room and she knew that Erin had joined her. "I hope you're in the mood of oatmeal this morning," she said as Erin came up behind her.

"Is that what the bean wanted?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Yeah." She leaned back a little, resting her head on Erin's shoulder. "So, am I your girlfriend?"

"I suppose so, but that seems so high school. We're not lovers, not yet, I'm not ready for that, at all. You'd think, for a society that loves to label things, we'd come up with something a little more grown up than girlfriend."

"Well then, I'll just have to call you my sweetheart, my darling, or my dearest until we take things to the next level." JJ turned her head slightly and kissed Erin's cheek before standing straight once more. "Would you mind setting the table while I finish this?"

"Certainly, Jennifer." She was oddly sad when Erin let go of her, instantly missing the warmth of her body.

"So, I should let you know that I kind of let slip to Rossi that you think he would have been a good father."

"When did this happen?"

JJ was surprised at the neutrality in Erin's voice, expecting her to be a little upset with her for the gaffe. "Last night. He was making me so angry, insinuating you were my ball and chain. It slipped out before I could check myself."

"And did it shut him up?"

She turned to look at Erin. "Yeah, it did." She smiled at her and was rewarded with a small smile back.

"Good. It's rare you can get him to shut up when he's on a tirade. But if you do think I'm too clingy, just tell me. I don't want to keep you from living your life."

"Oh, honey, you are a part of my life now." She absently stirred the oatmeal and then went over to Erin's side, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Are you always so touchy-feely?" Erin asked, running her fingers through JJ's hair.

"No, not really. It's the hormones, I think. But there's also something about you that calls out to be touched. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. I'm just not used to it yet. Victor wasn't the most tender of people, unfortunately." Erin rubbed her back softly and JJ relaxed into her. "Do you want me to go get Henry now?"

"Sure, breakfast should be ready by the time you get down here." She let go of Erin and watched her leave, noticing for the first time that she was wearing jeans. "Hey you!"

"What?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at JJ.

"Your ass looks great in those jeans."

"Really?" JJ nodded, smiling at the cocked eyebrow and narrowed eyes. "I have the feeling you are going to be absolutely incorrigible."

"Oh yeah?" she shot back, trying hard not to giggle as Erin's lips twitched.

"Yeah, Agent Jareau." Erin turned on her heel and walked off, her hips swinging. JJ found she couldn't tear her eyes away from Erin's ass and the throaty laugh she heard come from her lips told her Erin knew as much as well.

JJ turned back to the stove and pulled the pot off, bringing it to the table and portioning out the oatmeal. Erin had put cups at the three seats and she filled them with milk. She took the seat next to Henry's booster and waited for them. She heard her son run down the stairs and he burst into the room.

"Mama, Win's still here! Is she spending the wee'end with us?" he said as he climbed up in his seat.

"I think she is, Henry." JJ waited for Erin to make her appearance and she found herself sighing slightly at her return. "Did you tell Henry where we're going today, honey?"

"No, I thought I'd let you do that." She took a bite of her oatmeal and smiled slightly.

"We go out?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, we're going out," she gently corrected. "Miss Erin wants to take you to the children's museum today. There's a new exhibit there on dinosaurs."

"Really? Awesome! Oh, can we call Jack's dad and see if he can come, too?" JJ and Erin exchanged a look and she nodded slightly at her.

"I guess we could. Doesn't mean he'll be free, though, okay?" Henry nodded and began to chatter on animatedly to Erin about his love of dinosaurs as he ate, bouncing slightly in his seat.

When they were finished, Henry helped Erin load the dishwasher while JJ called Hotch. "Good morning, Hotch."

"Morning, Jen. What's up?" He sounded tired and then she heard Penelope's low _Boss Man?_ in the background and smiled.

"I was wondering if you'd like us to take Jack off your hands for a few hours. We're taking Henry to the new dinosaur exhibit and he wants Jack to come, too. So, what do you say?"

"Okay, yeah, sure. That'll give us some time together today, too."

"Wonderful. We'll be by in about an hour then." JJ hung up and smiled at her son and Erin. "We're a go. Run up and get dressed now, Hen. We have to leave the house in about fifteen minutes."

"Yes, Mama." He took off and she wrapped her arm around Erin's waist. She melted into the touch, wrapping her own arm around JJ's waist.

"Let me guess, Penelope is with him right now, isn't she?" Erin asked softly as she rested her head on JJ's shoulder.

"That she is. I think it was their first time together overnight."

"It'll be nice to take Jack for a while, then." JJ felt her turn her head and leaned into the kiss on her cheek. "I'm paying for our day out, all right? No arguments, no protestations, just let me do this."

"Of course, Erin, whatever you want." JJ stepped away from her to grab their purses and cell phones. "Henry, how's it coming?" she called up the stairs.

"Good, Mama." He came down the stairs at a fast clip, throwing his arms around her legs. "Let's go."

Erin took down their coats from the pegs by the door and shrugged into hers before helping Henry into his. They held hands as they walked out to the car and JJ put him in his car seat while Erin got in the passenger seat. The drive to Aaron's house went by quickly and JJ parked close to the building. "Do you want to come up with me?" JJ asked, looking at Erin.

"Do you think that wise?"

"He's my boss and he needs to know at some point. It might be safest to spring this on him during post-coital bliss."

"You do have a point there, Jennifer. All right, let's head up." She unbuckled her belt and got out, helping Henry out of the car. JJ took hold of the hand she held out and together they went up to the eighth floor. Erin knocked firmly on the door and they waited.

"Good morning," a tired, but happy looking, Penelope said. "Chief Strauss?" Penelope squinted a little, holding her robe closed a little more.

"Ms. Garcia, is Jack ready?" Penelope nodded and stepped into the apartment, holding the door open and inviting them in. Aaron was just tying Jack's shoes as he looked up at them. "Hello, Aaron."

"Erin, how are you?" He was guarded, giving JJ one of his patented we'll talk later looks.

"I'm doing well. Henry, what do you say to Mr. Hotchner?"

"Thank you for letting Jack come with us."

"You're welcome, Henry." JJ slipped her arm around Erin's waist and he nodded at them. "Have a good time." He put his arm around Penelope and JJ watched Erin nod in return. It seemed as if all the tension instantly drained from the room and Penelope's face broke into a wide grin.

"Mutual secret?" she asked, staring at Erin.

"Mutual secret, Ms. Garcia." Penelope squeed happily and stepped forward, hugging first JJ and then Erin. "We'll see you later." They walked out, and Erin stepped closer to JJ, humming a happy tune as they went down the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

JJ flopped back on the bed, rubbing her stomach absently as she stared at the ceiling. "What's wrong, Jayje?" Emily asked as she sat on the bed next to her.

"I'm fine. The peanut just is acting up a little more than usual today."

"Ah, I see. Why don't you turn in, then? I'll bring up some supper for you, if you want." Emily got up, patting her knee as JJ shook her head. She left the room, looking at her in concern.

As soon as she was gone, JJ pulled out her phone and dialed Erin. "Hi, sweetheart. Is Henry sleeping yet?"

"He went down about an hour ago. Are you feeling okay? You sound more tired than normal."

"That's one of the things I really like about you, Erin. You know me so well already." She sighed lightly, touching her stomach. "I'm not feeling really well today. I told Emily it was the baby moving more than usual, but I'm not sure it is that. It just hurts down there."

"As soon as you get home, you're going to the OB and getting that checked out, Jennifer. Okay?"

"Yes, Erin. Will you talk to me for a little while? This was the only time I could steal away for us." JJ curled up on her side, holding the phone close to her ear.

"Only a little while, honey. It's after nine here, remember. So, I heard from Kacey today."

"And?" JJ prompted, knowing bad news was coming. It usually did when Erin brought up her daughter these days.

"Rachel is pregnant. Victor is over the moon about it, I guess, and she's feeling left out. She asked to come home again. But I don't really have a home to give her anymore."

"Honey, if you wanted to bring Henry to your home, I would have no problem with that. I trust you enough now to do that. Kacey could be with us then."

She heard Erin take a deep, shaky breath. "Jennifer, I don't think it would work out anyway. First of all, Victor would never allow it. Second, I'm not the same person she remembers. I don't know how she'll react when I tell her I'm with you now, and I certainly cannot do that in an email. I know Victor reads our correspondence. But thank you for the offer. It does mean the world to me."

"Well, you mean the world to my son. We'll be home either tomorrow or the day after at this rate. Would you see if you can get me a Friday appointment? And will you go with me? I don't want to go alone."

"Yes and yes. It's kind of our baby now, isn't it?"

JJ could picture her biting her lip over the revealing remark and smiled. "Yes, it is." There was the hope of commitment in their comments and she longed to be home, in her arms. "You'll be waiting for me when I get home, right?"

"Yes, Jennifer. Sweetest dreams tonight."

"Sweetest dreams, my dearest." She loved using endearments with Erin, knowing it made her blush so, still unused to the kindnesses offered by an open, loving, person. Setting her phone on the table next to the bed, she tried to stay awake for a little while longer, but soon found herself drifting off.

JJ found out that she was right as they headed home Thursday evening. She took a seat next to Hotch on the plane. "I'm taking a personal day tomorrow, Sir. We're going to my OB to check some things out."

"Do you think there's a problem with the baby?" he asked, his brow furrowed with concern.

"I don't know. This pregnancy is so different from Henry's already. I'm trying not to be too worried. She's doing that enough for the both of us."

His face relaxed into a smile. "I never would have thought her capable of a soft side until you came by last weekend. Jack really enjoyed with day with you and Win."

"I would never have imagined her with that nickname, either, but Henry has a hard time with R's still, and it's stuck. So, unless a really pressing case comes across your desk, I'll see you Monday morning." He nodded and she pulled the thin blanket up around her shoulders, falling into a light, troubled, sleep.

She woke up freezing cold two hour later as they began their descent into Quantico. Shivering, she sat up and stretched, wrapping the blanket around her body to stave off the cold. "Let me get your bag for you, Jen." She looked up at Dave and nodded, grateful for the offer.

"Thanks, Dave." She stood and followed him off the plane and into the waiting SUV. "So, how is that girl in the daycare working out?"

"She was a bit too clingy for me. I'm trying to find another Carolyn, I think, which is the problem."

"No one can ever completely replace someone we loved and lost." JJ yawned and let her head come to rest against his shoulder. "At least you're warm."

"Do you want me to run you home?" he asked, a tinge of concern coloring his voice.

"I would say yes, but I'm taking tomorrow off. I have an appointment."

"I can have Anderson run your car home. I'd feel a lot better if you let me do this, cara."

Sighing, she nodded. "All right. Thank you." By the time they got back to the Academy, she was feeling exhausted and grateful she had taken Rossi up on his offer. Anderson met them in the garage and she handed her keys over to him before letting Rossi lead her to his Cadillac.

Her eyes must have closed the moment she buckled her belt because soon, it seemed, he was shaking her shoulder gently. "You're home now, Jen. Erin's at the door waiting for you."

She looked over at him sleepily and nodded. "Thanks again, Dave." She got out of the car and stumbled to the door. Erin opened it and took her bag and keys from Rossi's hands. "See you Monday."

He nodded and disappeared into the night, Anderson in his passenger seat. "Jennifer, let's get you upstairs." Gently, she led her up to their room and over to the bed. "Flannels tonight?"

"Yeah. I just can't seem to get warm." While Erin went over to the dresser, JJ pulled off her blouse and stepped out of her shoes. She was just unzipping her pants when Erin turned around, holding onto her pajamas. "Would you mind unhooking my bra? I just don't have the energy to reach behind me."

Erin nodded and reached around her, making short work of the clasp. JJ shrugged out of it, noticing as she did the bright flush staining Erin's cheeks. "Lift your arms and I'll help you get your shirt on, too."

JJ did so, trying not to arch into Erin as the backs of her hands brushed against her breasts. "Thank you, Erin." She nodded and helped her to stand so she could pull on her pajama pants. While she crawled into bed, Erin picked up her clothes and put them in the hamper before taking off her robe and joining JJ in the bed.

"Our appointment is at 11:30 tomorrow morning," she whispered as she settled in next to her, spooning up close. JJ smiled as Erin ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm concerned, Jennifer."

"I know you are, sweetheart. You worry enough for the both of us."

"Am I smothering you with it?" she asked anxiously.

"No, you're letting me do my job. I couldn't be this calm if you weren't taking on the burden of my worry as well." JJ turned to face Erin and cupped her face delicately. "I want to know if that burden gets to be too much for you, as well. You don't need to carry it all alone."

Erin nodded and a few silver tears spilled down her cheeks. "It's always been so easy for me to worry, honey." It was the first deliberate endearment from her lips, and JJ leaned in to kiss her cheek, tasting the salt that lingered there. Erin returned the gesture and then buried her face in JJ's hair, holding her close.

In the morning she woke up with Erin's arms still around her. Looking over her shoulder at the clock, she saw that it was just after nine. "Mama, are you and Win up yet?" Henry whispered from over by the door. Turning over, she smiled at him and then waved him over. "Am I going to daycare today?"

"No, baby. I have to go see my baby doctor this morning and then I thought we could take Miss Erin out to lunch. Does that sound like a good plan? He nodded. "Good." She felt Erin stir next to her and then sit up against the headboard, stretching a little. "Good morning, Erin."

"Good morning Jennifer, Henry." Her son grinned and crawled in between them, wrapping his arms around Erin's neck. She turned her head and kissed his cheek and JJ smiled to hear his childish giggle.

"Win, will you read to me this mowning?" She nodded and pulled her iPad off the bedside table and started to read a story to Henry. While he was occupied, JJ slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. She relished the feel of the hot water hitting her body as she showered, never wanting to get out.

When she finished, she dried off and wrapped herself up in her robe. As she rejoined the others, Erin was letting Henry read to her, helping him with the more difficult words. She smiled softly as she pulled out a warm blouse and skirt for the day. JJ went back into the bathroom to change and then sat down on the bed when she was dressed.

"All right, let me read with you for a while, Henry, so Miss Erin can get ready." He nodded and Erin handed her the iPad before getting up and pulling a skirt and blouse from the closet and disappearing into the bathroom. Henry had been reading to her for about five minutes when Erin's cellphone rang. JJ reached over to pick it up and frowned as she looked at the display.

"What wrong, Mama?"

"I don't recognize this number, honey. It's not from our country." She ruffled his hair as she answered. "Hello?"

"Is this Erin Strauss?" a heavily accented voice asked.

"No, this is her girlfriend. She's in the shower. Who is this?"

"This is Dr. Stahl with Hospital Laborverbund in Berlin. There's been an accident involving her tochter, Kacey. Could you get her, please?"

JJ felt all warmth vanish from her body at the woman's words and nodded. "Y-yes," she stammered out. "Give me a moment, please." She crawled out of bed and hurriedly went over to the bathroom. Going inside, she could hear Erin singing softly as she showered and she pulled back the curtain a little. "Erin?"

"What's wrong?" she asked as she quickly turned the water off. "Is it Henry?"

"No, it's a doctor for you. Something's happened." JJ handed over the phone and listened as Erin began to speak in rapid-fire German with the woman on the other end. Tears rolled down her cheeks and JJ felt helpless as she stood there and listened. She took down a large towel from the rack and held it out.

Erin stepped into it and JJ wrapped it around her body, tucking the end in so it would stay closed. Erin leaned against her, resting her head on JJ's shoulder. Finally, she nodded and hung up the phone. "Hand me my robe, please, Jennifer?" She did as asked and helped her into it. "I need to sit down before I collapse."

"All right, lean on me."

"Always, Jennifer." Carefully, they made their way back to the bed and Erin sat heavily on it, pulling JJ down with her. "It was a car accident," was all she managed to choke out before giving in to her sobs. JJ put her arm around Erin's waist, pulling her closer.

"Win, what wrong?" Henry asked as he snuggled up close to her, laying his head in her lap. She was crying too hard to answer him, instead running her hand through his hair, and he stared up at his mother. "Mama, kiss Win and make her feel better. That make me feel better when I'm sad. "

A smile crept over her lips as she listened to the sweet surety in her son's voice. "I'll try that, Henry." Tenderly, she cupped Erin's face with her hand and the other woman turned to look at her. Their lips met in an achingly gorgeous kiss and she felt Erin melt into her.

When they broke away from each other, Erin's sobs had lessened and she rested her forehead against JJ's. "Thank you. Kacey was in a car accident earlier today. Someone rear ended her and her stepmother. I guess I should be thankful that she only broke her arm, but I could have lost her, Jennifer."

"Why did the doctor call us?"

"Victor was more concerned with Rachel and the baby, and waved the doctor off when she asked to call me. Three months in Germany and he still hasn't bothered to learn the language."

"Yet you speak it?"

"Yes, my Oma never could get a good grasp on English, no matter how hard she tried. So she taught me her language so I could talk to her." She looked at JJ. "I know what you're doing. Thank you."

"Anything for you, my Erin." Their lips met once more in a short kiss and she smiled against Erin's mouth.

"Do you feel better now, Win?" Henry asked.

"Yes, I do, sweetheart." Erin leaned down and kissed his upturned face. "Now, how about we go and get breakfast? I think my stomach is growling a little."

"Okay! I get out the cereal for us!" Henry took off out of the room, slamming the door as he left.

"That was our first kiss." Erin wouldn't look at her as she spoke lowly.

"It was. Did you like it?"

"Yes?" It tore at JJ's heart to hear how questioningly sweet that answer came out. "I really did like it. You have really soft lips."

"So do you, Erin. Am I a keeper?" She brought Erin's face up to look at her and Erin nodded. "Good. Then you won't mind if I do this one more time." Erin's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation of the kiss and she buried her hands in JJ's hair, pulling her close.

A small whimper escaped from both their lips when they broke from this kiss. "Go down and check on Henry while I get dressed." She stood and went over to the bathroom. As the door closed, JJ caught a glimpse of her bare back as she dropped the robe and towel.

"If I didn't know better, Erin, I'd say you were doing that deliberately," she whispered as she got up and went down to the kitchen. She chuckled at the sight before her. Henry had managed to drag a chair over to the cupboard with the bowls had set the table. In each bowl was a heaping serving of Rice Krispies. "Henry, you did a good job."

"Thanks, Mama. I can't get the milk, though. It's all the way in the back."

"I'll get it out, baby. Do you want sugar with your cereal?" He nodded and she took down the sugar bowl, setting it next to her place. Erin came down and joined them a few minutes later and sat next to JJ. She was quieter than normal, which JJ took in stride, filling in the chatter she normally provided in the morning.

"We should probably leave here at 10:45 to get there on time," she said as she loaded the dishwasher.

"Sounds good to me. Henry, why don't you play while Miss Erin and I have some alone time, okay?" He nodded and took off out of the room, leaving them alone. "Shall we?" JJ held out her hand and Erin clasped it tightly, letting her lead them out to the living room.

"Jennifer, my heart is still beating too hard. Or, at least, it feels that way," she said as they sat on the sofa.

"Let me listen." JJ rested her head against Erin's chest, listening to the uneven tattoo that beat inside. Erin ran her fingers through JJ's hair, being careful to avoid pulling. "You sound normal to me. Kacey's fine, sweetheart. Did the doctor say if you could call back and talk to her?"

"I didn't even think to ask that. She was being released as soon as the plaster set. And Victor would be furious if I called them at home."

"That's it. I'm calling Garcia and seeing if she can find a cellphone number for Kacey. You need to talk to your daughter, custody order and ex-husbands be damned." JJ sat up and held out her hand. "Give me your cellphone."

"How do you know I have it?"

"I know you, Erin. You haven't let go of that thing since you hung up with the hospital." Erin sighed and dug it out of the pocket of her skirt, handing it over to JJ. From rote memory, she dialed Garcia's office number. "Penelope."

"Jayje! I thought you were out of the office today?"

"I am, PG. This is something personal, and you need to keep it extremely, extremely, confidential, all right?"

"Of course, anything you say. Is it something to do with Will? Is he bothering you once more?"

"It's not for me, but for Erin. Her ex is just as awful as Will is, if not worse, and won't let her talk to her children. I need you to find her daughter's cellphone number for us."

"Searches are my specialty, along with lists, to which her ex is now on my naughty one, by the by. Put her on speaker, I'm going to need some information from her." JJ pulled the phone from her ear and hit the speaker button. "Good morning, Erin. So, I'm assuming the phone will be in your ex-husband's name?"

"That is correct, Penelope. His name is Victor Strauss. I'm not sure if you can port numbers overseas or not."

"No, each country has its own setup on phone numbers. Where's he located now?"

"Germany. Berlin, to be exact. Or as exact as I can get."

"All right, give me a few moments." They listened to Penelope type away and Erin curled into JJ, her hand holding onto the fabric of her shirt. "And what's your daughter's name?"

"Kacey Anderson Strauss."

"All right, I think I have a number for you. If you give me until Monday, I can requisition you a US Marshal's phone. That way Sir Jackass Extraordinaire won't be able to trace the number back to you. Don't ask how, just know that I will. I'll even program her number in it for you."

Erin sighed and JJ leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Thank you so much, Penelope. You have no idea how much this means to me, to be able to hear my little girl's voice again," she finally choked out.

"I think I might, Erin. When you call her on Monday, tell her an extra I love you."

"I will, Penelope." JJ disconnected the call and Erin buried her face in her shoulder. "I don't understand," she whispered as JJ closed her arms around her.

"She never got to hear another I love you from her mother." JJ rubbed her back softly, and felt Erin relax beneath her touch. "She feels responsible for their deaths, since she had broken curfew the night the accident happened."

"Ah, I see." Erin held tighter to JJ, snuggling closer to her chest. JJ listened to the sounds of Erin's light, shaky breaths as they tried to gain control of their emotions once more.


	10. Chapter 10

"What's she doing here?" Emily hissed over at JJ. She turned and looked at Erin striding into the bullpen and up to Penelope's office. As she continued to watch, Penelope tried, very badly, to act surprised as she led the other woman into her office.

"How should I know? Do I look like Strauss's keeper?" JJ tried to look peeved, but felt like she was failing, as she knew that Erin would be getting her cellphone this morning. "However, she was smiling. That's a good sign."

"Are you kidding? She's a total Lady Macbeth. Don't let a few kind gestures blind you to who she really is." Emily say back up as the door to the tech cave opened. As they watched, Erin came out, a gentle smile on her face. Ever so slightly, Erin dipped her head, then continued on her way out the door to go to her office. "Okay, see, that is too creepy. What is going on?"

JJ just shrugged and turned back to the file she was working on. She touched her stomach absently and took a deep breath. The OB had said everything looked normal to her, that the baby was still on track and everything. Still, she had an underlying sense of unease that refused to go away, much like the morning sickness. Just as she finished her report, she saw Penelope and Hotch exit his office and she grabbed her tablet, standing at the same time as Emily.

They went up to the round room and sat down next to each other. "So, where do you think we're headed to today?"

"I'm saying close to home, Em. It just has that feel." Penelope smiled at them and nodded.

"Uh huh, you would be correct, my blonde mother goddess. I've already uploaded the specifics to your tablets, but I'll be explaining everything in detail as soon as Rossi gets his little Italian butt in here. Oh, and Jayje, the package was successfully delivered."

"Thanks, PG. That's wonderful to hear. I just hope it is beneficial to the recipient."

"I'm sure it will be." Rossi came in and took a seat next to Emily. "Okay, let's get this show on the road." JJ tried to pay attention to what her friend was saying, but found herself zoning out as her stomach cramped weirdly throughout the presentation.

"All right everyone, we'll leave as soon as you grab your go bags. It's a two hour drive out there, so we won't be coming back here until the case if finished." JJ got up and grabbed her bag from under her desk, following Emily and Reid out to the elevators. As they rode down, she pulled out her phone and texted Erin, letting her know about the case.

When they were underway, her phone buzzed and she pulled it out, and seeing it was Erin, she smiled gently and answered. "Hey. How'd it go?"

"I haven't called yet. I'm nervous. Can you believe that? She's my daughter and I'm nervous to talk to her."

"Go for it, treat it just like a Band-Aid. Ugh."

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"My stomach hurts a little. I'm sure it's nothing, since she said everything checked out. Did you need something?"

"Just the sound of your voice to give me courage. I'm sorry to have bothered you." JJ drew in a quick breath, about to reply when the line went dead.

Shoving her phone in her pocket, she buried her face in her hands, struggling not to cry. "So, I need to get some coffee for the drive," Hotch said, looking at her in the rearview mirror. "I'm going to stop at the next gas station and pick some up. Use this time to stretch your legs, we won't be stopping again until we reach our destination." He pulled into a Mobil station and JJ quickly found a private spot, away from the others.

She dialed Erin's cellphone, hoping she'd pick up. "What do you want, Jennifer?" The voice was shaky and JJ knew she was crying, and it broke her heart.

"I want to apologize. Honey, I did not mean to snap at you. This case is throwing me off and I don't feel well and then I took it out on you. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me?"

"I'm sorry, too, darling. I overreacted because I'm so frightened that Kacey won't answer because it comes up unknown number on caller id. I checked to see what she'd see. I just want to talk to my baby girl."

"I know, my dearest heart. Just try, though. Please, for me?"

"I've said it before. Anything for you, Jennifer. I'll see you in a few days."

"Of course. And if I'm back late…"

"I'll wait up for you." They both took a deep breath at the same time, and JJ smiled. "Or perhaps you'll have to wake me with a kiss."

"Sweet promises I intend to keep, one way or another. Now you've given me something to look forward to when I get home. Have a wonderful day."

"You, too, dearest." They hung up and JJ felt her heart's burden lift a little. She entered the small store with a smile on her lips and bought a bottle of water before joining the others back in the SUV.

"Are you feeling better now, Jen?" Hotch asked as he started the vehicle.

"Much. Sorry about taking so long. I'm hoping this much morning sickness means I'm having a girl this time."

"There's no proven scientific data to substantiate that the type of morning sickness one has is a direct link to the gender of the baby. Nor does how you're carrying."

"Thanks, Reid." JJ patted his shoulder and then covered her stomach, rubbing absently as the scenery passed by. Though she tried to ignore it, her stomach was still cramping. Putting a brave face on, she got out of the vehicle and followed the others into the police station. She was helping Reid set up the boards when she gasped in pain.

"JJ, what's wrong?" he asked in concern, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Nothing, I'm fine, just a passing cramp in my back." She bent to pick up the piece of paper that she'd dropped and felt a warm hand on her back. As she stood to look into Emily's eyes, she noticed the look of concern and fear there. "What?"

"Jayje, you're bleeding, down there." The world seemed to come to a stop as she tried to focus on what Emily was saying. "Somebody call an ambulance! One of our agent's has is going into preterm labor!"

"Emily, I'll go with her to the hospital. I want the rest of you to focus on the case." Hotch took over, holding her hand as he guided her over to a chair. A female officer got JJ a glass of water and they all waited a tense five minutes for the ambulance. JJ could find no words to say to her team as she clung to Hotch's hand.

"Ma'am, how far along are you?" She looked up at the paramedic and blinked a few times. "Ma'am?"

"Sorry, seventeen weeks. I'm seventeen weeks along." The man nodded and helped her to get up on the stretcher. Hotch followed them and got in the back of the ambulance, sitting at her head while the man put up a privacy screen and took off her pants. JJ rotely told him the answers he needed while Hotch held her hand.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, his eyes shining wetly.

"First, you need to call Erin and have her come to the hospital. I need her here with me. Then, you're going back and solving the case. She'll bring me home and take care of me."

"The others are going to want to see you."

"No. Focus on the case, please. Oh, and have Penelope pick Henry up today. I hope you don't mind having him with Jack for a few days."

"That will be fine, just relax, try to relax." She nodded as she clutched his hand. "So, Erin is really okay with me seeing Penelope?"

"Sort of. She wishes that the two of you had found your happiness outside of the Bureau. She worries about us more than I ever realized, Hotch. Why didn't I ever see that?"

"We chose not to see it. She had her job to do, and while she made some horrid decisions, when it mattered, she cared. I saw that when she visited me, after the funeral. And during my time spent overseas, she always checked in to see how Jack was holding up."

"Did you know she lost a baby, too?"

"You haven't lost the baby yet, Jen. There's still a chance." She tried to smile at the determination in his voice, but felt the first few tears roll down her face. Reaching up, she swiped them away. "I'll call her now." She listened to his conversation with Erin, trying to imagine what she was saying to him, what she was feeling.

"Well?"

"She's leaving Quantico now and I'm not to leave your side until she arrives. And she wanted me to tell you that Kacey answered."

"Wonderful." The ambulance pulled into the emergency room bay and she was wheeled into a private exam room. JJ found she couldn't listen to the doctors and nurses describing her miscarriage as it was happening, it was too heartbreaking.

Time passed in a blur as she went through the motions of labor. She fell into a deep sleep the moment it was over, wanting to fall off the face of the earth. She woke to a soft, warm, hand brushing her hair back from her face. "Oh, my dearest heart, I'm here now." She nuzzled her face into Erin's hand, letting her wipe the tears away from her cheeks. "The doctor wants to talk to you, honey." JJ nodded and looked up at the young man.

"Ms. Jareau, I wish I had better news for you. By the time you came in, your labor had progressed too far to stop it. At some point, the umbilical cord had become wrapped around her neck, and, well, there was nothing we could do. I'm so sorry for your loss." He patted her shoulder gently. "I'd like to keep you here overnight, to make sure there are no complications. And you'll need to see your doctor to have your blood levels checked out in a week's time."

JJ nodded and he left the room, shutting the door behind him. "Can you stay the night?" she asked softly, not looking at Erin.

"Yes. And tomorrow. Penelope will stay with you the day after…"

"I don't want her, I want you." JJ finally turned to meet her eye as she interrupted. "I need you."

"Oh, Jennifer." Erin carefully sat on the bed and JJ scooted close to her, wrapping her arms around Erin's waist. "It's all right to cry, sweetheart. You just lost someone very precious to you." She nodded and began to sob, burying her head in Erin's chest. All she seemed able to focus on was the feel of Erin's hand on her back.

"Do you think I should have a funeral for her? I mean, if I don't do something, it will be like she never even existed." She felt so lost and adrift as she clung to Erin.

"I will help you do whatever you want to do." Erin kissed the top of her head and JJ sighed, feeling herself drop off to sleep under the comforting touches of her lover.

When she woke up sometime later, Erin was stretched out next to her, watching her. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A few hours. They'll be by with food at five. I tried to pick something you'd like, but the selection wasn't that large. They even let me get something, too. Penelope said she'll call about seven and we can tell Henry a bedtime story." JJ kissed Erin's cheek softly and she smiled at her, bringing her forehead to rest against JJ's.

"Thank you, Erin. I can't believe you've taken care of me so well without complaint. What did I ever do to deserve you in my life?"

"I'm the one who should ask you that question." She sat up and climbed off the bed.

"Where are you going?" JJ hated the panic in her voice, but didn't want Erin to leave her.

"I have to use the bathroom, my dear. I was waiting for you wake up, I didn't want you to be alone." Erin leaned over and kissed her cheek before going over to the bathroom. JJ found herself smiling a little at Erin's thoughtfulness.

The door opened and a nurse came in. "Hello, Ms. Jareau. I wanted to do this earlier, but you and your girlfriend were sleeping. Has she gone home?"

"No, she's in the bathroom. What can I do for you?"

The woman sat in the chair next to her bed and smiled slightly. "There are certain protocol we have to follow after the miscarriage of a baby. I don't know if anyone told you, but she did take a few breaths, but she was just so tiny." The woman tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "We'll need you to give her a name for the birth certificate. Had you thought about that yet?"

"No, we didn't even know until today that she was a girl." JJ felt her eyes well up and then Erin was at her side, holding onto her hand. "I have to name her, Win."

"I heard, precious. Do you have any idea what a good name for her would be?" Erin took a seat next to her, running her fingers through JJ's hair. She shook her head and the nurse smiled sadly. "Would you mind leaving the paperwork with us, please?"

"Certainly, ladies. They'll be by in about ninety minutes with dinner." She backed out of the room and JJ curled into Erin once more.

"Do you think Erin Penelope would look nice on the certificate?" she murmured as she curled her hand in the fabric of Erin's blouse.

"Lovely, Jennifer, I think it sounds absolutely lovely." Erin picked up the paper and wrote down the name with a flourish. "I think I heard your phone ring while you were sleeping. Do you want me to go grab it?"

"I suppose so." She let Erin get out of bed and cross the short distance between her and the closet in the room. "Who was the call from?"

Erin touched the round button and looked at the now lit screen. "It was Emily. You should probably call her back. I imagine that they're quite worried about you. Aaron told me that you wouldn't let them come visit you here."

"I don't want to return the call, Erin. I can't talk to them right now. I never expected this to be so damn raw."

"At least let me call Aaron to give the team a heads up." JJ nodded and Erin got settled on the bed once more. JJ nestled her head against Erin's heart, listening to the beating of her heart and the rumbling of her voice as she spoke. "Yes Aaron, I'm just calling to update you all. She doesn't want to talk to the others just yet. I hope you understand, and can make them understand. Some things have to be experienced solitarily. We'll be heading home in the morning, God willing. That would be really lovely, there's a key to her house in my desk. Just have Penelope ask Erika for access." She hung up and set the phone aside.

"What's Penelope going to do tonight?"

"She'll be taking care of you." JJ looked up at Erin and noticed the sad smile on her lips. "I wonder if one day we'll be friends as well. You know, she's been so kind to me lately. She even came and tuned up my computer."

"PG's good at doing things like that. And I think you'd be wonderful friends." She puckered her lips and Erin leaned down to kiss her quickly. "Will the ache ever go away?"

"I wish I could say that it did. You learn to live with it, though. Sometimes, things remind me of what could have been and then my heart aches a little harder for a time." They fell silent and JJ let herself be lulled into a sort of waking sleep by Erin's fingers running over her arm.

The orderly came by right on time and set up their meals on the rolling table. "Breakfast will be here around seven, and then Dr. Hardy will check in on you for release at eight. Should either of you need anything, one of the nurses on duty should be able to get it for you." He left the room and they dug into the food. JJ could see Erin's hand in the choices before them, even if the food wasn't the same quality she was used to.

"I hadn't expected to be this hungry." JJ tried not to feel guilty for wanting to eat, but something tugged at her heart.

"Please, do not beat yourself up over your body's needs. I could not bear to see you waste away." She looked at Erin, taking in the tender concern in her eyes. Slowly, she nodded and finished the meal. "Just please, promise you'll stay with me. No matter how bad the depression gets, or how much you feel like you want to let go, please…"

"Yes, I'll turn to you. You've made it to the other side and can help me get there as well." She pushed the tray away from them and then snuggled close to Erin once more. "Would you mind terribly if we spent the entire day on the couch tomorrow? I just don't think I'll be up to anything more than watching movies."

"I'll be more than okay with that." She kissed her forehead and then pulled out her iPad from her purse. "Is there anything you want to do or read tonight before Penelope calls?"

JJ thought for a moment. "This is going to sound so odd, but I want to watch an episode of The X-Files. There's this one where a zookeeper raises a gorilla. It's my favorite of the early episodes."

"I remember that one. Let me stream it for us." They both held the tablet and JJ watched the episode with her head on Erin's chest.

"You know, honey, that sort of looks like you," she whispered as the guest of the week appeared on screen.

"Really? I don't see the resemblance."

"Well, her hair is a little darker than yours. But you have the same beautiful smile." JJ turned her head up and kissed her partner's cheek and then went back to watching the episode. At the end of it, Erin played the next and they made it halfway through before JJ's phone rang. "That must be Penelope."

Erin handed her the phone and she put it on speaker as she answered. "Hey Jayje, Erin. How are you feeling, honey?"

JJ could tell Penelope was trying to keep from crying and she grabbed hold of Erin's hand. "I'm tired, and I hurt. All of the work, none of the payoff, you know?"

"Honey, don't do that to yourself," Erin murmured as she hugged JJ close to her.

"She's right, JJ. Self-deprecation only works to push the pain away for a short time. We're here to help you, and if that means letting us see the warts and wrinkles of your grief, we'll stand beside you. Don't bury it like I did. Please?"

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Penny. I'll try to be forthcoming." She looked up at Erin and saw she was crying as well. "Oh, Erin, I'm sorry. Here, let me." JJ wiped her tears away with her thumb and Erin nuzzled into the hand, kissing the palm.

"So, when I told Jack that Henry would be getting read a bedtime story by you two, he wanted to listen in. Do you have any idea what story you're going to read?"

Erin answered before JJ could speak. "Faithful John. It's a bit gruesome at the end, but it was one of my favorite fairy tales growing up." She called up an app in her iPad and flipped to the story. Her strong voice began the story once they were on Facetime with Henry and Jack. JJ alternated paragraphs with Erin until the story was finished. "Good night, Henry. I love you."

"I love you, too, Win. Give Mama an extra kiss for me tonight,'kay?"

"Of course I will, precious." JJ smiled at Erin then looked back at her son.

"Good night, sleep tight, my sweet prince. I love you so much."

"Love you, Mama." He blew them a kiss and then disconnected the call. JJ set the phone on top of the iPad and curled into Erin, wrapping her arm around her waist.

"I'm so exhausted, Erin. Will you hold me until I fall asleep?"

"Yes, Jennifer." She felt Erin set their gadgets to the side and then stretch out against her body. JJ molded herself to Erin, listening to her begin to hum lowly.

"Will you sing to me for a little bit? I need the soothing sound of you right now, honey." Erin nodded and then kissed her forehead softly. "One more for Henry," she reminded her gently, lifting her lips to Erin.

"One more for Henry." The kiss was delicate and sweet and JJ felt her eyes well up as she broke the kiss. Snuggling her face into Erin's hair, she listened to her lover's rich mezzo-soprano voice sing quietly of love and friendship. Her eyelids drooped heavily, though she fought to stay awake and listen to her. "Sleep, sweetheart. Your body and soul will begin to heal with rest."

"Yes, Erin." She let her eyes close and Erin resumed her singing. "I think I'm falling for you," she whispered, wondering if Erin would respond, or if she'd even heard.

"I think the same thing, Jennifer," were the last words she heard before sleep claimed her tired body once more.


	11. Chapter 11

"Thank you for letting me come spend the day with you, Erin. I'm not ready to face them for an entire day. Their pity is a burden on me," JJ said as they stepped into the elevator together that Thursday.

"I just want you to feel comfortable, Jennifer. You have been through a very traumatic event and whatever you need to do, I'm fine with. Agent Hotchner will be up at ten to come get you for the briefing." Erin let her hand brush against JJ's, the tiny, intimate gesture calming her heart somewhat.

They stepped out and JJ followed Erin to her office. Erika was just getting settled behind her desk and looked up at them as they entered. "Oh, good morning, Chief Strauss, Agent Jareau. Ms. Garcia dropped your key ring off already, and I put it with the files you need to go over this morning. AD Miller left a message; I guess there's an emergency budget meeting this afternoon at 1:30. They're going out to lunch, so I cancelled your lunch order for today."

"Thank you, Erika." They went inside the inner office and JJ handed Erin her coat, letting her hang them on the tree. She sat heavily on the sofa and stared at the wall of shelves, taking in the pictures of Erin's children. Then her eye was caught by a picture of her and Henry.

"Where did you get the picture of us?" she asked as Erin sat next to her.

"I asked Penelope for it two weeks ago. I realized I had nothing of you in here, and wanted you and Henry close to me."

"Aren't you worried about someone seeing it when they come in to see you?"

"Erika lets me know who's here before sending them in. Then I just move the picture to my desk and can look at you while I'm talking to them." Erin covered JJ's hand with her own. "Rick will keep me occupied for hours this afternoon. I most likely won't be back until close to four."

"Budget meetings last that long?" she asked, threading her fingers through Erin's. She nodded and JJ rested her head on her shoulder. "I think that sucks."

"Budgets keep your team together. Now that you're up to a full complement of seven once more, I have to fight tooth and nail for every dollar I can get." She sighed and squeezed JJ's hand and then stood up, going over to her desk and picking up a small stack of files. Then she rejoined JJ on the sofa. "I love paperwork," she muttered, opening the first file.

"You and me both." JJ pulled out her iPad and checked her email, not seeing anything new. Setting it aside, she pulled her legs up onto the sofa and hugged a pillow tightly to her chest.

"You don't have to go down there today, Jennifer. I will approve any amount of personal time you need."

"If I'm not here, I'm alone with my thoughts. Now I know why Rossi came back so soon after Carolyn died. I have to keep moving, to keep pressing on. If I stop and think for too long, I might be swallowed by grief."

Erin put down the file she was working on and turned to look at her over her reading glasses. "Jennifer, oh sweetheart, you are not ready to be here if you are just going to bury yourself in work. Pushing the grief down will not work, not unless you want to become like me."

"But you care for me, and I care for you. You won't let anything bad happen to me."

"Which is why you're not going back to work until next Monday at the earliest. I don't care if you camp out in here for the next eight work days, I'll welcome the company, I just don't want you going back while you are so fragile." Erin cupped her face and JJ turned to kiss the palm of her hand. "Please, Jennifer?"

JJ nodded and turned to face Erin. "I don't understand how you can care for me so. I never expected this from you in my wildest dreams. All I wanted was a friend, someone to talk about awful exes with." She leaned in to kiss Erin when the speaker phone buzzed.

"Chief Strauss, Agent Hotchner is here to see you and Agent Jareau. Should I send him in?"

"One moment, please, Erika." Erin closed the distance between their faces and softly kissed her lips. Then she stood and went over to her desk. "All right, we're ready for him."

"Yes, Ma'am." The door opened and Hotch stepped in, concern furrowing his brow. After shutting the door, he took a seat next to her, adjusting his tie as he cleared his throat.

"Jen, I don't think you're ready to come back to work. You are still grieving the loss of your child, and while we'd support you one hundred percent, I just feel that it would be prudent for you to stay out for a little longer. Especially this new case Penny and I are going to be briefing."

"You, too, Hotch?" She smiled gently at his shock before cocking her head towards Erin. "We were just talking about that very same thing. I'm not going to come back until the next Monday."

His shoulders slumped with relief and he looked to Erin, who got up and joined them. "You know, you don't have to hide from me."

"I don't know what you mean, Aaron," she said softly, running her hand over her hair as JJ shook her head.

"Your files are all over here, Erin." He chuckled slightly as she took a seat on the other side of JJ. "Penelope would have wrung my neck if I showed up with you in tow. We just want you to get better."

She nodded and leaned against Erin, who unconsciously wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Let PG know I'm going to be here if she wants to come up and see me." She looked up at Erin, who just smiled slightly. Hotch got up and left them alone, and once the door was closed, Erin pulled away from her. "What is it, Erin?"

"I'm not sure I can handle my office being a general meeting area. I like quiet when I work, and I know how much Penelope loves to talk." She sighed, her head tucked into her chest as she shut JJ out.

JJ would have none of that, though, touching Erin's shoulder lightly. "Then she'll only come up when you're in meetings. I won't disturb your peace. I understand how precious that is." Still, Erin didn't look at her and she felt her heart sink a little. "I don't know why you're upset with me."

That seemed to get Erin's attention and she looked into JJ's eyes, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself. Of course you want to be with your friends at a time like this. And here I am, being my typical, selfish bitch self. And you just accept it. God, Victor was right. I am a monster." Her voice broke on the last word and she began to sob, tearing her eyes away from JJ to stare at her tightly clasped hands.

The last words were all it took for JJ to break down was well. "Oh, my sweet Erin, Victor is such a dick. You are not a monster, my precious, precious, heart." She scooted closer to Erin and pulled her into a tight hug. She tried to pull away from the embrace, but JJ would not let her go, holding her all the more tightly. Turning her head, she kissed Erin's temple and felt the woman finally collapse into her.

"Jennifer, would you please kiss me?" Erin turned her head, her eyes closed as if anticipating rejection. JJ leaned forward and pressed her lips softly to Erin's, exploring the other woman's willingness to continue the sweet buss. Erin brought her arms up around JJ's neck, holding on as if she would lose her if she let go.

They had to come up for air, though, and Erin set her head on JJ's shoulder. "Have you grieved yet for little Erin?"

"She wasn't my child, Jennifer. I cannot steal that from you."

"She would have been your child, Erin. We would have raised her together as our daughter. And now you've lost two children. I'm so sorry, my dearest heart." She kissed Erin's lips once more, letting it deepen as she gently pushed her back on the sofa to cover Erin's body with her own. She felt Erin begin to respond to her touches, arching up to come in closer contact with JJ's body.

Erin nipped at her lip and JJ released the kiss, both women breathing heavily. "I can't do this, not here, not now." Awkwardly, she pushed JJ off of her and stood up, a bright blush staining her fair skin. "This doesn't feel like grieving."

"No, it's the communing of two hurt souls trying to find a safe harbor from the cruel world." JJ stood and reached out to caress Erin's face, only to watch the older woman retreat back into her shell.

"There are some things I am not ready for, Jennifer. Physical intimacy is one of them. I, I…"

"You are perfectly fine to feel that way and I am perfectly content to wait." Erin smiled and stepped forward, closing her eyes. JJ took the invitation for what it was worth and ran her thumbs along her cheekbones, flicking away the tears that still remained. "One more kiss until we go home?" Erin bobbed her head twice and JJ gave her a quick kiss.

As Erin opened her eyes to look at JJ, a soft smile spread across her lips. "I told you, I'm a nun." The smile wavered a little as she looked at the pin JJ wore on her chest. "It, it actually hurt most of the time. I know you don't have that equipment, but I'm a little afraid of being together with anyone."

She sat down and picked up her file, starting to go through it once more. JJ found that all she could do was sink down next to her, no words coming to mind to ease Erin's heart. She fervently wished she could take the jet to Germany and kick Victor's ass. From the corner of her eye, she watched Erin's left hand fall off her lap and creep over to her lap. JJ clasped the hand and felt her partner squeeze tightly.

Silence filled the room as Erin worked and JJ ran her thumb absently over the back of Erin's hand. At noon, Erika buzzed in on them once more. "Excuse me, Chief Strauss, but Ms. Garcia is here. Should I send her in?"

"Yes, please, Erika." Erin didn't move from her spot, only setting aside the file she was working on. They looked towards the door and JJ smiled up at her from the sofa.

"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt, but would you guys like to go to lunch with me?"

"Would that I could, Penelope. I have a late lunch meeting with the AD for our department. But I'm sure Jennifer would love to go with you." She released JJ's hand, and they both stood. "Did Aaron give you a curfew?"

"Yeah, two hours. How did you know?"

"I know him. Take your time, please. She needs to be with her friends right now." Turning to JJ, she touched her shoulder softly. "Like I said, I won't be back here until four, at least. But we could cut out after that and take Henry someplace fun for supper."

"Sounds like a wonderful plan." Knowing Penelope was watching them, and yet not really caring, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Erin's waist, brushing her lips against her cheek.

"Don't be a tease," Erin murmured in her ear before kissing her lips. JJ felt herself drawn into the embrace and whimpered slightly when she was let go. "That's how you give your friends a show." In the background, Penelope giggled and JJ felt her cheeks turn red.

"Okay, you guys are seriously kawaii." In tandem, they looked at her and she just grinned. "We'll see you later, Erin." Penelope took hold of JJ's hand and tugged her out of the office.

"Where are you taking me?" JJ asked once they were in the elevator.

"Back to my apartment. I'm going to try out a new recipe Rossi gave me, and I want us to eat it before I try it out on Jack and Aaron."

"Oh, so I'm a guinea pig now?" she asked, smiling at her friend, and Penelope nodded unapologetically. "At least I know I'll get a good meal tonight." Penelope just stuck out her tongue as JJ laughed a little.

They walked to her car and JJ got in the passenger seat. As she buckled her belt, her eyes were drawn to her ring. "What is it, Jayje?"

"Could we stop at a jewelry store before we go to the apartment? I have to get something for her." She looked up at her friend, showing her the ring sadly. "This is the second child she's lost."

"That's right, she was pregnant around the same time that Haley was. I never knew she lost that baby, though."

"I don't think anyone did. She kept it to herself, especially since Victor treated her so badly for 'failing him'."

"OMG, he told her that?" JJ nodded. "Are you sure I can't destroy him along with Will? They so deserve it."

"I know, but that makes us stoop to their level." Penelope nodded slightly and continued to drive until they reached Knachbor Jewelry. "So, I need something pretty, something that suits her."

"Do you have anything in mind?" Penelope asked as they looked into the glass cabinets.

"Emeralds. Erin Penelope would have been a May baby." JJ touched her stomach, quick tears pricking her eyes. The clerk overheard them and smiled as she came over, showing them the case of emerald jewelry. "Oh, that heart pendant there, with the diamonds and emeralds. That will be perfect for her, right?"

"I think she'll love it, Jayje."

The clerk rang her up and she slipped the box inside her purse. As they drove on to Penelope's apartment, they talked about how they were doing in their respective relationships. It was a wonderful three hours spent together, but JJ found herself anxious to get back to the Academy, back to Erin.

"JJ, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Erin, too. Let her know that, okay?" She nodded and stepped into Penelope's open arms, returning the tight hug. Together, they rode up to the BAU and she continued on to Erin's office while Penelope stepped into the bullpen.

Erika looked up at her with a smile. "She's not back yet, Agent Jareau. Feel free to wait for her in the office, if you'd like."

"Thanks, Erika. You can call me JJ if you like. I have the feeling we're going to be seeing a lot of each other."

"Okay. Oh, and I'm so glad you're with her. You make her happy and she needs some happiness in her life after Victor."

"We both need some happiness in our lives, Erika." She slipped inside Erin's office and sat behind her desk, looking at the pictures there. Any traces of Victor were no longer there, replaced by pictures of her children and Henry. The number of pictures she had of her son was a sweet reminder of how entwined their lives had become.

"Did you have a good lunch?" She looked up at Erin, a soft smile spreading across her lips.

"Yeah, it was really relaxing. So, where did you want to go for supper?" She stood and went over to Erin, slipping an arm around her waist. Erin copied the move, bringing JJ closer to her.

"Pizza Express? I know my kids enjoyed being taken there when they were younger." JJ nodded and they made their way over to the sofa. "So, what did you talk about?"

"You, my lovely. She's curious about why I'm with you. I told her that you make me feel safe and cared for, and she took it at that." JJ stroked her shoulder and Erin leaned into the gentle touch.

"Is there another reason you're with me, Jennifer?" The apprehensiveness in her voice tugged at JJ's heart and she tightened her hand around her shoulder.

"A veritable multitude of them, Erin. You're sweet, generous, gentle with my son and me, lovely. Do I need to go on? Because that might take me a few hours."

A smile tugged at Erin's lips and JJ kissed her cheek softly. "I don't deserve you, Jennifer."

"Yes, you do. We were meant to be together at this point in our lives. At least, I believe that to be true." Erin nodded and JJ felt her snuggle in close. "Do you have anything you need to work on now?"

"There's always work, Jennifer. But I'll just finish up a few more files before we head out." She picked up the first file on her pile and opened it. "I did get good news today, though."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. The BAU budget is going to be left alone for the next fiscal quarter. Your team has done exceptional work these last few months and they've decided to be magnanimous as a result." She didn't look up from the file, but JJ knew she was smiling a little. After she'd slogged through four more files, she set everything aside and stood. "Are you ready to head out?"

JJ nodded and joined her. "I'll get Henry from daycare and then I'll be ready."

"All right, let me give these files to Erika so she can file them away." Erin picked up the small stack and went out of the office. JJ followed after her and went down to the daycare center.

"I'm here for Henry," she told the attendant, who nodded and went over to her son.

"Mama, you're early!" He ran up to the half-door and lifted his arms. JJ bent down and picked him up, wincing slightly. Maybe she wasn't ready to do any heavy lifting after all.

"Jennifer, what are you doing? You know you aren't supposed to be lifting anything." Erin appeared out of nowhere and held out her arms. Henry went right to her, wrapping his arms around her neck. "I'll take him out to the car." Both ignored the look from the attendant and moved off.

"You know, if you keep acting like that, the entire Bureau will know what's happening between us."

"She can be discreet, Jennifer. We had a heart to heart a few weeks ago when she was nosing around in our business."

"And you made it clear to her that if she didn't keep her mouth shut, she didn't have a job?"

"Something like that, yes." Erin kissed Henry's cheek and carried him the rest of the way to the car. While JJ got in, Erin helped Henry into his car seat. "Now, we're off to Pizza Express."

Having never been to the place, JJ found herself slightly overwhelmed by the amount of noise from all the children running around. Henry, though, seemed to drink it all in, eagerly playing all the games he could, getting more tokens from Erin when he ran out.

By the time they were home, JJ had a horrendous headache and wanted nothing more than to curl up in Erin's arms as they sat on the couch in front of the fireplace. She sent Henry up to his room and then made her way into the living room. Erin was starting a fire and JJ sighed in relief. "Are you psychic, Erin?"

"No, I just know how overwhelming that place can be." JJ sank onto the couch and Erin sat next to her. JJ buried her face in Erin's hair and felt her lover's fingers run through her own hair.

"I got you something today while I was at lunch," she said lowly, reaching for her purse. Erin handed it to her and she pulled out the thin box. Handing it to Erin, she sat back to watch her face.

"What's this?" she asked as she held onto the box. JJ just looked at the box pointedly and Erin opened it. "Jennifer, this is so beautiful."

"I wanted you to have something physical to remind you of our child. Here, let me put it on you." Erin took the necklace out of the box and handed it to JJ. Brushing aside her hair, JJ clasped the necklace around her neck. Unable to stop herself, she leaned forward and kissed the crook where neck and shoulder met. Erin arched back slightly and JJ pressed forward a little, bringing her hands down to cup Erin's heavy breasts. A soft mewling sound burst from Erin's lips and JJ chuckled slightly.

"Oh, now that feels wonderful." A soft hand covered one of JJ's, holding it there at her chest. "J-Jennifer, please, oh, I don't know. Oh." She squirmed slightly under the touches and JJ kept kissing at her neck. Her hand tightened around Erin's breast and the woman stiffened slightly before contorting her body so that she faced JJ. "Enough, please." She kissed JJ passionately and they fell back onto the sofa, JJ's arms wrapping around her waist.

Erin nipped sharply at her lip when JJ let her hands rove down to her shapely ass. Taking the hint, JJ returned her hands to her waist, only to feel one of Erin's cup her breast almost hesitantly. "It feels better when you touch the bare flesh beneath," she said breathlessly.

"It probably does, but this is as far as I want to go tonight. Okay?" JJ nodded against her shoulder only to gasp in pleasure as Erin's thumb brushed against her erect nipple. "You are ever so good at that, my Erin." She went to remove the hand when JJ covered it with her own. "Are you going to stay the night?"

"Do you want me to?" JJ nodded. "All right, then, I will. But no hanky-panky in the night." JJ smiled and cuddled in close to Erin, a happy sigh escaping her lips. Erin just shook her head and then relaxed against JJ, her eyes fluttering closed under the touch of JJ's fingers running through her hair.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been three weeks since she had lost little Erin. They had successfully closed the current case and were on their way home and all she could think of was how much she missed her baby. It had been rough being away from Henry and Erin, even with Hotch letting her call them whenever she felt overwhelmed.

"Jen." She looked up at Dave and smiled slightly. "How's your heart?"

"Heavy. I assumed this would be easier to do, to just jump back into my life."

"Emily mentioned you cried yourself to sleep both nights we were out here. Didn't you call home?" He patted her knee gently and she felt her eyes burn with tears.

"Yes, as much as I could. But then Henry would act up or she'd start crying, too, and I wasn't there to comfort them."

"The first case back is always the hardest. Then you figure out where to put the bandage so the bleeding isn't too noticeable. After that, a scab forms, and if you don't pick at it, it becomes a scar." He looked away from her. "I speak from experience."

JJ leaned against him, hearing the heartbreak in his voice. "We make quite the trio of sorrow."

"It's a club I wish you never had to join, Jen." He closed his hand around hers and she felt her eyelids grow heavy as she gave in to the siren's call of sleep. When she woke up, the jet was landing and she stretched, letting the blanket fall around her waist. The others were quietly talking amongst themselves and she smiled at them.

She rode back to the Academy with Reid and Morgan and went straight to her car. "I'll see you tomorrow, guys." She waved to them as she made her way over to her car. JJ had just gotten in and turned the car on when the radio began to play Adele's 'Someone Like You'. Once more, hot tears tracked down her cheeks and she drove home as quickly as she could.

She could hear the television on in the living room as she entered her home and she went in there. Henry was curled up in Erin's lap and they were both fast asleep. Wiping her cheeks free of tears, she turned the tv off and spun around to look at her family. Henry stirred a little and she picked him up, draping him over her shoulder.

Slowly, she climbed the stairs and put Henry to bed. Pulling the covers up around his neck, she bent and kissed him, so very glad to be home at last. Flipping his nightlight on, JJ turned off the overhead lamp and made her way back downstairs. Erin was still sound asleep, so she knelt before her and gently stroked Erin's face.

Her eyes fluttered open beneath the soft touch and she smiled at JJ. "You're home, Jennifer." She lifted her lips for a kiss and JJ obliged her. "We tried to stay up for you, I guess time just got away from us." She sat up and stretched and then held her hand out to JJ. "I take it you put Henry to bed already."

"Yes," JJ replied as she helped Erin to her feet. "Shall we head up ourselves?" Erin nodded and held JJ's hand as together they climbed the stairs. Erin sat on the bed while JJ peeled off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor. When she unclasped her bra, Erin gasped slightly and turned her head a little, her cheeks flushing.

"I'm sorry, you're lovely, so lovely…" She bit her lip and then turned her face up to stare into JJ's eyes.

"It's okay, honey."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't be so embarrassed by a nude body. Please come here." JJ nodded and stepped over to the bed. Slowly, Erin reached forward and cupped JJ's breasts, thumbing the nipples to erect peaks. JJ felt her knees weaken and she staggered a little into the soft caresses.

Just as suddenly as they'd begun, the touches stopped and JJ knew Erin had reached her limit. And then, she leaned forward and delicately kissed her breasts before resting her head on JJ's stomach. She could feel wet tears on her skin and she pushed Erin back on the bed, covering her body with her own. "Oh, honey, why are you crying?"

"I don't know, Jennifer." Slowly JJ began to pull up her nightshirt, wondering if Erin would let her continue. Soon, the shirt was off and she molded her body to Erin's. "I, I hope I'm pleasing to you. I'm so much older than you…"

"What? Twelve, fourteen years? That's nothing. And you please me very much. Do you mind sleeping like this tonight?" Erin shook her head, and then snuggled back into JJ, pulling her arm around her waist. "Thank you."

"For what?" Erin sounded genuinely puzzled and JJ kissed her shoulder softly.

"For trusting me so." All she heard in reply was a contented sigh and she pulled up the covers around them. "I had a rough time with this case, Erin."

"I know. I wish you'd called me more. I was waiting to listen to you. Did anyone on the team talk with you?"

"Rossi did. He said we're members of the same club now." Erin turned in her arms and reached up to touch her face.

"He's right, unfortunately. I wish I could have spared you this sorrow. I should have had Aaron ground you."

JJ saw the pain in her lover's eyes and leaned in to kiss her. "Honey, do not place the blame for this on yourself. We had no way of knowing what would happen, especially after getting the clean bill of health from my OB." Erin nodded and JJ let her hands slip down to rest on her cotton covered ass. The tension she expected to encounter from her never appeared, instead Erin scooted closer, their flesh touching from shoulder to thigh.

"I'm so cold, Jennifer," she whispered as she rested her cheek on her shoulder.

"You feel so warm against me," she replied, rubbing her back softly.

"My heart, Jennifer. I feel so much, and yet it's stuck beneath this mile thick layer of ice. I want so much…" She brought once of JJ's hands up to rest over her heart. "Would you hold me close tonight?"

"Always, Erin." JJ stole a quick kiss before resting her head close to her lover's. As her breathing relaxed and evened out, JJ began to sing lowly, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," managing to fall asleep herself by the time she'd mouthed the last syllable.

The alarm woke her early the next morning and her eyes met Erin's as she reached across to turn off the sharp buzzing. "Good morning, Jennifer. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in days. Would, would you mind staying with me for the next few weeks? I want you close to me, at least until I'm ready to stand on my own once more. You do make me so happy."

Erin reached out and touched JJ's face. "And you make me happy. Yes, I'll stay for a little while, until you feel ready to move on." JJ noticed the small flash of hurt that passed over her face, and leaned in to kiss Erin.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

"Nothing, really. I think I forgot to build my foundation is all." JJ knew she was talking about something they'd discussed before and racked her brain to remember that particular conversation. "But we have to get moving now. Don't want to be late to work." Erin climbed out of bed, going over to the closet and pulling out a crisp navy suit.

JJ got up and pulled out an outfit of her own, setting it on the bed next to Erin's. "Do you want me to grab your bra?"

"Yes, please. And fresh panties." JJ opened their lingerie drawer and took out the undergarments requested.

"So, I haven't asked before, but when is your birthday? I want to honor you on your day when it comes." Erin looked over at her as she hooked her bra. "Don't look so surprised, you're my partner, my other half. Why would I not want to treat you well?"

Erin's shoulders relaxed and she smiled a little. Her face was dreamy and full of hope and JJ smiled in return. "Victor hated my birthday, since he had to spend so much on my birthday jewelry. I was born April seventeenth."

"Ah, a diamond baby." JJ pulled on her blouse and began to button it.

"Or sapphire. I wish Victor would have taken the hint and bought me some of those gemstones. Diamonds are so cold and impersonal, and every time he gave me another pair of earrings or a bracelet, it felt like he was turning the knife just a little more." She zipped her skirt and sat down on the bed. "I just wanted something I'd love, something that proved he cared for me, at least a tiny bit." She fingered the heart pendant absently as she stared at JJ.

"Erin, if he never saw the loveliness of your smile, or the passion that lurks beneath the placid surface you project, he was blind." JJ took a seat next to her and Erin leaned against her, letting JJ run her fingers through her hair. "If he could only have seen what I do, then he would have realized what a treasure he was giving up."

Erin giggled slightly and stood up. "No one has ever described me like that before."

"Maybe they should have. Do you want me to make breakfast this morning?" Erin shook her head and JJ got up to go over to the dresser, picking up her brush and running it through her hair. Erin joined her and they quickly did their makeup. "I'll be right down with Henry." She nodded and went downstairs while JJ went across the hall, turning Henry's light on.

He sat up and stretched, smiling at her. "Mama! Is it morning already?" She nodded and pulled out clothes for him.

"Run to the bathroom, Hen, and then get dressed. Miss Erin's making breakfast for us. Would you be okay with her staying with us for a little while? Mama really needs her friend close by," she said as she followed him to the bathroom.

"Yeah, I like having Win here. She seems sad sometimes, and I just want her to be happy." Henry got dressed quickly and hugged her tightly. "Are you and Win like you and Daddy used to be?"

JJ had forgotten just how sharp her son was and looked at him steadily. "Would it bother you if we were?"

"I suppose not. May I see Daddy sometime soon?"

She sighed and ruffled his hair. "I wish you could, baby. But he made a few bad choices and he has to pay for them. In a few months, we'll see." Leaning down, she kissed his head and they went down to the kitchen. Erin had the waffle maker out and was humming under her breath. Recognizing the song, JJ joined in, only to realize why Erin was sad this morning.

Turning, Erin smiled at them both, but it never quite reached her eyes. "Good morning, Henry. Would you get the maple syrup?" He nodded and opened the fridge while she dished up the food. After setting the plate on the table, JJ caught her round the waist and pulled her close. "Jennifer?"

"Our foundation is this house, my son, our grief, and your strength. The castle is our destination, not our dream. And even when I'm strong enough to stand on my own, I'm going to want you beside me."

Erin turned to look at her, true joy evident in her eyes. Nodding, she leaned forward and kissed her, hard. "You remembered," she murmured against her lips, and was JJ's turn to nod. "So, we should eat and get going. It's getting late." JJ kissed her once more and then took a seat at the table. As they ate, Henry grinned at them.

"Win, are you happy this morning?"

"As much as I can be, Henry. You and your mother are filling the void in my heart left from my children being gone. And your aunt Penelope has given me a way to talk to my Kacey." She smiled at him and finished eating before getting up and putting away the dishes from earlier. JJ helped her when she'd finished and then they all went out to the garage. After dropping Henry off at the daycare center, they went up to Erin's office.

"Good morning, ladies," Erika said brightly as they came in. "I started coffee already, it should be brewed in the next five minutes or so. You had two phone calls from your ex-husband. I took a message each time, but he wasn't exactly making sense. He said something about Kacey hitting Rachel. I don't know about that, but I wanted to throttle him through the phone by the time he was finished talking. It's about 3:30 in Berlin right now, just so you know."

Erin nodded and squared her shoulders, going through her office door. "I'm going to call him on speaker so that I keep myself in check as I am so very furious at the moment."

"You have every right to be, honey." JJ sat on the edge of her desk and watched her dial his number. It rang twice before he picked up and she finally heard his voice.

"Finally, Erin. What took you so long? Usually you're in the office before now. Or did you finally find someone who could stand being with your frigid self? Does he enjoy sticking it in a freezer?"

JJ fought to keep herself calm, knowing it would do no good to fly off the handle. Instead, she held out her hand and Erin clasped it tightly. "No, Victor. This is my usual starting time. The only reason I would leave earlier when I was still with you was to get away from you. What did you need?"

"Your daughter is turning violent. Rachel went to wake her up last night for supper and she hit her across the face. I won't stand for it, Erin, and if I have to, I will put her in boarding school."

"And this is my problem how? You won't let me speak to the children. Maybe I could talk to Kacey?"

"No. They're better off without you. I just wanted you to know the consequences of your daughter's actions that she learned from you."

"Enjoy your four years with her. Once she's eighteen, she's free to come home." Erin was close to tears by this point and JJ slid off the desk and knelt before Erin, resting her head in her lover's lap. Erin ran her fingers through JJ's hair as she struggled to keep her composure.

"Believe what you will, Erin. You'll never see her again." He hung up and she gave in to her tears, bending over JJ as her sobs shook her body.

"Shh, Erin, you're okay. He's over there, unfortunately safe from me and Penelope." Erin laughed softly, and JJ raised her face to kiss Erin's soft lips. Her phone buzzed against them, interrupting their embrace. "I'm sorry, that's probably Hotch letting me know there's a briefing. I have to go."

"I know, my sunshine. I'll see you when you get home." She kissed JJ once more, sweetly, and JJ found herself longing to stay with Erin. They stood and she held her hand as they walked to the door.

"Make sure you call Kacey before it gets too late. At least now we know he's in the dark about the calls you've been making."

"There is that." Erin leaned forward to kiss her again, lingering on her lips. "Thank you, Jennifer."

"You're welcome, Erin" She left the room, her hand clutching her briefcase tightly. Nodding to Erika, who was on the phone once more, she left the room, heading over to the bullpen. The others were just gathering their things when she entered and she followed them up to the conference room. Sitting next to Reid, she pulled out her iPad and called up the information on the latest case.

Trying to focus on Penelope as she gave the briefing, JJ found her mind occupied by Erin and Victor. "All right, wheel's up in thirty."

JJ hung back from the others and waited to catch Penelope alone. "What can I do for you, Jayje?"

"I know Erin won't like me doing this, but I'm so upset with her douchebag ex-husband right now. Would you make his life miserable? Not anything that would get you arrested or would come back to us. Just annoy the ever loving hell out of him."

"Will do, sugar pie. He'll never know what hit him. I am the mistress of mischief and he'll wish he never hurt my friends." Penelope hugged her quickly and then shooed JJ out of the room. "Stay safe in Nebraska!"

JJ waved to her friend as she grabbed her go bag and caught up with the others. Rossi held the elevator for her and she smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Dave."

"No problem, Jen." They talked quietly about the case as the elevator descended and then opened on the main floor. "Where's your mind at this morning?"

"That obvious?" He nodded. "Why are you men such jerks sometimes? I don't understand how cruel you can be to someone you spent a lifetime with. Don't get me wrong, I abhor Will after all he's done, but I would never do what he's doing to her. Never."

They walked over to the waiting SUV and climbed in the back. "Cara, some men are bastards. I've been called one in my time. I didn't realize, though, that he was quite so bad. She keeps her feelings, her life, close to the vest."

JJ nodded and leaned against the window, watching the scenery pass. On the flight, they once more discussed the case and she found herself going with Rossi to the crime scene. "Do you mind if I make a quick call on the way out?"

"Go ahead, JJ. It's a pretty straight route there."

She pulled out her phone and made a call to her favorite florist, ordering a bouquet of red, pink, and white roses delivered to Erin's office, putting on the card Some sunshine from Your Sunshine. She noticed him looking at her oddly. "What?"

"Have you told her you love her yet?"

JJ felt dumbfounded by the question. Yes, she'd been falling for Erin, but did she love her? "No, not yet. We're still getting accustomed to being partners. Neither of us is ready for the L word."

He chuckled and she felt her cheeks redden. "Don't worry, Jen, I won't reveal your secret. But who else on the team knows?"

"Just Penelope and Hotch. Right now, I think the others would have me committed if I told them about our relationship. I hate lying, but her emotional stability is the most important thing to me at the moment." Dave nodded and they turned their focus onto the case.

That evening, they didn't get back to the hotel until nine, and she found herself anxious to speak to Erin. Excusing herself from supper, she went up to the hotel room and called Erin. "Hello, Sunshine," was Erin's tired greeting.

"I hope you like the flowers. I just wanted you to feel lovely after the morning you had. Did you get ahold of Kacey?"

"Uh huh. And surprise, surprise, Rachel lied to Victor about what happened. Kacey thinks she's falling into a funk, since she's sleeping so much these days. So, when Rachel came to get her for supper the other night, she was napping, with her book open on her chest. Rachel tugged on her hair to wake her up and she came to with a start, accidentally smacking her in the face with her book."

"This is going to sound horrible, Erin, but how do you know she's telling you the truth?"

"She swore she'd apologized and sounded truly fearful about being sent to boarding school. I wish I could hold my baby, Jennifer."

"I would move heaven and earth to make that possible for you, my dearest heart. Did the rest of your day go better, at least?"

"Yes. Penelope came down and tuned up my computer and then we went out to lunch. She's really very sweet." As Erin went on to talk about the lunch, JJ saw the door handle turn and Emily stepped inside. Yet JJ found she didn't want to let Erin go so quickly.

"Hey, Jayje, I'm going to take a shower and then turn in. Do you mind if I turn the light off?" She shook her head and the room was dark in an instant. "Is that Mrs. Vos?" JJ nodded and Emily smiled. "Tell her to give Henry an extra kiss for me." She picked up her nightclothes and went into the bathroom.

"Is she gone now?" Erin asked softly a few seconds later.

"Yeah, we're sort of safe for the moment. How'd Henry's day go?"

"Good. Oh, actually, I was going to tell you tonight. I found a talented and gifted private school for him next year. He'll only be a few months younger than his classmates."

"That's wonderful! But I don't know if I could afford that."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of the bill. It's the least I could do for you mein Sonnenschein." She heard Erin sigh and sighed herself. "Do you have any idea how much I miss you right now?"

"Probably about as much as I miss you. Oddly, I never missed Will this much, ever. But maybe that's because we had a long distance relationship from the very beginning. It was normal for us to be apart."

"Like I told Victor this morning, I relished my time away from him. But I find myself watching the clock for you."

JJ laughed lightly. "Well, I guess I'll have to get you a watch for your birthday. Would you mind singing me to sleep? If I can't be near you, at least I can hear your voice until the darkness comes."

"Of course, Jennifer. What would you like me to sing for you?"

" _Ye Banks and Braes_? Please?"

"Certainly." Erin's sweet soprano began to sing, "Ye banks and braes o' bonnie Doon, How can ye bloom sae fresh and fair?" JJ soon fell asleep to the dulcet tones of the song, a contented smile on her lips.


	13. Chapter 13

Henry looked about the waiting room anxiously. He knew something was odd about the day, but wasn't too clear on what a dentist was, and had asked a million questions on the way there. Looking up at Erin, he lifted his arms. "Up, Win?"

She bent down and brought him up onto her lap. "You do know there's nothing to be afraid of, right, precious? The nice dentist is just going to take pictures of your mouth to make sure your teeth are keeping up with your body."

Henry nodded solemnly and wrapped his arms around her neck. "You'll come back with us, right, Win?"

"Of course I will, my love. Has Mama told you what we're going to do if you're a brave boy and don't make a fuss over a new experience?" He shook his head and she smiled widely at him. "Even though it's still cold out, we're going to the zoo to see the animals. Does that sound like fun?" He nodded and then rested his head against her shoulder.

JJ looked at Erin and felt the smile on her face grow. "What do you want to see first, honey?"

"The elephants! I love watching the elephants. Do you think we can see the big cats, too?" His voice fairly shook with enthusiasm and she found herself laughing gently at him.

"Henry LaMontagne?" JJ looked to the doorway and saw a kind looking nurse standing there. She stood up and helped Erin to her feet, as Henry suddenly got very shy, burying his face in Erin's neck. "Hi, sweetie. We're going to take some pictures today and then the dentist is going to talk to you, okay?"

Henry shook his head and Erin rubbed his back lightly. "Remember, we're going to the zoo if you behave. I know it's a new experience, my love, but I'll be right with you, same as Mama."

"You pwomise, Win?" She nodded and kissed his cheek softly as they went back to the x-ray chair.

"Okay, Henry, this is the chair you have to sit in to take the pictures. Because these are special pictures, you have to wear a heavy apron so that we can only see your head."

His eyes widened as he looked between his mother and Erin, and JJ felt her heart melt. "It will be okay, Henry, I promise." JJ kissed his cheek lightly and looked at the nurse. "Could one of us sit with him?"

"Of course, ma'am." And Henry, all the while, held tightly to Erin who just smiled at JJ, settling back in the chair.

"All right, Henry, you're going to have to get up for one moment so I can put my apron on first," Erin said lowly and he nodded, holding tightly to JJ's hand as he silently watched Erin put the lead apron over her body. JJ settled her son on Erin's lap and the nurse put the smaller apron over him.

"Now, this next part is kind of fun. I need you to open your mouth as wide as it can go and then bite down on this piece of film. It will feel a little weird, but it won't hurt." Henry did as told and bit down on the film. "This is the camera, and it will rest against your cheek to take the picture. Try to sit as still as you can, okay?"

"Yesh," Henry said through clenched teeth and the nurse smiled at him. She took the first picture, then adjusted the camera for the second. JJ watched the fear pass over her son's face and then Erin whispered something in his ear and he relaxed against her. Soon, they were done and the nurse led them to a private room.

"What color would you like your toothbrush to be, Henry?" The nurse opened a drawer and he leaned forward, looking in.

"May I have the green one, please?" he asked as he sat back against Erin on the exam chair. The nurse handed it over, along with a small box of toothpaste. "Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome. The doctor will be by in just a few moments to show you the pictures I took." She ruffled his hair and left the room. JJ leaned against the wall, watching Henry and Erin.

"You've done really well so far, Hen. Just a little bit longer and we'll head out." Henry nodded through a large yawn, snuggling back into Erin. A deep wave of contentment swept over JJ as she met Erin's eye. "Thank you for doing this with us, Erin. It's made my day so much easier already. I love the family we've become."

It was the closest JJ could come to admitting her feelings for Erin, and the other woman just nodded. "I'm happy to be with you and Henry. You're filling this hole in my heart that I never knew was there. My daughter Kacey can't wait to meet you, Henry. I hope you like her."

"Is she like you, Win? Because if she is, then I'll love her. I love you."

"She's a little like me. More sensitive than I am, but then, she's younger and hasn't been through what I've been through."

The doctor came in and put the x-ray pictures on his lamp. "Hi, Henry. My name is Dr. McLeod and I heard you've been a very brave young man so far today. I'm sure your mommies are proud of you." The easy acceptance displayed by the man warmed JJ's heart and she smiled at Erin, who smiled back slightly. "Well now, let's take a look in your mouth. Open up as wide as you can and I'm going to use this mirror to see your teeth in the back."

Henry looked over the small mirror and nodded. Opening his mouth wide, he leaned back against Erin and let the man do his work. "That's it?" he asked when the doctor removed the mirror.

"For now. Next time, we'll use the mirror and do something else, too. But I want you to be okay with each thing I do. Now, do you want to see the pictures the nurse took?" Henry nodded and the doctor brought down his light and turned it on. Henry seemed fascinated by the x-rays and bounced on Erin's lap as Dr. McLeod pointed out where his big boy teeth were growing and waiting to come in. "So, I'm going to see you again in six months. Until then, I want you to brush your teeth twice a day, okay?" Henry nodded and the doctor shook his hand before leaving.

A few moments later, the nurse from earlier reappeared, a bright smile on her face. "Are you ready to pick out a prize?"

"I get a pwize?" he asked excitedly and the nurse nodded.

"All kids who do as well as you did get a prize. Follow me." Henry climbed off Erin's lap and followed the woman out the door. JJ took hold of Erin's hand, helping her up so they could follow Henry. "And you can take a sticker, too, if you like."

"Look, Mama! I got a dinosaur!" He threw his arms around her and then held up his arms to Erin, who picked him up. "I have to go potty."

"I'll take you, sweetie." The nurse showed them where it was while JJ checked out and set up the next appointment. "Are you ready to head out, Jennifer?" JJ turned and looked at Erin, smiling at her.

"Yeah, we're all set here." She reached out for Henry's other hand and they walked out to the car. Henry chattered all the way to the zoo about what he wanted to see and how much fun they were going to have. JJ pulled into the driveway of the zoo while Erin rummaged around in her purse. "Admission is free, dear."

"I know, but we can get free parking with my FONZ membership. I just have to find it first." JJ nodded and took the ticket from the young man's hand before driving on. "Aha! Here you are," Erin said as she pulled out the card. "Hand me the parking ticket so I can keep them together."

JJ did so and then pulled into a parking spot. "All right, we're in Lot A. Remember that, Henry." Together, they entered the zoo and JJ picked up a map to show them the way around. "It's just after eleven. Do you want to have lunch now or wait a little while, Henry?"

"I'm hungry, Mama." She nodded and held his hand as they quickly found the closest restaurant.

"What would you like, Erin?" JJ asked as they stood in line.

"The grilled chicken salad sounds good. And a bottle of water. I'll go find us a place to sit down while you're waiting for the food. Come along, Henry." She took his hand and led him off towards the booths.

The line moved quickly and soon she was at the front. "Hi, could I please get two grilled chicken salads, one with French and one with ranch, a kid's meal with chicken tenders and white milk, and two bottles of water, please?"

The kid behind the counter nodded as he rang her up. "That'll be $22.50, please." JJ dug out the money from her purse and handed it over. After taking her change and receipt, she moved to the side and waited for the food. "Here you go," he said, pushing the tray towards her moments later. She picked it up and went to find where her lover and Henry had sat down.

"Over here, Mama!" She turned to the sound of his voice and saw him waving at her. Smiling, she went over to their booth and set the tray down. Henry pulled off the bag and tore into his food while JJ handed one of the salads to Erin.

"I got you French dressing. That's the kind you like, right?"

"Yes. I'm surprised you remembered, we eat salads so infrequently." Erin smiled and took the packet of dressing, pouring some on top of the salad. "How did you manage to get a Friday appointment? Those are usually the first to fill up."

"I wanted to get Henry in months ago. This was the first one available. Are you spending the weekend with us?"

"I'd love to, Jennifer. At least, if you want me."

"Oh, I want you very much." Erin flushed at the innuendo in her voice and JJ laughed lowly, reaching across the table.

Erin took her hand and squeezed lightly. "Soon, mein Sonnenschein, soon." Letting go, they ate in relative silence and then went back out into the zoo. Much to Henry's dismay, the elephant exhibit wasn't completely open yet, so there weren't very many to watch. They spent a lot of time watching the tigers instead before going on to the other animals.

When Henry began to get a little cranky, JJ decided it was time to go. "One last stop at the gift shop before we go. You may pick out one thing, okay?" Henry nodded slowly and they went into the gift shop closest to where they parked. Erin opened the door for them and followed after them.

Her son made a beeline for the stuffed animals and pointed to a stuffed lion. "I want that one, Mama."

"Of course you do, Henry," she drolly replied as she took a look at the price tag. "Are you sure this is the one thing you want?"

"Yes." He frowned at her and she tried to swallow the laugh that bubbled up to her lips. She recognized that look, having seen it on Erin's face numerous times. "I'm serious, Mama. Win, tell Mama I'm serious."

JJ noticed Erin was stifling a smile as well and just looked at her. "Well, Win?"

"He's serious, Jennifer. This is the toy that he wants." Erin picked up the plush lion and took Henry's hand, leading up to the cash register.

"Erin, wait! I don't think so." JJ caught up to them and stopped Erin by putting her hand on her arm. "You spoil him too much already. I'll be getting that." Erin raised her eyebrow at JJ and inclined her head. "That look doesn't work on me any longer, honey. I've become used to it over the last few months."

"Dammit," she softly swore, a smile sneaking across her face. "There goes all my mystique." JJ laughed then, and they continued on to the register. Henry lifted his arms and Erin picked him up, holding him close while JJ paid. He didn't get down as they walked out to the car, making JJ carry the lion. Erin buckled him in the car seat while she put the lion on the seat next to him.

"Did you have fun today, Henry?" she asked as they drove home.

"Yeah. But I tired, Mama." He yawned at the end of his statement and JJ smiled.

"That's because you didn't have a nap yet. Go to sleep while I drive home, okay?" He nodded and reached down for his lion, snuggling with it as he fell asleep. "So, sweetheart, you said soon this afternoon. Would that be soon as in tonight?"

"You wish. Maybe some more cuddling?" Erin bit her lip and looked over at her. "I know you've been so patient with me, but could you wait a little bit longer? I, I'd try, for you, if you want, though."

The vulnerability evident in her voice touched JJ's heart. "I love our cuddle time, Erin. It means the world to me to be in your arms and to feel your skin touching mine. And until you're ready to go further, I'm fine with that." Erin sighed happily and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Besides, I rather like waiting. It will make the end results that much sweeter."

She smiled at her partner and was relieved to see Erin smile back. "What should we make for supper tonight? I was thinking of trying out a new recipe."

"What's it have in it?"

"Nothing exotic. It's chicken breasts pounded flat and filled with broccoli and cheese. Then you roll it in bread crumbs and bake it for about thirty minutes. Do you think Henry would eat something like that?"

"I know I would. He's open to trying new things though, which really helps. We'll make them together?"

"I'd like that very much, Jennifer." The rest of the drive home, she felt Erin watching her and she smiled. "What is it?" Erin asked softly.

"I like you watching me. I know you care for me by the way you glance my way or stare at me. I hope you never take your eyes off me." JJ pulled into the garage and turned her full gaze on Erin. "Always keep me as the apple of your eye."

"As long as you set me as a seal on your heart." Erin leaned forward and JJ met her halfway, kissing her passionately. "That is amazing."

"I know." They got out and JJ woke Henry up while Erin went inside. "Erin and I are going to begin supper now, so you can play video games or read, okay?" Henry nodded and carried his lion inside. JJ made her way into the kitchen and found her lover standing in front of the counter, holding on to a wooden mallet.

"Could you get out the broccoli and cheese for me?"

"Yeah." JJ opened the fridge and took out a head of broccoli. "What cheese do you want to use? We have cheddar, American, asiago, or Swiss."

"Get out the Swiss. I think that will probably work the best."

"Okay." JJ took out the hunk of cheese and brought the ingredients over to the counter. As Erin flattened the three chicken breasts, JJ washed the broccoli and cut it up into small florets, putting them in a small bowl. Then she cut off a chunk from the brick of cheese, dicing it into small pieces. With that finished, she returned the rest of the cheese to the fridge, and then leaned against the counter. "What do you need now?"

"Preheat the oven to four hundred, get out a tray and line it with tinfoil, and then get out the breadcrumbs and three eggs." JJ nodded and did as told, setting the box of bread crumbs next to her as she cracked the eggs into a shallow bowl. "You read my mind, Sunshine."

"I try to think ahead a few steps. So, we need to stuff the breasts next and then cover them in breadcrumbs. Which do you want me to do?"

"You can stuff them and I'll do the rest." JJ switched places with her and put the cheese and broccoli in the middle of each breast, folding the meat around the stuffing before handing it over to Erin. As a team, they got everything ready quickly and after washing her hands, Erin stuck the pan in the oven before taking hold of her hand. "Let's go watch the news while that's cooking."

Together, they went into the living room and settled on the sofa. JJ picked up the remote and turned on the television. Leaning forward, Erin picked up her crossword puzzle book and opened to the one she was currently working on. Eventually, she ended up with her head in JJ's lap. JJ stroked her hair lightly, watching her work out the puzzle. "You are adorable."

"Excuse me?" Erin looked up at her over the book and JJ smiled.

"You heard me. Absolutely adorable." Leaning down, she kissed Erin's forehead and watched Erin smile up at her. "Nights like this make me feel so bucolic."

"That's the word I'm looking for! Thank you, Sunshine." Erin hurriedly wrote the word in the squares and then lifted her face up for a kiss. "Can I tell you something?" she asked as she fingered her pendant.

"Of course you can, Erin."

"I really like kissing you. Victor never really kissed me like you do." Erin reached up and caressed JJ's face tenderly.

"And I really like kissing you." JJ let her hand drop down to cup Erin's breast. "Among other things."

Erin nodded and set the book aside, arching up a little into the soft touches of JJ's hands. "We still have a supper, a bath, and a bedtime story to get through before any of this can happen, Jennifer." She swatted away the hand delicately and sat up, breathing heavily.

"I know," JJ replied, smiling mischievously. "I just like teasing you. You make it so easy to do." Erin just shook her head, her lips turned up a little. By the time the buzzer rang, Erin had finished her puzzle and they went into the kitchen. Henry was standing on a chair, trying to climb onto the counter.

"What are you doing, mister?" JJ asked, staring at him.

"I wanted to set the table for us, Mama. I was going to be careful." He smiled up at her and she picked him up, setting him on the floor. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Sort of, sweetie. The oven is on, and you could have burned yourself. You have to be careful, all right?" He nodded and hugged her tightly as Erin turned the timer and oven off. She handed the plates to Henry, who put them on the table. JJ got out the utensils and cups while Erin put on an oven mitt and took out the chicken. "Do you want milk or juice for supper?"

"Milk, please." JJ nodded and got the jug out, pouring him a glass. Erin had a bottle of red wine in her hand, and JJ grinned.

"Good choice, sweetheart." Erin smiled at her as she poured the wine and then set the bottle next to her spot. JJ served them the dish and cut Henry's food for him so he could eat it. "Now be careful, Hen. It just came out of the oven and will be really hot. Blow on it a few times first." Henry nodded and followed her directions as he ate.

"I'll give Henry a bath if you want to clean up," Erin said as they finished eating. JJ nodded and picked up the plates as Erin carried her son upstairs. She then recorked the wine bottle and put it in the rack. Once the dishes were in the washer, she picked up their still half-full wine glasses and carried them up to their room before joining them in the bathroom.

Henry was almost asleep by the time Erin put him in his pajamas and they tucked him into bed before going over to their room. "I brought our wine up to the room." Erin looked at her quizzically. "There's something I want to try with you."

"O-okay." Erin sat on the bed and JJ knelt before her, unbuttoning the blouse she wore and pushing it off her shoulders. Then she picked up her glass of wine, dipping her finger in it before drawing a wet line from Erin's cleavage to the pulse point of her neck. "Jennifer?"

"Trust me, Erin," she whispered as she leaned forward and licked the wine from her body. The low moan that erupted from her lover's throat sent a thrill through her. "Does that feel good?"

"Y-yes. Oh, Jennifer, that feels amazing." JJ smiled and reached up to kiss her as Erin wrapped her arms around her, pulling her onto the bed.

"Do you trust me enough to go a little further?" Erin nodded, and then smiled at her. JJ unhooked Erin's bra and pulled it off her body. Once more, she dipped her finger in the wine and then swirled it around her nipple, stiffening the peak almost instantly. Her lips closed around the erect nub and Erin dug her hand into JJ's hair, holding her there as she licked and sucked the wine off.

"May, may I reciprocate?" she asked breathlessly once JJ had released her breast.

"Of course, Erin." The deliciously feral look that lit Erin's eyes sent another shiver of desire through her and she tugged off her shirt, letting it fall to the floor. Erin unhooked her bra and JJ shrugged out of it, feeling the cool air stroke her skin. And then Erin's fingers were coating her nipple with the wine and she lost all rational thought as Erin's sweet lips closed around the taut bud. "Oh, god, Erin, don't stop," she whimpered as her lover's mouth tugged and suckled. And then her teeth scored the nipple delicately and JJ arched up into the touch, unable to hold in the sharp, keening moan.

Letting go, Erin looked into her eyes, smiling slightly. "I, oh, Jennifer, I'm too far out of control." JJ nodded and held her tightly for a moment before kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what? That was amazing. A foretaste of what's to come." Erin leaned in and kissed her hard while JJ reached down to cup Erin's ass. She snuggled close for a moment and then let go of JJ to wiggle out of her skirt. JJ followed suit and they crawled beneath the covers.

"I'm not exactly tired, yet, Jennifer. Would you tell me about your family?"

"Certainly. I'm the youngest of three children and grew up in a small town…"


	14. Chapter 14

"Hey, who's the kid?" Reid asked the following Monday, poking JJ's shoulder. She turned to look at the doors and saw a very familiar looking young woman standing there, uncertainly looking around. She stood and went up to her, hearing Reid's questioning "Jayje?" from behind her.

"Kacey?" she asked with a smile and the girl nodded with relief. "How did you get here?"

"The security guard said my mom works on this floor. Do you know her?" The voice, though an octave higher, was Erin through and through. JJ nodded. "Will you take me to her, then?"

"You didn't answer my question, Kacey. How did you get here?" JJ rested her hand on Kacey's shoulder, looking her deep in the eyes.

"You're Jennifer, aren't you?" She nodded. "Mom told me about you two. I found an airline who wouldn't be bothered by a fourteen year old flying alone. We live in the heart of Berlin and it was nothing for me to sneak away and hail a taxi. I paid with my pocket money."

As JJ watched, large tears rolled down her cheeks. "Honey, what is it?"

"I just want to see my mom. Please, take me to her." JJ wrapped her in a tight hug, which the girl returned. "Jennifer, please?"

"I'm actually going to take you to my friend, Penelope. She'll look after you while I go get your mother. She might be in a meeting this morning, so it could be a few minutes, but I promise, I will return with her." Kacey nodded against her shoulder and JJ let go of her to sling an arm around her waist.

Ignoring the looks she got from the rest of her team, she led the girl up to the tech cave. Knocking once, she opened the door and found Penelope watching her screens, looking for something. "One second." She hit a series of keys, pausing the screens and then turned to face them. "Good morning, Jayje. Who's our young friend?"

"This is Kacey Strauss. She's newly arrived from Germany. I'm going to run up and get Erin back here. Show her some cool stuff while I'm gone, okay?" Penelope nodded and cleared her screens.

"So, do you want to spy on your dad?"

"You can do that?" Kacey asked excitedly, sitting down next to Penelope. JJ left before she heard anything too incriminating and went down to her desk, picking up her phone.

"Do you know her, JJ?" Emily asked as the others surrounded her desk. "You seemed pretty chummy there."

"That's Kacey Strauss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get her mother." JJ pushed through them and went outside into the hallway, walking quickly to Erin's office. "Hey, Erika, is Erin free?"

"Hey, JJ. Yeah, she's on the phone at the moment, but you can go right in. Is everything okay?"

"I don't know yet. We're going to find out shortly, though." Biting her lip, she slipped inside and watched Erin talking animatedly to one of the ADs. A few moments later, she hung up and smiled at JJ. "Hi?"

"Hello, Jennifer. To what do I owe the pleasure?" She got up and came to her side, slipping an arm around JJ's waist.

"Don't be upset, my sweet Erin." Her lover stiffened and pulled away slightly to stare at her. "I have something to tell you, but it might be a bit easier to hear if we sat down." She led Erin over to the sofa and they sat.

"What is it, Jennifer? Has something happened to Kacey?"

"Kind of. How much would you like to see her right now?" JJ looked into Erin's eyes, noticing the quick flame of hope that lighted there.

"What are you saying? Have you been in contact with Victor? Has he relented and decided to let her come home?"

JJ shook her head, hating to see that flame go out. "She's here. Now. Penelope's looking after her until we can get back down there." Erin covered her mouth with her hand, quick tears pouring down her face.

"She's here. My baby's home," she whispered as she collapsed against JJ. "Victor doesn't know, does he?"

"No, sweetheart. Kacey took his credit card and bought herself a ticket here. She's waiting for you. Are you ready to go see her?"

Erin nodded and they stood up. "Kiss me for courage, mein Sonnenschein?"

"Yes, Erin." She tipped her lover's face up and placed a feather light buss on her lips. "Here, let me fix your makeup a little. I know it's going to run more once we get to Penelope's office, but you have an image to maintain." Erin let out a watery laugh and leaned into JJ's touch. JJ found she couldn't help herself and kissed her lover once more.

"We can't go in there together, can we?" Erin's voice sounded so sad, and JJ wished she could be open about their relationship. "I'm beginning to really hate the frat rules."

"Would you really tell people I'm your girlfriend?" JJ asked, wanting to know her lover's answer.

"No. I'd tell them you are my other half, the one I've found I cannot live without." Erin clasped her hand and squeezed tightly. "Now take me to my daughter." JJ smiled dazedly at Erin's back. This was the closest they'd come to admitting their feelings for each other and suddenly all she wanted to do was kiss Erin senseless. "This is neither the time nor place for that thought, Jennifer," she said without even turning around, her hand on the doorknob.

"You know my hidden thoughts so well." Once in the hall, they switched positions, and JJ schooled her features as she led her girlfriend into the bullpen, trying not to give anything away. She knocked two times on Penelope's door and then went in. "Hey, we're here," she said softly as she shut the door.

"Mommy!" Kacey stood up and ran to her mother, throwing her arms around her waist. "I can't stand being there anymore. I want to be home, with you. Please, let me stay."

"Honey, you know I don't have custody of you. Your father is going to be furious with me when he finds out you're here. I'm sorry." She began to weep copiously and they made their way to the sofa, sitting down heavily.

Penelope turned to look at JJ, her own tears rolling down her cheeks. "Jayje, this is so tragic. Isn't there anything we can do to help?"

"I don't know what we could do. It seems like the douchebag has a lot of judges in his pocket, which is how he got custody of them in the first place." JJ felt her own tears course down her face and Penelope slung an arm around her waist. "I just want my girlfriend to be happy."

The door to the office opened and JJ looked to see who was coming in. Hotch stepped inside and frowned slightly. "Okay, ladies. What is going on here? The rest of the team is freaking out."

"Sugar Bear, you have to help us! Erin's daughter doesn't want to stay with her father anymore, but he has custody. Is there some way you could work some magic and reunite them?"

"If it's a court order, Penny, there's not much we could do. And if her ex-husband doesn't know she's here, things could look bad for Erin. She's going to have to call him and let him know, the sooner the better."

"But will you help them?" Penelope persisted, pulling JJ closer. "Please?"

"I'll look into it, if Erin wants me to. Now, what am I supposed to tell the others?" He pinned his eyes on JJ, and she swallowed hard.

"Are they asking how I know Kacey?" He nodded. "I suppose I'll have to do deal with that, then. While I'm doing that, Penelope, would you call Erika and let her know about Kacey being here and that we're going home after this. That is, if that's okay, Hotch."

"That'll be fine, Jen. You know what? No, you need to work through this. I'll make up a story to cover things for now and then bring them into the conference room. You'll have a thirty minute window to get out of here with them." JJ nodded and then took a seat next to Erin. Her lover leaned back against her, Kacey still crying hard. "I'm so sorry, Erin. I wish…"

"I know, Aaron. Thank you for helping us out in this little way, though." Erin turned her face into JJ's shoulder, soon wetting it with her tears. The door opened and closed once more and Erin sat up. "All right, Kacey. We have to clean ourselves up a little before we go out there. Oh, I'm so glad to see you." She wiped the tears from her daughter's face before kissing her forehead.

"Where are we going? To our house or Jennifer's?" Kacey asked as she smoothed her hair and straightened her clothes.

"Where would you like to go?" Erin stood and they followed suit. Kacey put herself between JJ and Erin, hooking an arm around each of their waists.

"I want to go to the place you call home now," she softly said and JJ met Erin's eye over her head.

"To Jennifer's it is then. Do you think it's safe for us to make our escape?"

Penelope grinned. "Let me check." She hurried over to her computers and tapped quickly away on her keyboard. Soon, a view of the conference room popped into view and they watched the others talking heatedly. "I have access to all the cameras here. I've been taking care of the incriminating footage of us for some time now. It looks like you're good to go."

"Thank you, Penelope." Erin stepped forward and hugged the other woman, stunning both JJ and Penelope. "I'm starting to see what the others see in you." Holding out her hand to Kacey, they went out into the bullpen, JJ trailing after them. "I have to get my things from my office. Kacey, go with Jennifer to get Henry and I'll meet you at the car." They nodded and parted ways.

"Do you have any idea how happy you make my mother, Jennifer?" Kacey asked as JJ grabbed her purse out of her desk drawer.

"I would hope as happy as she makes me. And you can call me JJ, if you want." She put her hand on Kacey's shoulder and guided her out to the elevators. They rode down to the first floor and JJ went up to the daycare room while Kacey hung back a little. "Hey, Kim, I'm here to pick up Henry. Something came up and I have to run home."

"Let me get him. He's playing trucks with Zach at the moment." The young woman turned and went over to where Henry was, tapping him on the shoulder and pointing to the door. Smiling, he ran up to her and lifted his arms.

"Mama, why are you here so soon? It not time to go home now."

"Not usually, no. But someone special came to visit us, so we're going to spend the day with her," she said as she picked him up. "Henry, I want you to meet Erin's daughter, Kacey."

"Hi, Kacey," he said shyly, smiling at her. She nodded and they walked out to the garage. Erin was at the car already, leaning against the passenger side door. "Win! Your tochter is here!"

JJ looked at him and then at Erin. "Are you teaching him German?"

Erin shrugged her shoulders slightly. "He's so bright, I figured I would fill his brain with knowledge." Henry reached out his arms and Erin took him from JJ and opened the car door, putting him in his toddler seat. "Are we ready to head home now?"

JJ nodded and got behind the wheel while Kacey slid in next to her. "Oh, okay, that works, too. So, what do you want to know about me?"

"Penelope told me you were the one who got my mother the phone so she could talk to me without Father knowing. He checks my call log morning and night, so this had been a really wonderful blessing. You rock, JJ." Kacey smiled at her. "Sometimes, I wished Mom would find a way out and be happy with someone else." She looked in the rearview mirror at her mother.

"I couldn't leave you kids with him. I always knew Victor might pull a stunt like this one." She stopped talking and JJ longed to stop the car and just hold her lover. "Jennifer's been so good to me."

They made it home in record time and JJ had Henry run up to his room to play. She then joined Erin and Kacey in the living room and sat on the sofa. Kacey was staring at her hands as Erin paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. "You're going to have to call him sometime, Mom."

"I know. I just don't know what to say to him. I know I'm going to cry and I don't want him to see me as weak." JJ frowned and patted the open spot next to her. Erin sank down and rested her head on her shoulder.

"We'll be right here, honey. Take some of my strength if you need it." JJ kissed her soft cheek and Erin smiled.

"All right." She took a deep breath and pulled out her cell phone, her finger hovering over the number pad as it began to ring. "Looks like he finally noticed you're gone, Kacey." Pressing the speaker button, she said, "Hello, Victor."

"Is my daughter there, you spiteful bitch?" He sounded so angry and JJ curled her arm around her lover's waist.

"Yes. Kacey is sitting right here next to me. What are you doing to her that she felt she had to run home to me? Why are you letting Rachel hit her? She showed me the bruises on her back."

"See, this is why I had to get her away from your lying, manipulative influence. Kacey fell onto some boxes and that's how she got those bruises. Rachel would never hurt her. Why would she? Kacey might hurt the baby. Fuck, Erin, you disgust me. I want her back home as soon as possible."

Erin leaned against JJ with Kacey curling up into her mother. "She's staying the night. And tomorrow. I'll see if I can find a flight out to Berlin on Wednesday. You won't argue this, because I'll have one of my legal team look into how Kacey really broke her arm in that car accident. And I'm taking pictures of the very much hand shaped bruises on her back."

"You think you can get away with this, you stupid bitch?" JJ felt tears wet her shirt once more that day and she rubbed Erin's back gently.

"I actually know I can, Victor. The preponderance of evidence is in my favor in this case, Victor." She took a deep breath. "Wednesday at the earliest." She pursed her lips, and they all waited for his response.

"Fine, but come the next school year, she's going to that boarding school. Consider that your punishment, Erin." He hung up angrily and Erin shuddered.

Kacey slipped onto the floor and knelt between the two of them. "I hate him, Mom. I really do. Why do I have to go back to a place that I cannot stand?"

"Just because you are having problems with your father, do not let that make you hate Germany. Your great grandmother was born there. Try to focus on the good parts of the country. Soak in the culture. I expect to hear reports on the operas, plays, and museums, okay?" She stroked Kacey's cheek lovingly. "There's always a silver lining to be found."

Slowly, Kacey nodded and rested her head on Erin's legs. "I suppose I could look at it that way. And I can try some more of the pranks that Penelope suggested I try, to make their lives miserable."

This was news to JJ and she looked at Kacey askance. "When have you been talking to PG?"

"She programmed her number in my cell phone right around the time Mom got the number to call me from. We've been texting back and forth about some things. She listens really well. And Father has no idea how the little annoyances have happened." Kacey shrugged. "You have really nice friends, Mom."

"I really do." She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Kacey, holding her tightly for a few minutes. After letting go, Kacey stood with a yawn.

"I hate to ask this, seeing as how we have such little time together, but is there somewhere I could nap? I'm suddenly exhausted."

"The guest room is the second door on the right upstairs. I'll wake you up in time for supper tonight. Oh, I love you, my sweet darling girl." Erin kissed her softly and let her go. Once she was out the door, Erin burst into sobs. "Jennifer, I only have one day with my baby. Will you stay with us, get to know her? I want her to know you like I do."

"So we'll be off until Thursday. I'll let Hotch know." Erin nodded and curled her hand into JJ's skirt as she cuddled close to her. "One second, Erin." She pulled out her phone and called Hotch, hoping he'd pick up.

"Yeah, JJ?" he said brusquely.

"Kacey goes back Wednesday. I'll see you all on Thursday." She ran her hand through Erin's hair, looking for the words to explain why she was doing what she was doing.

"Family is important, Jen. And I am working on finding out a way to bring Kacey back permanently. But what about the others? I know she has a son and an older daughter. Why isn't she fighting for them, too?"

"From what I understand, they've drunk the kool-aid." Erin looked up at her and she smiled. Her lover tried to smile back, but the quiver of her lips told JJ she was close to losing it once more. "I'll talk to you later, Hotch. Have a good day." She hung up before he could respond and set the phone on the table next to her. "You look exhausted, Erin."

She just sighed and fitted her body closer to JJ's. "I am. I have to say good-bye to my baby too soon." The hand on her skirt let go to creep around her waist and JJ pulled her up closer. "You're my witness. I didn't say anything bad about Victor today. I didn't stoop to his level."

"No, you didn't, my dear. Though I wish you would let Penelope unleash her ways on him fully. I know why you won't, I understand why. But I just want to be petty for once in my life. He's a bastard, Erin."

"I know he is, Jennifer. And I'm beginning to loathe him with every fiber of my being, but I don't want him to infect you, too. You mean so much to me, dearest, so much, and to let him eat away at you would hurt my heart."

JJ lifted Erin's face and kissed her soundly. "What hurts your heart hurts mine as well. We are entwined now, or at least that's how I feel. You fill this hole in my life so well. You've helped me to heal, even when the pain felt like too much to bear." Hot tears spilled onto her cheeks and Erin reached up to wipe them away. JJ turned her head to kiss that hand and the motions stilled.

"I want to cuddle here for a little while, to listen to your heart, feel your warmth bleed into me." Erin stood and kicked off her shoes. JJ followed suit and then stretched out on the sofa, using pillows to support her back as she turned on her side to look at Erin. "Thank you," she whispered as she nestled in close to JJ, resting her head on JJ's chest.

"Here, let me," she whispered back, undoing a few buttons on her blouse so that they could have skin contact and she smiled at the way Erin buried her face in her cleavage. "That's one way to take our minds off the events of today. But I think we'll have to wait until tonight."

"Hush, Jennifer. I can't hear your heart." Erin's lips were soft against her breast and JJ smiled, running her hand through her lover's ash blonde hair. "If I fall asleep, wake me with a kiss?"

"Yes, always, my Erin." Her arm tightened around JJ's waist and they both sighed as one. A deep silence fell over the room and they were soon breathing in tandem. JJ watched the clock above the fireplace, wishing she could do something to help her beloved. Hearing the light patter of feet behind them, she smiled. "Hello, Henry."

"How'd you know it's me, Mama?" he asked as he came around to look at her, a bright smile on his face.

"I know everything about you, my darling boy. You are my pride and joy and I will always know when you're near." Henry giggled and crawled up on the sofa, somehow fitting himself between her and Erin. She watched him kiss Erin's cheek and then rest his head on her chest.

"Have you come to cuddle with us, Henry?" Erin asked lowly, a tender smile fluttering across her lips.

"Uh huh. Where's Kacey?"

"She's upstairs, sleeping. Flying takes a lot out of you, especially when you go from one country to another. And she has to be ready to fly back on Wednesday. Her father won't let her stay any longer than that."

"He's so mean, Win. Can't you do something about him? I mean, you work with Mama and help put mean people where they belong."

"Just because someone is mean to us doesn't mean they've done anything wrong. Sometimes in this life there are those who like to treat others badly. They don't do anything bad enough to be punished for because they know how things work, and so they can escape the repercussions."

"And that's what her father did to you?" Erin nodded. "Why do people like that live?"

"There's some good in him, he does love his children, in his own way. He just doesn't love me anymore, and so uses Kacey to hurt me. And everyone has the right to live. If we didn't have the bad in this world, we wouldn't know how sweet the good is. And my good is so very, very sweet right now, Henry. I have you, and your Mama, and, for one brief day, I have my darling Kacey back." She kissed his forehead softly and JJ smiled.

"I love you, Win."

"I love you, too, Henry." Erin tousled his hair lightly and he giggled. "Do you want soup for lunch?"

"Yeah! And grilled cheese!" Henry got up and tugged on Erin's arm, pulling her up. "Mama, go get Kacey while we start the soup."

JJ nodded, buttoning her shirt before standing and kissing Erin sweetly, "We'll be down in a few minutes."


	15. Chapter 15

"Come on, Kacey! We have to pick out which movie we want to watch!" Henry tugged on her hand as Erin and JJ cleared the table. Kacey nodded and got up, following him out of the room.

"I still can't get over how well they get along, Erin. She's like the perfect big sister to him." JJ put the plates in the dishwasher while Erin stuck the leftovers in the fridge. "This is wonderful for when she comes home to us."

"I know. We fit together so well, Jennifer. I wish that Aaron had been able to find some loophole to keep her here now. I don't want to wake up to a tomorrow that sees me sending my baby back to Germany."

"The pictures weren't enough, though. There has to be more of them, Penelope said. I hate having to let her go back to Rachel's hands. She could hurt Kacey again, and Victor wouldn't believe her."

"That's why I told her to start recording every time Rachel flies off the handle at her. Maybe there will be enough of those files to sway a family court judge. Penelope said she'd store the files on her hard drive." Erin sighed and leaned against the counter. "I wish that I could go back to being an unfeeling bitch. My heart aches so badly."

"You were never that label, honey. Just because you were able to hide your feelings away doesn't mean you didn't have them." JJ opened her arms and Erin stepped forward, burying her face in her neck, JJ rubbed her back gently, and Erin nuzzled into her. "Your heart is so tender right now, dearest. Are you up to starting the movie marathon?"

"I suppose. I have to make every moment until she heads through security count." She turned her head and kissed JJ's cheek. "Let's go see what they picked out first." She clasped her hand and together they went into the den. Kacey was shutting the door on the DVD player and she turned to smile at them.

"We decided on Finding Nemo first, and then a Toy Story marathon. I know we probably don't have time for all four movies, but we could fall asleep together." Kacey bit her lip, and JJ saw Erin in her so strongly at that moment.

"Sounds like a wonderful plan, Kacey. Why don't you start the movie while your mom and I open up the pull out bed from the sofa and make up somewhere for us to sleep." JJ and Erin pulled the cushions and pillows off and then tugged out the bed. Opening the trunk in front of them, she took out some blankets and handed them to Erin. In short order they had a makeshift bed made and after they'd settled themselves, Kacey and Henry joined them, crawling between their bodies. A nest was quickly made of the blankets and JJ reached across the back of the sofa for Erin's hand.

Henry made it through the first two movies, but halfway through Toy Story 2, he fell asleep against JJ's shoulder, his thumb in his mouth. "Mom, I know I have to go back tomorrow, but you know my heart's here, right?"

Kacey sounded so sad and JJ felt her heart crack a little further as she squeezed Erin's hand. "Where your heart is, there you are home. I love you, my Kacey." The girl nestled closer to Erin, resting her head on her mother's chest as she continued to watch the movie. She drifted off at the beginning of Toy Story 3 and Erin pulled her blanket up around her shoulders.

"Why are we crying, Erin? This is a kid's movie."

Erin carefully turned on her side to look at JJ. "I don't know. I suppose I'm going to be crying all day tomorrow. Thank you for today."

"It was nothing, my dearest heart. I loved spending tome bonding as a family. When she comes home to us, I want her to know how much she is loved and cared for. I'm gaining an extension of you, after all."

"You're perfect, have I told you that?" she whispered, rubbing her thumb over the back of JJ's hand.

"No, I'm not. I'm sure Will would love to list off all my faults." She tried to stifle her yawn and caught Erin's grin from the corner of her eye. "I don't want to go to sleep yet."

"Neither do I. But we have to be alert tomorrow when we take Kacey to the airport. Did you set the alarm on your cell phone?"

"Yes. Did you?" Erin nodded. "Good. One of us should wake up to them, then. Sweetest dreams, my Erin."

"Sweetest dreams, my Jennifer." They let go of each other's hands, only to entwine them over their children's bodies, holding on tightly.

A few short hours later, the alarms went off and they both woke at the same time. Erin sat up first, fumbling for her phone to turn off the sound of bells. JJ stretched and reached over to shut off the marimba sound. Their children slept on, so they both tried to get up without disturbing them.

"Let them sleep while we make breakfast," Erin softly said, linking hands with JJ. They went into the kitchen and JJ pulled out the pancake mix and chocolate chips while Erin took out milk from the fridge. While JJ whipped up the pancakes, Erin squeezed fresh orange juice for the four of them. "Three hours to go. Help me be strong for my little girl. Help me not to cry until tonight, when I'm in your arms."

"I will, as much as I can, Erin." She began to stack the pancakes on the platter as Erin set the table. "Come here." Her lover paused and went to her side. JJ leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. Erin turned her head and kissed her lips. "I promise you that you will be able to break down in my arms and cry out your pain. And in the morning, or when we get home from work, we will make a countdown calendar. And every day we will write down something we want to tell Kacey or show her when she comes home."

Erin drew in a quavery breath and kissed her once more. "I do not deserve you, mein Sonnenschein. You are my missing piece. I'm going to wake the kids now." She left the room and JJ set the platter on the table. This was going to be such a difficult day for them and she truly wanted to remain strong for Erin. She just didn't know if she possessed that kind of strength.

Henry stumbled into the kitchen, his hair wild from sleep. "Morning, Mama." He crawled up in a chair and rubbed his eyes free of sleep.

A few moments later, Erin reappeared, Kacey clinging to her tightly. "You remembered my favorite pancakes, Mom. Thank you." She let go of Erin and sat down next to Henry. "Mom used to make chocolate chip pancakes for us whenever we were sad. I never failed to feel better when I ate them because she poured love into them."

"Mama makes me good food, too, when I'm sad. I wish you didn't have to go to Gewmany. I like you."

"I like you, too, Henry. Maybe Father will let us call each other on the phone. Or I can use Mom's number." Kacey plated herself some pancakes. "Is there any peanut butter, JJ?"

"One second." She turned and rummaged through the cupboard closest to her. "Here you go."

"Thank you." They dug into the food and when they were finished, JJ took Henry upstairs to get dressed. When that task was finished, she went to their room and found Erin sitting on the bed, her hands balled up into fists, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Honey? What's wrong?" she asked as she sat next to her lover.

"I'm trying to keep it together. Kacey's changing now. I suppose we should get dressed as well." Erin pulled off her top and let it fall to the floor. The pajama bottoms followed and then her panties. It was almost as if her grief made her oblivious to her nudity and she walked past JJ over to their dresser and took out a fresh set of underwear. "I'd look now, Jennifer. I don't know when the next time you'll get this will be. Hopefully soon."

JJ found herself laughing slightly as she approached her lover, shedding clothes along the way. As she wrapped her arms around Erin's waist, she leaned back against her. "I would hope that it would be soon as well." She kissed Erin's bare shoulder before running her hands up to cup her breasts. "I love the weight of your breasts," she whispered as she absently thumbed her nipples to erect points.

"And now you've managed to thoroughly distract me. Thank you." Erin turned in her arms, holding her tightly. This sudden intimacy thrilled JJ and she nodded against her. Their hands became entwined, and JJ brought up her face for a soft, lingering, kiss. "I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be." She let go of JJ and slipped into her panties, pulling them up. Once her bra was on, she went over to the closet and pulled out a skirt and blouse. JJ copied her and picked out some jeans and a long sleeved blouse. "Hey you."

JJ turned to look at Erin, taking in the tender smile on her face. "Yes, darling?" she asked, stepping into a pair of flats.

"Your ass looks great in those jeans." JJ smiled brightly and made her way to Erin's side once more. "Someone I care for deeply told me that once."

"I seem to remember that." She hooked her arm around Erin's waist, pulling her close. "Are you going to put makeup on today?"

"Probably not anything but lipstick. I know I'm going to cry, no matter how hard I try not to." They went into the bathroom and JJ brushed her hair while Erin put on soft pink lipstick. Then she combed out her hair before spritzing on some perfume. "Are you ready to head down?"

"If you are. One more kiss, though, before we head down." JJ gently turned Erin's head and kissed her, letting the woman hug her tightly. "All right, Win. Let's get your daughter on that blasted plane." Erin nodded, making no move to slip out of the arm around her waist. When they got downstairs, Henry and Kacey were in the den, playing video games.

Erin leaned against JJ, a soft smile on her face. "All right, you two, it's time to head out to the airport." Kacey paused the game and nodded.

"Okay, Mama." She set the controller on the trunk and stood up. "Come on, Henry." He jumped up and ran to JJ's side, hugging her leg tightly.

"Do we have to go, Mama? Kacey and I haven't finished our game and I don't want her to go."

Erin knelt in front of him, pulling him close to her. "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. You'll be able to talk to her, though. I promise you that I'll let you call her."

"But it's not fair, Win," he whined, clinging to her.

"If life were fair, my love, it would mean that we deserve all the bad things that happen to us alongside the good. It doesn't work like that, no matter how much it hurts." Henry nodded against her shoulder and then refused to let go of her as she went to stand. "All right, let's head out." Kacey held Erin's hand as they walked to the car.

Henry wouldn't let go of Erin, so she sat in the back with him, while Kacey rode up front. JJ listened to Erin tell Henry stories and looked over at Kacey. She was crying slightly, and JJ reached over to clasp her hand. "Mama always told the best stories when I was growing up. I wish now I had never told her I was too old for them. I don't think I'll ever be too old for her stories."

"I don't think I ever will be either, Kacey. I'd say call us for Henry's bedtime, but it would be one in the morning your time."

"Thanks, Jen. I might take you up on that sometime when I'm feeling too down. Would you really make me a place in your home?"

"Of course, you're her daughter and mean the world to her, and so you mean the world to me. Over the last few months, we've become like a family and if I can add to that, so much the better." Kacey nodded and squeezed her hand tightly.

"I want to be a part of the family you created. It seems so much better than the one I'm being forced to be a part of." Kacey smiled at her and they went back to listening to Erin.

JJ parked in short term and took Kacey's bag. As a family, they entered the terminal and Erin went with Kacey to get her checked in. "We have thirty more minutes before Kacey has to go through security."

"That's just enough time to take some family pictures!" They turned to see Penelope and Aaron coming towards them. "Did you really think we'd let you all go through this alone? I know, not the best place to take pictures, but you have to work with what you have."

Erin clutched JJ's hand and she knew her lover was near tears. "Thank you so much, Penelope."

"Not a problem, Erin." Penelope stepped forward and hugged JJ first and then Erin. "Let's go find a good place to sit." Penelope took hold of Erin and Aaron's hands and dragged them off in the direction of an elegant looking fountain. "This will look perfect!" she squealed, pulling out a small digital camera.

They sat down and Penelope snapped away, getting them into different groupings. "Thanks, PG," Kacey said as she hugged the woman.

"No problem, kiddo. Oh, and I got you something for back there. I loaded it with all of your mom and JJ's favorite songs. And a few of mine, too." Penelope pulled out the iPod and handed it over to her. "Her name's Asuka."

"Like from NGE! Awesome." Kacey held onto it tightly as she turned to face her mother. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, baby. Call me as soon as you land to let me know you made it safely." They all hugged tightly, and Erin kissed her cheek and then hugged her once more before letting go. "Remember, document everything."

"I know, I will." A few tears rolled down Kacey's cheeks as she hugged JJ and Henry once more. "I can't wait to be home again, Mama, JJ. Keep my room waiting."

"Always, my love. The bed will be turned down for your return." Erin pulled her close once again and walked her over to the security line.

JJ watched them go, sniffling a little. "Thank you for coming. I was wondering how I'd keep things together today. We needed a ray of sunshine."

"I'm always happy to be that." Penelope hooked her arm around JJ's waist and smiled at her. "Do you guys have a favorite lunch spot? Rossi wanted us to take you out after all this."

She looked down into her son's face, taking in the tears tracking down his cheeks, and knew how to cheer him up a little. "Pizza Express." Henry tried to smile at her and she bent down to pick him up. He buried his face in her hair and she rubbed his back softly.

Erin came back a few minutes later, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "All right, let's head home."

"Win, we's going to Pizza Express!" He held out his arms to her and she took him from JJ's arms. "Maybe this makes us feel happy?"

"Maybe, precious." She held him close as she drew in a deep breath and JJ watched Penelope reach out to her. Erin rested her cheek on the hand on her shoulder and sighed. "To lunch it is, then." She held out her hand to JJ and she clasped it, leading them outside.

"We'll meet you there," Penelope said, her arm around Hotch's waist. They nodded and went over to their car.

"Sit with me, Win?" Henry asked and JJ felt her heart melt a little at the tender look in Erin's eyes.

"Sure." She got in the back and buckled her belt, curling on her side to stroke Henry's hair as JJ drove. Once at the restaurant, they went with Penelope to get a booth while Hotch put their food order in. "Should we go play some games, Henry?" Erin dug out some money and held out her hand to him. They disappeared into the crowd and JJ smiled after them.

"She's so good with Henry. I don't think Aaron was quite ready to see the tenderness evident today. It's all he could talk about on the drive over here." Penelope smiled as Hotch sat down next to her with their drinks on a tray. JJ set the number on the edge of the table and took her soda, sipping at it.

"But now you know why she's so good with kids. I just wish we'd come up with something that could have kept Kacey here. Those bruises are so scary. What if Rachel hurts her worse this time?"

"Kacey knows to document what happens and as soon as we get hard evidence, I'll have her on the next plane home. Victor may think he has all the lawyers and judges in this area in his pocket, but I'll make certain to prove him wrong." Aaron's jaw clenched. "I hate sending her back into a situation where I know she might get hurt, but at this time, my hands are tied."

By the time Henry and Erin returned to the table, the pizzas were there and Henry had a handful of tickets. "Mama, Win's really good at the ball game. We won a lot of tickets!" He seemed happier than he had been, but she could tell Erin was still struggling.

"That's wonderful, Hen. So, how did you know all our favorite songs, PG?" JJ watched her friend blush slightly as she shoved a piece of pizza in her mouth.

"I may have exploited a loophole in the iTunes Genius feature. I wanted Kacey to have a special part of you to listen to when she gets lonely. I must say, I was not surprised by the amount of Bach in your song list, Erin, but I didn't expect to see Adam Lambert in such heavy rotation."

Erin blushed and looked down at her plate. "Kacey liked him during his American Idol season. I, he sort of grew on me, too." She reached across the table to grab hold of Penelope's hand. "Thank you, so much, Penelope. You made this awful day so much more bearable."

Penelope just nodded, smiling at her. They finished eating and JJ bundled up Henry's tickets, sticking them in her purse. "We'll see you in the morning," she said as she and Hotch left. Erin leaned back in the booth, looking over at JJ.

"What is it, darling?" she asked, clasping her lover's hand.

"I'm ready to go home, Jennifer. I hate to be a spoilsport, but I need to let go." She looked away from JJ and took a deep breath.

"That's fine, Erin. We'll take care of you today." She squeezed her hand tightly and then let go to rub Henry's shoulder. "Okay, buddy, it's time to head home. I have your tickets in my purse."

"Okay, Mama." He grabbed the last slice of pizza and let Erin pick him up, carrying him out to the car. "I hope we can come back soon. I want to spend my tickets."

"Maybe next time, Hen." JJ kissed his cheeks as she opened the car door for Erin. "And Erin has shotgun on the ride home. I miss her sitting next to me."

"Yes, Mama." She heard the pout in his voice and smiled slightly.

"She's my girlfriend, Henry."

"Yeah, but she's my Win." Erin laughed lowly at their exchange and JJ's smile grew to hear the levity in her.

The drive home was quiet, with Henry nodding off about halfway there. Erin picked him up and carried him into his room, tucking him in. JJ followed her into their room and watched as she broke down. "I, I was strong for as long as I could be, Jennifer," she sobbed out and she fell into JJ's open arms. She guided her over to the bed and they say heavily. "Kiss me?"

"How can I refuse so sweet a request, Erin?" JJ tipped her face up and gently kissed her lover, tasting the salt of her tears. They fell back onto the bed and JJ felt Erin fumble with the buttons on her blouse. She let her hands wander down to Erin's shoulders, pulling her closer.

Breaking the kiss, Erin pulled back to look into JJ's eyes. "I need to feel your skin against mine, Jennifer. I need to know you're still here." She nodded and shrugged out of her shirt, watching Erin follow suit. Erin stripped down to her underwear and then pulled down the covers, crawling beneath them to curl up in a ball.

JJ crawled in next to her and fitted her body around Erin's. "You're freezing, my darling one." Erin nodded, and JJ rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Deep from Erin's soul came sobs that ate at JJ's heart. "Turn and face me, sweetheart."

Erin did so and she wiped away the tears on her cheeks. Erin nuzzled into the soft touch, kissing her palm lightly. "Mein Sonnenschein, sweet Sonnenschein, how could I have let her go back to that monster? I am such a horrible mother. What mother lets this happen?"

"The kind who loves her child, but has her hands tied by a corrupt justice system. The mother whose heart is breaking as I look at her and is making me wish I could fly to Germany and kick Victor's ass until he agrees to send Kacey home to us."

"I wouldn't let you do that, my dearest. You mean too much to me to waste your time and energy on him. Rachel, maybe, but never him. I'm starting to see just how much I missed out on by not waiting for the right one to come into my life."

"And yet, if we were to change even one thing about our lives, we would not be together now. All the heartache in my life lately is worth you. I adore you."

"I adore you as well." Erin leaned in for a kiss and JJ let her hands slide down to her lover's ass, cupping the firm flesh. She felt Erin's nipples tighten against her own breasts and pulled her closer against her body. "My heart is tender again, Jennifer. I don't know how to be this sweet, this open. I know I've come a long way, but right now, I just want to pull away from you and curl up in a ball and hide from the world. Don't let me do that."

"I won't, my dearest heart." Erin sighed and snuggled closer to JJ, who kissed her forehead softly.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could give you what you want. I wish I could find the strength inside me to give myself over to the pleasure I know you'll give me." She raised her lips and kissed JJ, silencing herself. JJ deepened the kiss, tapping her lover's lips with her tongue. Erin opened up to her and they let their tongues dance for dominance.

When Erin finally pulled away, they were both breathing hard, and JJ reached up to cup her face. "There's more to intimacy than sex. The walls that you've been building around your heart are falling down, you're letting me into your world. The physical intimacy will be such a small part of our relationship."

Erin nipped her chin and smiled. "A lovely part of our relationship, you mean. The little I've experienced has made me feel so beautiful and alive." She yawned a little and JJ rubbed her shoulder gently. "Wake me when Kacey calls, please."

"Anything for you, my Erin." She smiled at her widely and JJ said, "This is the first time I could tell you that, darling. Sleep now, and I'll watch over you." Erin nodded and nuzzled her face into JJ's shoulder, quickly falling asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

JJ smiled down on her lover. They'd slept for a few hours and then she'd woken up. There were still tear tracks on her face and JJ softly ran her thumb over her cheeks. From the depth of her slumber, Erin nuzzled into the touch and then blinked rapidly. "Jennifer? Has Kacey called?" she asked thickly as she struggled to sit up.

"Not yet, Erin. She's probably still in the air." Erin nodded and nestled closer to JJ. She listened to her lover draw in a deep breath. "What is it?"

"It's just, well, what's happening to us, Jennifer? You've been so wonderful to me, and I don't feel like I deserve this kindness. Yet still, you hold me, and kiss me, and care for me. Why?"

"I don't think there's an easy answer to that, Erin. I think my heart began to soften towards you when I saw you holding my son, telling him how much I love him. I assumed we would just be friends, bonding over our mutual heartbreak. This has stolen up so fast and I really want to continue down this path."

"I do, too, Jennifer, and that scares me. I had thought that Victor was the one, and look how that ended up." Tipping up her head, she kissed JJ's lips softly. "I've told you I'm scared about making love with you, since it hurt so with Victor."

"And I understand, Erin. I do." JJ caressed her arm gently and Erin smiled.

"I'm also scared of the intimacy. You know so much about my heart, more than he ever cared to find out. This gives you so much power over me, and you could leave me at any time." Erin stilled JJ's hand, bringing it down to her breast. JJ cupped it, gently rubbing her thumb over the nipple as she waited for Erin to continue. "I know I'm being silly and that you would never hurt me in that way."

"And yet, Victor destroyed your trust."

"See? You even know that about me." Erin snuggled into JJ, nuzzling her cheek against her breasts. "Am I being stupid?"

"No, you're being cautious. Hearts are so tender, Erin, and I don't want to do something to hurt yours. I know we're going to fight sometime in the future, but I promise that I will never betray your trust like he did." JJ felt tears wet her chest, and she lifted Erin's face to look into her eyes. "I care for you too much to hurt you like that."

Erin leaned up and kissed JJ sweetly. "After the dust of this settles, I think I might be ready."

"That might be kind of soon."

"Thinking of backing out on me?"

"Never. You are stuck with me now." JJ kissed her once more. "Though I am growing accustomed to our kisses. I love kissing you. Your lips are so sweet." JJ found her lips captured in another kiss, this one searingly intense. JJ flipped Erin fully onto her back, their hands entwining over their heads.

"Jennifer," she moaned as JJ kissed a path down her neck. "More?"

"How far?" JJ asked as she released one hand to trail down Erin's body, tugging at the waistband of her silk panties.

"Not quite that far," she panted out, tugging the hand back up to her breasts. "I want your mouth here."

JJ was just about to oblige her when the doorknob rattled. "Mommy? Win? Can I come in?" The look of panic that crossed Erin's face was quite adorable and JJ giggled a little as she pulled the covers up around their bodies.

"Okay, Henry, you can come in."

The door opened and he bounded over to the bed, climbing up to join them. "Is your nap finally over? I missed you." He cuddled in close to JJ and patted her face. "I want one of you to tell me a story. That always makes me feel happy."

"What would you like to hear/" Erin asked lowly, holding the sheet up to her chest.

"Anything, Win." He smiled sweetly up at her and JJ saw herself reflected in his face.

"All right, then, how about my favorite fairy tale? Once upon a time, there was a rich merchant who had three daughters. The youngest was also the quietest, more prone to reading than going to the parties her sisters loved so…" JJ found herself grinning as she listened to Erin's version of Beauty and the Beast. "…and so Josephine and her precious Evelyn lived happily ever after," she finished thirty minutes later.

"That was wonderful, Win!" Henry exclaimed as he hugged her tightly. "I'm going to go play now." He crawled off the bed and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"You're not a beast, Erin." JJ cupped her face again, looking into her lover's dark blue eyes.

"Really? Have I not been called the Ice Queen, the resident bitch in heels, or the Devil herself? I have ears, you know, Jennifer. I think I've heard just about every epithet that's been hurled at me."

"Then hear these. Beloved. My beautiful Erin. My own sweet Chloris."

"You're comparing me to Cloris Leachman?" Erin looked at her skeptically, a slight frown marring her features.

"No, silly, the goddess. The goddess of spring who dropped flowers from her lips each time she spoke." JJ watched as a look of pure pleasure wiped the frown off her face.

"A goddess? Really?" JJ could tell she was trying to be arch, but the words came out too gentle to have any real sting. JJ nodded. "Then I'll have to rename you my fierce Athena. Who else knows about us?"

JJ reeled at the sudden change in topic. "Um, well, there's Hotch and Penelope, who are okay with us, with this, I think. And Rossi is civil enough about you being in my life, in my bed. Hell, he's probably imagined us going a lot further than we have and wondering how to get in on us." Erin giggled a little and JJ leaned forward to peck at her lips.

"He's not as big a lech as he portrays. His age has mellowed him. What about the others? Dr. Reid, Agent Morgan, Emily?"

"They know that I have a very much respected and loved nanny who watches over Henry as if he were her own son. That I cannot live without her. They know I'm thawing out towards you and that you helped me rescue Henry, though they find it hard to believe."

"You can tell them, if you wish. I'm not ashamed of our relationship, you know." Her words were shy, and she blushed as she stared at JJ's chin, unable to meet her gaze.

"And your fierce Athena will kick their asses if they dare hurt you. But I couldn't save your job. I'm not quite that powerful. One of them, Morgan or Emily, could run to Shepperd and poof, there goes our security. I'm sure I could always go back to the State Department, but would you be content leaving the FBI like that?"

"Yes. If I could be by your side." Erin looked away shyly at what she had revealed.

"Then stay with me."

Erin swallowed, a faint blush spreading down her chest. "Jennifer?"

"Move in with me. You're here often enough as it is. Stay. Become a part of my permanent life."

"Yes."

"Just like that?"

"Yes." Erin leaned over and kissed her delicately, just as the phone rang. The ringtone was a country song, 'I Give You to His Heart', and she knew immediately that it was Kacey calling. "My baby was never good at timing. Three weeks late. Give me the phone, Jennifer."

JJ smiled. "Of course, Erin." She handed the phone over and watched her lover's hand tremble as she pressed the talk button.

"Hey, peanut. Did you get in okay? That's good. Oh, he's there already? You probably shouldn't keep him waiting, then, sweetheart. Ich liebe dich." She smiled sadly as she set the phone aside. "I'm sure she'll call again later, when she's free." Erin leaned over the side of the bed and picked up her bra, quickly hooking it.

JJ felt slightly disappointed at the sudden end to their more pleasant pursuits. "Erin?"

"Could we go for a walk? Just around the block or so. I need to work off this anger before I take it out on you."

"Of course we can do that." JJ got up and pulled on her own bra, going over to the dresser to pull out yoga pants and a t-shirt. "Do you want one of my shirts to wear?"

"Sure. Do you have another pair of yoga pants as well?" JJ nodded and tossed her the articles of clothing. They dressed quickly and JJ pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail. Together, they went downstairs and found Henry playing on Erin's iPad. "Hen, Mama and I are going walking now. It's time to put on your shoes, okay?"

He looked up at them and smiled as he nodded excitedly. "Are you feeling better, Win?"

"No, baby, but that's okay. Being with you and your mama makes me happy, though, and that will help me heal." She held out her hand and Henry took hold of it, standing up and starting for the door.

"Come on, Mama! We're going for a walk!" JJ laughed a little and followed after them, slipping her feet into sneakers as they stopped by the door. "Let me tie them, Mama. I need the practice." Henry's bows were sloppy, but effective, and JJ marveled at this new development.

"Where'd you learn to tie laces, Henry?" she asked as she slipped the house key into her pocket.

"Win showed me." JJ looked at Erin, smiling at her. She just shrugged and opened the door.

Once they were outside, each one took hold of Henry, keeping him between them. Their pace was slow, even accounting for her son, and JJ realized this was the way Erin worked out her frustration, when she could. Slow, methodical, going over every piece of information at her disposal. She'd seen it before, in New Orleans, and she felt herself relax with that knowledge.

As they turned down the next street, she saw one of her neighbors and waved to her. The woman waved back before coming over to the fence. "Good afternoon, Jen, Henry. Who's your friend?"

"This is my partner, Erin."

"Oh, at the FBI?" she asked, extending her hand to Erin.

"No, in my life."

JJ watched confusion flicker over the woman's face. "I thought you were with that cop from New Orleans? Though I haven't seen him around here in months."

"Things didn't work out between us. Erin's helped me to pick the pieces he left behind. And Henry loves her. Don't you, Hen?"

He looked at the woman. "Win is the best ever! She teached me how to tie my shoes and she tells the best stories. Oh, and she makes delicious cookies." He looked over at Erin. "Did I say that word right?"

"Yes, you did, Hen." He giggled and threw his arms around her legs. Erin reached down and picked him up, holding him close. "I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your name."

"I'm Judy Temperlie. How long have you two been in a relationship?" she asked kindly.

"Since November," JJ replied, feeling a bright smile spread across her face. "I've never been happier."

"Then that's what matters, isn't it? Word to the wise, though. The Otto's, across the street from you? They won't take to your relationship kindly. I speak from experience, ever since my son and his partner came home for Christmas this year. Mrs. Otto called them the f-word." She reached out and touched JJ's shoulder gently. "Please, keep in mind that not all us Christians are like that. And if you need a shoulder to lean on, my door is always open to both of you."

"Thank you, Judy," Erin said, smiling sweetly. "I appreciate having someone who has our backs in the neighborhood."

Judy nodded and they went back home, Henry running on ahead to get to the door first. From the corner of her eye, she could see Mrs. Otto looking out her window at them. Feeling mischievous, she stopped Erin and kissed her gently before continuing on inside. "I hope she enjoyed the show."

"And I hope you realize that sometimes it is not wise to antagonize our neighbors." JJ nodded and Erin smiled, pulling her close. "Good." Erin kissed her delicately and JJ wound her fingers in her lover's hair, holding her there as the kiss lingered.

"Mommy, when you're done kissing Win, will you make me supper? I'm hungry."

They broke apart and Erin laughed lowly. "It is almost six, Jennifer. What do you say to grilled cheese and tomato soup?"

Henry nodded and ran off for the kitchen. They followed after him and while JJ got out the pan and griddle, Erin pulled out bread, butter, cheese, and ham, from the fridge. "Soup's in the cupboard next to the stove, right?"

"Yep." JJ quickly whipped up the sandwiches while Erin opened the can of tomato soup, adding a can and a half of milk to it as she turned the burner on and stirred the soup. "So, when do you want to start moving some of your things over?"

"You're going to stay here, Win?" Henry asked excitedly and JJ watched Erin smile at her son.

"I am, Henry. Is that okay with you?" He nodded as he hugged her tightly. "I'm glad, since you and your mom make me so very happy." She went back to stirring the soup and Henry clambered up on the counter, pulling out three plates and three bowls. Getting down, he set the table and then waited for them.

Erin carefully portioned the soup into their bowls before putting the pan in the dishwasher. JJ put their sandwiches on the plates Henry had set out, cutting them diagonally. Henry tore into his food, finishing quickly. "May I be excused?"

"Yes, you may." JJ watched him go and she grinned at Erin. "So, your answer?"

"I'll start bringing things over while you're out on cases. It will be easier that way, and it gives us more time together here. Do you mind if we wait until after Henry goes to bed before we pick up where we left off?"

JJ shook her head and Erin held out her hand, waiting for JJ to clasp it before leading her into the living room. Henry was playing with the iPad and they sat down on the sofa, JJ snuggling into Erin. "I love times like this. Just being able to be with you makes me feel wonderful. I don't know why you said you were bad at relationships."

"I've never been in the middle of something so right, Jennifer. I upset you, though, when I got dressed this afternoon, didn't I?"

JJ nodded. "Yeah. I didn't understand at the moment. I should know that by now, that you need time to process, to work out your anger so you don't yell. I was just so anxious, I guess, to please you."

Erin stroked her hair gently. "I don't think you could ever not please me, Jennifer. I do have a question, though. Would you mind if I called you Jenny?"

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

"Well, there's this Harry Chapin song called 'Jenny', and you remind me of the last verse." JJ looked up into her face and found her lover blushing quite a bit. "Shining your sun down on my shadows and all."

"Okay. But you're the only one who gets to call me that." Erin nodded and she reached up her hand to bring her lover's head down, kissing her lips possessively. "I'll have to come up with a pet name for you now, Erin."

"That you will, Jenny." They let Henry play for another hour before taking him up to bed.

Once JJ had finished the bedtime story, she looked at Henry seriously. "Mama and Win are going to have some private time tonight. Please knock before you come into our room, okay?" He nodded solemnly. "All right, then, sleep well, Henry. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mama." He kissed her cheek and cuddled into the bed as JJ pulled the covers up to his chin. On her way out the door, she turned the light off, knowing the dark wouldn't bother him.

Opening their bedroom door, she found Erin on the bed, the covers pulled down to the foot of the bed. Erin was laying on her side, and JJ sucked in a deep breath, seeing her lover like that, so open and free with her partial nudity. "I had to strip down, before I got too nervous and backed out. I don't know how far I want to go tonight…"

"We'll go slow and find out what gives you the most pleasure." JJ pulled off her t-shirt as she shut the door and made her way over to the bed. Peeling off her yoga pants, she left her panties on, seeing as how Erin had done the same. She reached up to unclasp her bra when Erin held out her hand.

"May I?" JJ smiled as she nodded and Erin sat up, resting on her knees so that she could use her hands to unhook the bra. Tugging it off her body, Erin then cupped her breasts, squeezing them gently. "Please, join me."

JJ nodded and climbed into the bed, letting Erin take the lead. "Kiss me?"

"Yes, Jenny." She kissed her sweetly and JJ loved the feel of their breasts mashing together. Tenderly, she pulled them back onto the bed so that they were prone. "So, would you do what I asked of you earlier?"

"I don't remember what that was, Erin. Care to remind me?"

JJ gasped when Erin delicately pinched her nipple. "Does that jog you memory, Jennifer?"

"Perhaps. Or perhaps it makes me think you're a naughty minx who needs to be taught a lesson in patience." JJ giggled and arched away from Erin to look at her.

"Fuck, really?"

"Well, with a mouth like that, I certainly can't call you my sweet Chloris." JJ bent and placed a soft kiss on the tip of Erin's nose. Her lover whined and JJ arched an eyebrow. "Really, you are whining?"

"Maybe," Erin panted out. "Please, Jenny?"

"I suppose I can't refuse a request like that." JJ smiled and slid down Erin's body, placing soft kisses on her skin as she went until she had reached her breasts. Erin's nipples were hard already and JJ sighed before running her thumb over one peak. "You're so lovely," she murmured before rubbing her nose against the nipple.

"Your mouth, please. I don't think I can bear much more."

JJ nodded and let her tongue snake out to lick at the stiffened peak. A sharp moan erupted from Erin's throat and JJ engulfed the peak in her mouth, drawing it deep inside. As she suckled, she felt Erin bury a hand in her hair and take hold of her other hand, dragging it down to her core. "Are you certain?"

"Yes." She guided JJ's fingers beneath the fabric of her panties and she could feel how wet her lover was. The gentle touches JJ gave her seemed to drive her over the edge and as she lifted her head up from Erin's breast, she watched the orgasm sweep over her. "Thank you for listening to me," she said breathlessly as she pulled JJ back down on top of her.

"You're welcome, my sweet Chloris." She kissed Erin soundly.

"Would you like me to reciprocate?" Her voice was tender with longing and hesitancy and JJ bit her lip.

"Only if you're absolutely comfortable with it." Erin nodded and flipped her over onto her back. Without preamble, Erin cupped her breasts, squeezing gently before dropping her mouth to capture a taut nipple between her lips. The hungry suckling was enough to get JJ off and her orgasm swept over her body moments later. "Fuck, Erin, why would he ever call you frigid?" she panted out before snuggling close to her lover.

"I don't think he saw me like you do, Jennifer," she murmured before kissing JJ sweetly. "Tell me a story about your childhood?"

"Whatever you'd like to hear, my Erin." They settled back in the bed and JJ began to tell her a story about her and her sister as she pulled the covers up around them.


	17. Chapter 17

"Would you grab my phone for me, Em?" JJ asked as she brushed her hair, getting ready to put it up in a ponytail.

"Sure." She fished it out of her bag, looking at the display. "Why is Strauss calling you?"

JJ felt her eyes widen as she reached for the phone, answering it. "What can I do for you?"

"Let me guess, Emily is standing right next to you?"

"Uh huh. One second." She moved across the room, stepping out on the balcony of their hotel room, clsing the door behind her. "Okay. What's going on?"

"Honey, Henry is sick again. I'm taking him to the doctor shortly, but I need his insurance card."

"I keep it in the purple folder on the kitchen counter, next to the calendar. What do you think is wrong with him? He seemed okay when I left yesterday morning."

"He keeps saying he can't get warm, and I'm holding him right now while he sleeps. I wish you could feel him shiver, Jenny. It worries me."

"Keep me updated, okay?"

"I would never keep you out of the loop, honey. We should probably get going, though."

"All right. Tell Henry I love him. And I love you." The words just slipped out and JJ smiled smiled gently up at the sky, hoping that she had made Erin smile as well.

"I know." Erin hung up, and she laughed a little. She knew where her lover's heart was, and she didn't need to hear the words confirming her knowledge. Stepping back inside the hotel room, she sliped her phone back into her pocket and finished putting her hair up.

"Is everything okay? You're not being forced into another transfer, are you?" Emily asked. "Because I will go after her this time. She can't keep doing this to our team, our family."

"She is not doing anything to us, Em. Erin was just calling to give me an update on how the case against Will is going. She agreed to oversee that, since we travel so often."

Emily snorted delicately, making sure her gun was affixed to her side. "I don't see why you trust her so, Jayje. The minute you turn your back, she's going to bury her knife to the hilt in it."

"You don't know the first thing about her," she snapped. "She just had to send her daughter back to Germany, since her bastard ex-husband manipulated the court system and got full custody. I know how she feels, seeing as how Will tried to do the very same thing to me."

She tried to keep her voice calm and modulated, but by the end she was glaring at her friend. "Whoa, I didn't realize you were such close friends with her."

"Yeah, well, someone has to be. I'll meet you downstairs." She shoved her own gun in its holster and stalked from the room, almost running down Rossi as she struggled not to give in to the angry tears that clouded her vision.

"Easy there, bella. What has you all worked up this morning?" he asked as he steadied her, leading her down the stairs to the lobby.

"Erin's taking Hen to the doctor. He has chills, and won't stop shivering. She called my cell, and Emily saw her name on the display and started questioning me about why she was calling. I'm afraid I didn't react well."

"You're not going to be able to keep your relationship under wraps forever, Jayje."

"I know. I just want to protect her for as long as I can. I love her, Dave. And if Morgan or Emily were to find out about us at this point, it could cost her her job. I mean, yes, it would be nice to have someone stay home with Henry all day, but that's not her. She has to be doing something more than being Suzy Homemaker." JJ's hand dropped to her now flat stomach. "We've already been through so much. I don't think either of us could handle one more upset."

Her eyes burned with unshed tears and he clapped his hand on her shoulder. "Then I won't tell them you're dating her, Jennifer."

"You're dating a woman, Jayje?" Reid asked as he came up to them. "Is it anyone we know?"

She smile at Reid and shrugged slightly. "You may have met her a few times before. We're keeping our relationship on the quiet side for the moment, we're still exploring where we're going with things, as it's a new experience for both of us." He nodded, grinning at her.

"Well, when you want to make things more public, just let me know, and we can double date."

"Sounds like a plan." The others joined them shortly thereafter and then they made their way to the police department. When the others went to track down leads, she opted to stay behind with Reid, working on the geographical profile. "Can I tell you something?" she asked quietly as they pinned up the map.

"Of course, Jayje. What is it?"

"I don't think you'll like my girlfriend. And I know Em and Morgan don't like her, which is part of the reason why we're keeping things a secret. But the truth is eating away at me. Just, promise me you won't absolutely hate us. You are Henry's godfather after all."

He laughed a little. "Way to make a relationship sound so dire. I mean, it's not like you're sleeping with Strauss." She turned her head to look at him, and his smile wobbled a little. "A-are you?"

"Kind of. We'll be sharing a bed every night I'm home. But we've only made it as far as third base." She saw the faint blush appear on his cheeks and reached out to pat his shoulder. "She went to New Orleans with me to get Henry back. She stayed by my side when I was grieving for little Erin, even as her own heart was breaking. She was going to be our daughter, Spence."

"I, I didn't know," he sputtered, sitting down on the desk behind them. She took a seat next to him, smiling when he reached out for her hand.

"Erin's really private. It's one of the things I love about her." She squeezed Spencer's hand lightly. "So, can you accept us?"

"I can." She looked at him in surprise, not expecting that quick of an assent. "Certain happenings have led me to believe she's not quite the bitch everyone makes her out to be. I've caught certain tender looks she's sent your way. I just assumed you were friends, though. Does Hotch know?"

JJ nodded. "Uh huh. Everyone does, except Morgan and Emily."

"And there's no way you can tell them right now. They really dislike her."

"Exactly. She said she doesn't care if they know, but I do. I don't want them to cause her to lose her job. And Emily is suspicious of me. Erin called this morning, and she saw the caller id."

"I guess you're going to have to be a little more careful." He grinned at her and she knew everything between them would be fine. They got to work on the details they knew, adding them to the map and coming up with their unsub's comfort zone.

As they waited for the others to return, her phone rang and she answered. "Hello, Erin."

"Hi, Jenny. We think we know what's wrong with Hen."

"Is it something serious?" Spencer looked at her in concern and she shook her head.

"No, not too terribly serious. His pediatrician thinks he has iron deficiency anemia. He was very brave when he had his blood drawn, not a single tear was shed."

"And if it is that? What do we do about it?"

"Change his diet a little. More spinach and other things that contain iron naturally. I was thinking I could figure out how to make spinach artichoke dip. Not exactly healthy, but if it gets him used to spinach, it's a start. But we won't know anything for certain until the tests come back. I'd let you talk to him, but he's napping right now. Kacey left behind one of her stuffed animals, and he curled up with it as soon as he found it."

"Oh, you're at your home, then."

"Only until he wakes up. Last time I got most of my clothes moved over. Today, I'm moving as much of her stuff as I can. Is it okay if I put her in the room next to Henry's?"

"That will be fine. Have you been able to speak to her at all in the last two days?" JJ knew she hadn't heard any conversations between the two lately, and it worried her.

"Not as much as I'd like. Rachel is watching her like a hawk while Victor is on a business trip to Japan. We've been texting, but it's just not the same. I miss her, and I miss you."

JJ listened to her lover sigh. "I'll be home before you know it, beloved. Keep a light on for me."

"Always for you, Jennifer. Always." They hung up, and JJ rested her chin in her hand as she stared at the map, wishing time would pass faster.

"Now is not the time to be mooning, Jayje. The others are coming in the door as we speak." She nodded and set her features in a more neutral expression as Emily plopped down on the desk.

"And how was your day?" she asked tiredly.

"We got the geographic profile completed." JJ smiled gently. "Are we heading to the hotel now?"

"It's after seven, so I think so." JJ nodded and stood up, following the others out the door. Hotch updated the front desk with his guess of how much longer they'd be in town in while they went to the restaurant that was part of the hotel. They were quickly seated, and JJ looked over the menu, deciding to get the chicken Caesar salad.

After their order was placed, she felt Emily's eyes on her. "What?"

"I'm still curious as to what Strauss wanted this morning."

"I told you, Em. She just had some news on the Will front. Henry's been bugging me to see him, and I need a go-between, since he still has the restraining order against him." JJ sipped at her tea. "She's been a godsend, what with her background in law. I need a friend like her, Emily."

JJ raised her face up from the table to look at her friend, knowing her cheeks were bright red, and her eyes were sparkling with tears. Emily just stared at her, as if she had grown another head. "You are actually defending her. After everything she did to you."

"And she redeemed herself fully by what she did for me and Henry. You might as well hear the full story, maybe that will change your opinion of her." Taking another sip of tea, she sat back in the chair, playing with the ring Erin had bought her. "We got back from that case late, and I had missed another precious night with Henry. As I was leaving to head home, I met Erin in the elevator and got the fateful text from Will."

"And?" Emily sounded bored, but JJ knew she was interested in the story by the slight way she leaned in.

"She called in a favor with the Director and we took the jet down to New Orleans to get Henry back from Will. She was willing to let herself be used as a human shield so that I might get Henry away if Will were to try something rash. Thank God he didn't."

"Go on."

"And when we got home, she took care of Henry so I could go right out on the case again. Does this sound like someone who is looking for a political advantage?"

Their food came, and JJ paused, smiling at the waitress. "This looks delicious," Emily said, focusing on her food and not answering her question. JJ shook her head slightly and dug into her salad. When they had finished, she pulled some money out of her pocket, shoving it towards Emily.

"Here, that should cover my portion. I have some personal calls to make, so knock on our door four times before you come in. All right?"

Emily nodded. "Fine by me. I'll be up in about thirty minutes."

JJ nodded and stood, leaving Emily behind. Riding up to her floor, she stalked to their room, slamming the door closed. She went over to the balcony doors and opened them, taking a deep breath. Then she pulled out her phone and called home. "Erin?"

"Oh, Jenny, what's wrong?" JJ smiled at how Erin knew something was up with one word.

"I got into a fight with Emily." She sighed and stepped back inside, flopping onto her bed. "She kept pressing me about you and I snapped, told her about your help with Henry in New Orleans. I didn't tell he anything more, but even with that little bit, she didn't believe me."

"Was she very angry?"

"Yes. And that's what concerns me. Her anger could destroy us. And I do not want to see you hurt, my love." She paused and took a deep breath. "I love you more than I cherish my friendship with her. I don't know when that changed, but I've found I don't mind it nearly as much as I thought I would."

"Don't burn your bridges too quickly, my sweet Jennifer. You still need her as a friend." JJ could hear how upset she was and longed to be home, holding her. "Friends are so important."

"Oh, Erin, lovers are just as important. And if you reach out to Reid, I think he would be your friend, too. He knows about us now, and while it might take some time to get him to accept us as a couple, he didn't react as badly as I thought he would. That's most welcome news, right?"

"Right. So, Henry and I decided to spend the night at my house, rather than going home. He's still rather tired, but I managed to get some spinach in him."

"And how did you manage that?" she asked incredulously.

"He copies me. It's really sweet, Jennifer, and I hadn't really noticed it until today. I remember this time so well from my own children." Her voice turned sad, and JJ felt her own heart clench tightly. "I miss little Erin today, too."

"I was missing her fiercely yesterday. When does the ache dull?"

"When I lost my first child, it took about a year to keep from weeping when I thought of her. You cry a lot in your sleep, honey. But I think I do, too."

"Yeah. What a fine pair we make, crying to ourselves and not with each other. I always pull you close to me when I wake up to find you crying."

Erin sighed. "I do the same for you, my sweet Athena. Do you think you'll be coming home tomorrow?"

"Probably not until the day after. We don't even have a shortlist yet, I'm afraid." Emily knocked on the door with the proscribed signal and it was JJ's turn to sigh. "I have to go now, my precious Chloris. I'll call you tomorrow."

"I can't wait to hear your voice once more. Sleep well."

They hung up just as Emily entered the room. "Did you get your calls made?"

JJ looked up at her, schooling her features in an emotionless mask. "Yes. I'm going to take a shower now. If you'll excuse me." She stood up, shoving her phone in her pocket before grabbing her toiletries and pajamas. Pushing past Emily, she locked herself in the bathroom before stripping off her clothes.

She used the spray of water to calm her down. Her loyalties were divided between Erin and Emily, and she knew this would only create tension in the team. Erin was right, to keep Emily on her good side was the right course of action. Finishing her nightly rituals, she stepped out of the shower and dried off.

Pulling on her pajamas, she touched her stomach lightly. There was something about this case that made her miss her baby desperately, and hearing Erin voice her feelings brought the grief all the more closely to the surface. Stifling her tears, she opened the door and went over to her bed, crawling under the covers and facing the wall.

Once she heard the water turn on in the bathroom, she let herself cry. JJ desperately wanted to call Erin once more, to hear her voice, but knew that it was late and they both needed their sleep. Instead, she pulled the other pillow close to her chest, and sobbed for what she and Erin had lost.

JJ fell asleep shortly after the water turned off, never feeling the soft caress that Emily gave her. Her sleep was fitful, dreams of her baby, safe and in Erin's arms, in her arms. One nightmare had her sitting bolt upright with a scream and the lights suddenly flipped on. "Jayje, are you okay?"

She looked at her friend and burst into tears. Immediately, Emily was at her side, pulling her into a tight hug, "It was awful, Em. I dreamt that I had my baby in my arms, and then Will showed up, tearing her away from us. I ran after them, but I just couldn't catch up. I couldn't rescue our baby."

The tears choked her throat and she clung to Emily, letting her rub her back. It took several long minutes for her to calm down, but finally, she pulled away from her friend. Emily looked at her in concern. "He's in jail, JJ. He can't hurt you. And your baby is safe in the arms of the angels."

It hurt to think of little Erin that way, even if Emily was using it to comfort her. "I suppose you're right. I just want her here, in my arms."

"I know, Jayje, I know." She hugged her tightly once more. "I'm going to get ready for the day no and let you compose yourself, okay?" JJ nodded and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly.

When Emily had closed the door to the bathroom, she got up and picked her cellphone up out of her clothes. It was still a little early, but she knew Erin wouldn't mind the call from her. Dialing her, she sat on the bed and waited for her to pick up. "Jenny?" she asked groggily.

"Sorry to call so early, honey, but I had a terrible nightmare, and I just needed to hear your voice. Do you have time to tell me a story before you go to work?"

"I can always be late for one day." JJ giggled a little at her pert tone, scooting back to rest against the headboard. "All right, so, when I was ten, we were going to go on a family trip to Japan. I was so excited about getting to go to another country. And then, right before we were going to go, I came down with the chicken pox."

"Really?"

"Really. And my parents were not about to cancel the trip. So I had to stay behind with my grandparents while my sister got to have the adventure of a lifetime. They brought me home a kimono, and some candy, and a lot of other presents, but nothing could ever make up for missing that experienced."

"And did you ever get to go to Japan yourself?"

"No. It's another of life's little disappointments. But everything happens for a reason, and who knows? Maybe if I had gone to Japan, I would have gotten in a horrible accident and never been able to meet you. So, in the end, I've gotten the better end of the bargain."

"That we have, Chloris. I can't wait to see you."

"Neither can I. I'll see you soon." They hung up and JJ sighed and got up, getting ready for the day ahead of her.


	18. Chapter 18

"All right, everyone. Do you want to head home now or wait until morning?" Hotch asked, looking around at all of them. JJ knew what her answer was the moment he asked the question, but kept quiet, wanting someone else to speak up first. Making eye contact with Spence, she gave him a small nod.

"I vote for home, Hotch," he said, smiling widely. "After all, there's still time to head out for supper after we land."

"I'm with Spencer. I'd like to be able to tuck Henry in tonight. It's been a rough case." Rossi reached over and squeezed her shoulder softly, a sad smile on his lips.

Hotch nodded, looking relieved. "That was going to be my vote, too. Anyone have objections?" No one spoke up and he smiled, one of those rare, joyful, smiles that came when he thought of home and Jack. "I'll call the pilot and let him know. Meet me in the lobby in twenty minutes."

They all nodded and went up to their rooms. JJ didn't need to do much packing, since she had lived out of her bags this time. When she had finished putting away her things, she helped Emily gather up her belongings. They'd come to an uneasy truce, agreeing to not speak about Erin unless absolutely necessary. "Thanks, Jayje."

"It would be simpler if you didn't unpack, you know." Emily just rolled her eyes, stuffing another shirt in the bag. "Are you ready?"

"I think so. Let's go." She picked up her bag and JJ followed suit, closing the door behind them. Spencer was in the lobby already and JJ went up to his side while Emily sat on one of the sofas."

"Thank you for understanding my signal, Spence. It would be kind of awkward to always be the one jonesing for home."

He nodded, smiling at her fondly. "It's the least I could do. Did you hear anything more about Henry?"

"No. But if it were serious, they'd have gotten back to us today, I'm sure of it. And she's getting him to eat spinach, which has a lot of iron in it naturally, so if he is iron deficient, she's boosting it a little." She smiled gently. "She's so very good at taking care of us."

The others joined them and she let Morgan take her bag as she followed Rossi out. Hotch slipped behind the wheel and Reid took shotgun, which suited JJ just fine. She crawled into the back seat, pulling out her phone after buckling her belt. _We're headed home_ , she texted Erin.

_I know_ was her quick reply. _I can't wait to see you._

_Is Henry asleep still?_

_I assume so. He's spending the weekend with Jack so that we can… Well, you'll see when you get home. Hurry back to me._

_I pray to God we have a tailwind, then._

All Erin replied with was a smiley face and JJ knew she'd be getting no further answers from her lover. Sighing, she tucked her phone into her pocket and sank back into the seat. Rossi's hand touched her arm and she looked up at him. "Yeah, Dave?"

"How are things at home?" he asked.

"They're going really well. We're finally settling into a routine, and that's calmed Henry a lot. Though now we're out of spare rooms, so if anyone wants to spend the night, they're left with the couch."

He grinned. "I'll have to keep that in mind." She nodded and looked out the window, staring at the passing scenery. There was still such distance between them and she wished she could teleport home and be in Erin's arms.

JJ was one of the first ones on the plane, and she claimed one of the single seats, curling up before pulling out her phone and calling up her Kindle app. She began a new book, one Erin had recommended to her, shutting out the noises around her as she lost herself in the plot.

She felt the plane begin its descent and she exited out of the app, putting the phone away and looking out at the sunset. She squirmed in her seat and heard Rossi's low chuckle. Looking up at him, she shrugged. "Hush."

"I didn't say anything, bella. Do you need a ride home?"

"Yeah. We've taken to driving only one car since she moved in."

His eyebrows shot up as he looked at her in shock. "When did that happen?"

"A couple weeks ago. And once we get Kacey back, we're going to have a complete family," she said lowly, twisting her ring. He smiled at her and nodded as they stood up. "Do you need to stop in at your office for any reason?"

"No, we can head right out." She smiled with relief and fairly skipped off the plane. Morgan and Hotch loaded their luggage in the back of the waiting SUV while they claimed their spots in the vehicle. For once, JJ was glad Morgan was driving, since he had a lead foot that got them back to the parking garage in no time flat.

"Have a good weekend, everyone!" she called out as she and Dave went over to his Cadillac. Emily waved to her and she waved back before getting into the passenger seat. "PG and Hotch have Henry for the weekend," she blurted out as he started the car.

"It's that night?" She nodded and felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "You guys have been together this long and not had sex?" Again, she nodded, and he chuckled slightly.

"Well, you know how Victor was. We had to build up a firm foundation of trust before beginning the physical part of our relationship. Maybe you should try that sometime, Rossi."

He shrugged. "It seems to have worked for you guys so far, hasn't it? I've never seen her so in love, Jen, and this is going to sound weird coming from my lips, but, do not ever hurt her. I shudder to think of what the fallout from that would be."

JJ shook her head and smacked his upper arm lightly. "We've had arguments before, Dave. But we know we trust each other and would never deliberately hurt one another. She's everything I thought I would find in Will." Sighing, she looked out the window and up at the start.

The rest of the drive was quiet, which suited her just fine. When he pulled into the driveway, the first things she noticed was that not a single light was on. This ramped up her nerves, and she smiled a little at Rossi. "Have a good night, bella. I'm sure it will be perfectly special for both of you."

"Thanks." She leaned over and kissed his cheek before getting out of the car and grabbing her bag from the back seat. Going over to the door, she turned to wave at him before slipping inside. Taking off her shoes, she set her bag down in the closet before making her way to the staircase. Looking up, she could see a faint light on in their bedroom.

JJ took the steps two at a time, breathing in deeply before turning the doorknob and pushing the door in. The heady scent of flowers overwhelmed her senses as she stepped into the room. "Welcome home, Jennifer." Her gaze was drawn to the bed and she felt her breath sucked from her lungs. Her Chloris, her Erin, was stretched out on their bed, a thoroughly decadent negligee covering her body.

"Erin, you look amazing," she murmured, raking her eyes up and down her lover's body. Erin smiled, getting off the bed and stalking over to JJ's side. She captured her lips in a hungry kiss and maneuvered her over to the bed. Erin knelt on the floor between her legs and reached up to unbutton her blouse. JJ loved this side of her Erin, and she smiled down on her. "Do I get to kiss you at all?"

"Not yet, Jennifer. That will be for later. Now is my time to love on you. I want to bring you so much pleasure, you've waited so long for me to be ready for this, and you deserve to have your every desire fulfilled."

JJ sighed softly and buried her fingers in Erin's thick hair, tugging her in for another kiss. "I think I'm just going to steal those kisses, then."

Erin playfully smacked her arm before slipping the blouse from her shoulders. "No, Jenny. I am going to be the one in control for the first round of lovemaking. All right?" There was a sweet, hesitant, look in her eyes, and JJ nodded. "Thank you."

JJ just smiled as she watched Erin kneel on the floor and make short work of the belt that was around her waist. It didn't take long for her pants to join the pile of clothes that littered the floor and still, JJ had to fight not to take the lead from Erin. As Erin slowly made her way up JJ's body, though, she had to reach out and cup her ass, pulling her closer to her. "Erin, you are absolutely delicious. May I please have another kiss?"

"Since you asked so nicely, yes, you may." The kiss this time was sweet and tender, something that she had come to love about Erin, and she knew enough not to deepen the kiss, to let Erin take her own pace. "And now for your bra," she said lowly as she fumbled with the clasp, finally getting it undone and pulling it off, letting it flutter to the floor. "I was hoping that you were going to be home earlier. I wanted to take a shower with you, but now I find that I cannot wait to devour you. Is this normal?"

"It can be. And I don't need to shower right now, I took one last night, and we have the entire weekend to get clean. I sort of want to be dirty with you, right now."

As JJ watched, Erin's pupils dilated a little more with desire, and she gave a jerky nod before wrapping her arms around JJ's waist and pulling her over to the bed. JJ let gravity pull them down and she smiled as she lay beneath Erin, staring up into her beloved's face. "Oh, you are so beautiful, Jenny." Erin lowered herself down so that the only thing that separated their flesh was the thin fabric of her negligee and JJ's panties.

"Not half as beautiful as you are, my darling Chloris." JJ buried her fingers in Erin's hair as she lifted her head up for a kiss. Erin nipped at her lower lip gently before beginning to ghost down her neck, stopping to breathe in deeply at the hollow of her neck before letting her tongue flicker against the skin there. JJ felt her core clench at the move and she struggled to keep her movements soft and gentle, not wanting to hurt or spook Erin. "More, please?"

"In good time. I want to worship you, Jennifer." The husky tone of Erin's voice sent shivers up and down JJ's back and she nodded heavily as Erin began to press large kisses against her skin. The sensation of her lips caused JJ to moan and gasp lightly, and she felt Erin smile a little as she started to run her tongue down the center of her chest, bypassing her breasts.

"Erin!" she whined, tugging a little forcefully on a hank of hair.

"Is there something that you want, darling?" she purred as she rested her cheek on JJ's stomach.

"Yes. You know how sensitive my breasts are."

"Which is why I'm going to avoid them for the moment. I want to go down on you, Jennifer, I want to make this last, and I know how tightly wound you are. Humor me?"

JJ nodded before caressing her hair softly. "All right, my love. Whatever you want."

"Thank you." Erin smiled at her before turning her head and pressing kisses to her stomach, moving down to the elastic band of her panties. She ran her tongue along that line and JJ arched her hips up in offering to Erin, encouraging her to continue. Her lover nodded a little before hooking her fingers into the waistband and slowly dragging it down her legs. JJ's body squirmed with anticipation as those careful, measured, movements that Erin so loved seemed to make the endeavor take much longer than it should. "We're almost there, darling. I have you."

The calm words seemed to only hasten JJ's need for Erin, and she heard herself whine as Erin finally stripped her panties off her legs. "Please, Erin, I need you," she panted out, biting her lips as she grabbed her breast and massaged it with one hand, the other digging into the sheets.

The way that Erin chuckled nearly undid her, but then she began to kiss her way up JJ's left leg, stopping to run her tongue along the crease of her knee. JJ gasped a little before running her thumb over her nipple, the sensation seeming to have a direct line to her core. "Stop, Jennifer. Now." The teasing tone in her lover's voice caused her to nod, and she released her breast to shove the now free hand into her hair. Unconsciously, she spread her legs wider to give Erin better access to her, and JJ could feel the way that her lover smiled against her lower thigh.

"I am so close, Erin. So close."

"Do you need me to stop?"

JJ shook her head wildly, trying to import to Erin just how much she wanted her in that moment. "No, I need you to make love to me. Please." She raised her head and met Erin's eyes, seeing the love and bliss that were evident there. "I need you like I never needed Will. Make me yours."

"Gladly, Jenny." She sighed a little and JJ sighed in return, only to gasp as Erin fitted herself in between JJ's legs, her lips coming in contact with her labia. Her eyes rolled back in her head as Erin wriggled her facile tongue in to lick and tease her clit.

"Yes, just like that, more," she cried, surprised at finding herself so vocal. She had never been like that with Will. And then, all rational thought fled her brain as Erin began to earnestly eat her out. It didn't take long for JJ to give herself over to the orgasm. As she came down from the crest, she registered Erin snuggling up close to her, her head coming to rest on her chest, right above her heart. "Erin."

"Was it good for you?" she asked, sounding so hesitant and unsure that JJ couldn't help but feel a surge of love sweep over her.

"It was perfect, Erin. Everything that I knew I could feel from you." JJ carefully tangled her fingers in Erin's hair and tugged her head up so that she could give her lover a hard kiss. "And now, I get to return the favor. Because there is no way I am letting you go to sleep tonight without me loving on you. Because I love you." The words tumbled from her lips so freely, and Erin sighed lovingly as she smiled.

"That will be the next goal, Jenny." Bright tears sparkled in Erin's eyes, and JJ leaned forward for another kiss, wanting to comfort her before making love to her. Erin clasped her hand and brought it up to her face, kissing the palm softly. "It's here, trying to break through the ice I've encased my heart in. You've been so patient with me thus far; can you wait just a little while longer?"

"Of course, Erin." She cupped her lover's face as she smiled sweetly, leaning in to brush her lips against Erin's before pressing kisses down the column of her neck, running her tongue along the crease where head met neck. The move must have felt good to Erin, as a quiet moan slipped from her lips. JJ nipped a little at the skin there before trailing her lips down Erin's chest to capture one stiff nipple between her lips as she pushed the negligee down Erin's body.

"Jenny," she cooed out as her legs scissored up and down, trying to stimulate herself. JJ smiled as she began to suck. She knew that Erin enjoyed this, so she took her time to make certain that she had thoroughly explored the sweet softness of her breast before moving on to the other side. This time, she scraped her teeth against the taut bud, listening to the way that Erin whined with pleasure. Carefully, she grasped the nipple between her teeth and tugged on it, running her hand down to Erin's core and finding her wet and wanting already. JJ slipped two fingers into Erin's tight channel, taking care not to be too rough or jerky with her movements. "Mmm, that feels nice, darling."

"Good," she whispered before starting to slide her fingers in and out, letting her thumb softly rub against her lover's clit. Erin's hips began to move restlessly as JJ ramped up her movements, trying to bring the most pleasure that she could to Erin. The moans and coos the spilled from Erin's lips made her smile and she renewed her attention at Erin's breasts, nipping and sucking with careful abandon as she drove Erin towards her orgasm.

"Jenny!" she screamed as she came, and JJ nodded, kissing her way back up her chest to claim Erin's lips in a deep kiss as she slipped her fingers out of Erin's body. "Oh, my Jenny," she said hoarsely when they'd broken the kiss. "Hold me?"

"For as long as you want me to, my beloved, beautiful, Erin." JJ pulled her tightly to her body, spooning herself to fit around Erin's body. She wasn't surprised to feel her lover take her hands and position them where she wanted them – over her stomach and heart. "Does this make you feel the most protected?"

"Yes. Thank you." JJ nodded as she pressed her lips against the back of Erin's head, holding her until she went asleep, never commenting on the fact that her shoulders shook from her crying or the way her hands came up to cover JJ's, holding her close. It was enough to know that Erin trusted her enough to let go and be vulnerable to her. It was enough to know that their relationship had taken a new, better, turn. And it was enough to know that she was loved, even if Erin couldn't tell her those words just yet.


	19. Chapter 19

Erin was still sleeping when JJ woke up the next morning, which made her smile a little. Leaning over, she pressed her lips to the lobe of Erin's ear before tugging it gently with her teeth. This move brought Erin to wakefulness, and she stretched against JJ before turning and pressing her lips blindly to JJ's. "Good morning, my love," she groaned out as she wrapped her arms around JJ's waist, turning them so that she was atop her. "That was wonderful."

"I was hoping that it would be, Erin," she murmured as she locked eyes with the woman.

"I feel so silly in waiting so long to make love, and you made everything so lovely and perfect and gorgeous. Can you forgive me for making you wait?"

JJ giggled a little as she shook her head, tugging Erin down so that she was flush against her body. "There's nothing to forgive, Erin. I just wish that we could have a proper date day, but Penelope is going to run Jack and Henry by in about an hour."

They sighed in unison, and then JJ was running her hand through Erin's sleep tousled hair, leaning up a little so that she could kiss her deeply. "Kisses like that are not going to help us any, you realize, darling Athena. We'll need to get moving if we're to be decent by the time that Penelope and Aaron drop the kids off."

"Ever the realist." JJ kissed her once more before she rolled off Erin and climbed off the bed. As she held her hand out to her lover, she took in the way that she looked, her eyes so clear and bright, shining with love. "I still can't believe that we're a couple," she whispered as Erin took hold of her hand. The woman shrugged a little before squeezing her hand tightly. "What?"

"I still can't believe you managed to worm your way past my defenses. I wasn't looking for love so soon after everything that went down in my life."

The word love, slipping so casually from Erin's lips, surprised JJ, but she knew enough not to mention it, as she didn't want Erin to shut down once more. "I wasn't expecting this, either. But it is ever so sweet." She nodded and together they went into the bathroom. As Erin began to run the water for a shower, the phone rang, and JJ leaned down, pressing a kiss to the base of her neck. "I'll get that, Erin."

"All right, I'll just wait here for you." Erin smiled at her and JJ groaned a little, not wanting to wait to feel Erin's body against her once more.

Jogging into the bedroom, she picked up her cellphone and answered without looking to see who it was. "Hello?"

"Jayje! How'd it go last night?"

She smiled to hear her best friend's voice, sounding cheery and chipper despite the time. "It was everything that I hoped it would be. We were actually just about to step into the shower, so, is this important?"

"A little. How much would you love me if I said that we were taking Jack and Henry on a weekend trip to New York City? Aaron met a curator for the Met, and she was able to get us a behind the scenes look at the newest exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History. Sometimes, it is really nice to have friends in high places. I promise, we'll have him back before bedtime tomorrow night."

JJ let out a high pitched squeal as she danced around a little. "PG, you are fucking amazing! Make certain you give that man of yours an extra kiss for me and Erin. And his curator friend, too."

"I knew that you'd love me for this. We'll see you tomorrow!"

Penelope hung up before JJ could answer and she grinned as she skipped into the bathroom. Erin was sitting on the edge of the tub, wearing a dreamy smile as she hummed under her breath. "Jenny, you're back! And you look so happy. Who was on the phone?"

"Garcia. We have the entire weekend to ourselves, now. She's taking Henry with Jack and Aaron up to New York City, which means that we have extra time to spend together."

"I knew that Penelope was a good asset to our team," Erin replied as she stood and wrapped her arms around JJ's neck. "But whatever are we going to do with ourselves? We can't spend the thirty some hours in bed."

"We can't?" JJ asked with a pout, and Erin shook her head, giving her a secret smile, one that she knew was reserved just for her. "Well, I suppose that we could go out for a movie and dinner. And we could use the dark of the theater to make out like teenagers."

"Well, there is that," Erin said as she stepped into the shower, looking at JJ expectantly. Nodding, she clambered in and positioned herself behind Erin so that the water would hit her back first. Erin lowered her lips to JJ's shoulder, kissing it softly before molding her body to hers and reaching for the taps. The water was perfect when it came out of the showerhead, and she groaned aloud with pleasure as she stood beneath the spray. "No fair, Jenny," Erin whispered as she turned them to the side so that the water could drench her, too.

"God, I love looking at you. I don't think I'll ever get my fill," she blurted out as she stared at her lover. Erin blushed a little, trying hard to keep her hands from covering her waist, and JJ smiled indulgently as she reached out and caressed the silvery stretch marks that decorated her skin. "Everything about you is beautiful."

"Even though I'm so old?"

JJ shook her head as she leaned in to kiss her lips. "No, you are not so old, my sweet Chloris. You are perfect for me, and that is the last that I'll hear on that matter. Now, turn so that the water wets your hair. I want the pleasure of washing it this morning."

Erin blushed as even deeper as she did as told, and JJ leaned back against the wall of the shower so that she could watch her. The water, though warm, had pebbled Erin's nipples, and she wondered how thick her control was that morning. Before she could stop herself, JJ reached out and pinched those inviting peaks softly, causing Erin to lock eyes with her, a look of desire making her eyes hazy. "Jenny?"

"I want to do so much more than wash your hair, Erin," she whispered, letting her hands cup her lover's breasts, kneading them and making her breaths come out short and clipped. "Come closer," she whispered, tugging on her breasts. Erin stumbled forward and JJ grinned as she turned her lover around, letting her face the water before picking up the bottle of shampoo and pouring some onto Erin's scalp. It didn't take long to work up a good lather, and then JJ was running her soapy hands down to Erin's breasts and massaging them once more, loving the feel of Erin arching against her, trying to increase her pleasure.

Keeping one hand on a breast, JJ slid the other down to Erin's mons and delicately rubbed against the warm flesh. Soft gasps began to tear from Erin's throat as she bucked against JJ's hands, her orgasm taking them both by surprise. Somehow, Erin managed to turn herself in JJ's arms, and then their lips were mashing together in a ferocious kiss. "I think that you've woken an animal in my, Jennifer," Erin gasped out as she broke the kiss, her deep breaths sounding harsh and guttural to JJ's ears.

"Good. I want you to know how much pleasure the physical side of love can bring. I want you to have this passion in your life. I want you to feel with me."

"I don't think I could ever go back to the woman I once was. Not now, not when I've experienced this. Oh, do hurry up so that we can head to lunch. I want to show the world that I can do this. That I can be in a functional relationship."

There was a tenderness in Erin's eyes that had JJ nodding as she picked up the shampoo bottle once more, quickly washing her hair while Erin worked conditioner into hers. They traded places until they were both clean, stealing kisses along the way, and then the water turned cold, and they both shivered as they stepped out. "Will you let me pick your outfit?"

"If you want to, Jenny." Again, a tender look came to her eyes, and JJ nodded before handing her a towel. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to how much you indulge me, you know. You've made a place for my daughter, even if she doesn't come home until the minute she turns eighteen. You've let me into Henry's life. There are so many little things that I am most grateful for, and I wish that I could find words for them all."

"As long as you keep talking to me, and don't shut me out, then the words will come, with time. After all, if we tell each other everything all at once, there won't be anything left for the rest of our relationship. I want to build up a slow burn in us, so that we can last the tests of time." As she wrapped another towel around her body, JJ leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on Erin's forehead. "I want us to last forever," she whispered, not certain if she wanted Erin to hear that of not.

"I want that, too," came the whispered reply, and she nodded.

"All right, let's go find us clothes," she said as she took hold of Erin's hand and led them back into the bedroom. "I seem to recall that you left this beautiful dress in the closet from the last time you moved clothes over. Hopefully, I can find it."

Erin nodded as she took a seat on the bed. JJ glanced over her shoulder at her lover, giving her an exaggerated wink, giggling at the way Erin rolled her eyes at her. That was something JJ was most grateful for, that the prickly, sarcastic, side of Erin had not been reduced to mush as they had fallen in… Once more, JJ shied away from using the word love, not certain that she was ready to think of their relationship in those terms or not.

Turning back to the closet, JJ thumbed through Erin's side, looking for the dress she knew was there. Finally, her fingers touched the light silk and she pulled it out, handing the dress over to Erin. "Oh, this is my favorite dress, too, Jenny," she whispered as she let the towel drop. "How did you know?"

She shrugged a little as Erin made her way to the dresser, pulling out a matching bra and panty set that seemed made for the outfit. "There was just something about your eyes when you wore it last. It was as if that garment made you so happy that it shone from you, if that makes sense."

Erin nodded as she fastened the bra. "It does. Please, find something to match me. I want to look like a committed couple while we're out."

JJ was floored by her casual statement, and she gulped as she nodded. Switching to her side of the closet, she looked for her deep purple blouse, finally finding it all the way in the back. "Would you prefer a skirt or pants?"

"A skirt. I remember when you used to wear those sexy pencil skirts to work, and thinking that I wished my legs still looked that good."

That little piece of information pleased JJ to no end, and she smiled before taking out a tight black skirt, knowing that it would drive Erin wild. It didn't take her long to dress, and then she was watching Erin work on her hair and makeup. "So, do you have any places in mind to head to?" she asked as she pulled her hair back into a slick ponytail.

"How about Carrabba's? I'm in the mood for Italian food."

JJ nodded and took Erin's outstretched hand, leading her down the stairs and out to the garage. She slid behind the wheel, though she was loathe to let go of Erin's hand for the time it took to drive to the restaurant. There was just a magical feeling about the day and the way that everything had come together.

From the way that Erin stared at her the entire time, she knew that she was feeling a little of the same, and they both sighed in unison. "This really is sweet, Erin. The only thing that could possibly make this more perfect would be for Kacey to be here. I hope that Aaron can figure out something that we can use as leverage."

"I hope so, too, Jenny." She pulled into a parking spot and was surprised when Erin came around to her side, opening the door for her and helping her from the car before almost plastering herself to her side. "I'm sorry, we're not going to be the cutsey couple that shares the same side of the booth, though. There's only so far that I'm willing to go in public."

"I think that I can live with that, Erin. And it is a little weird to do that, anyway. I wouldn't be able to look at you as we ate if we did that." She reached down and threaded their fingers together, wanting to have that sweet contact.

It was surprisingly slow for a Saturday afternoon, so they were seated right away, and Erin bent over the menu, giving JJ the perfect opportunity to study her. They hadn't been on too many dates before, so this was a lovely gift that Penelope had given them. "If you keep staring at me, you won't be ready when our server comes," she said without ever looking up.

"One day, I'll learn your secret," JJ said as she opened her menu, perusing the options available to her. She finally settled on the Lobster Ravioli before setting aside it aside and going back to more pleasant pursuits. Sighing, Erin set her menu atop JJ's before slipping off her reading glasses and sticking them in her purse. "I have a fantasy," she blurted out, just as the waitress came up to their table.

"So, what would you ladies like for lunch?" the older woman asked, seemingly unfazed by JJ's words.

Erin smirked at JJ before turning her attention to the woman. "I'll have the Mezzaluna and we'll be splitting a bottle of the Blackstone Pinot Noir. Jennifer?"

"Lobster Ravioli for me, please." The waitress nodded and moved off to put their order in, and JJ watched Erin pick up her glass of water and take a sip. "All right, now that she's gone, may I please tell you my fantasy?"

She sighed a little as she nodded. "All right, but be a smidgeon more discreet, please?"

"Of course. So, um, you're really hot when you wear your glasses. Like, I would take you in a heartbeat if we were home. And I know that your office doesn't have any cameras in it, since you handle such sensitive data."

"I think I know where this is heading, Jennifer."

The way her name slipped off Erin's tongue made JJ squirm in her seat a little, and she bit her lip a little before squeaking out, "Really? Where?"

"You want me to call you into my office, and I'll look up from the current report I'm reviewing. You'll take a seat in front of me, and I'll tell you that I have to discipline you, that you've been a naughty girl. And then things will take their natural course until you're eating me out under my desk. And bonus points if one of the others walks in on us?"

"Oh, wow, you totally took that to the next level. I am so glad that you're in my life." JJ reached across the table for Erin's hand, and without hesitation, Erin clasped it and brought it to her lips, kissing the palm. "May we try that?"

"In time, yes. Once I'm comfortable with sex and we've had a few more nights of pleasure under our belts. I think that I just need to get a little courage in me?"

The hesitation in Erin's voice endeared her all the more to JJ, and she squeezed her hand twice before giving her a brilliant smile. "Oh, I am more than willing to build that courage in you, my dear. Just wait until we get home."


	20. Chapter 20

"All right, if we're not out on a case, I'll come back and pick you up at five. Have a good day!" JJ smiled before leaning in and kissing Erin deeply.

"You as well, Jenny," she whispered before tugging her down in her lap and brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm loathe to give you up after the weekend we spent together. What is this madness you've fired in me?"

"Whatever it is, you've fired the same madness in me." Erin smiled and then leaned in to kiss her once more. "I should probably go, though, before one thing leads to another. I don't think that today is the right day for our fantasy to play out. Hopefully, we can get Henry to go to sleep early tonight."

"I'd like that, Jennifer." Erin closed her eyes before puckering her lips again. JJ couldn't help but kiss her, feeling her lover smile as she did so. "Yes, go. Now. Before I lose my resolve." Gently, Erin pushed her away and she tripped over to the door, catching the toe of her shoe on a piece of carpet. As she reached out to right herself on the doorjamb, she heard a soft giggle slip from Erin's lips, and she shook her head as she looked back over her shoulder to glare at her lover. "Go. And try to stay upright this time!"

"I'll remember this for later," she called out with a wink as she closed the door. Erika looked up at her, and it was clear that the woman was trying to conceal the fact that she wanted to giggle over that little exchange. "Have a good day, Erika! And if you want to help me out…"

"I'm sorry, my loyalty is completely to Erin. I have to work with her every day, after all." The fond smile that settled on Erika's face told JJ that Erin could probably ask her assistant to kill for her, and she would do it. "Though I must say that it is lovely to see her smile so much now, after everything that happened with her ex-husband. You've brought a light back to her, which has made my job much easier, let me tell you. It's hard to care and nurture some days, especially when you're trying to be sly about it."

"I can only imagine," she replied, giving Erika another smile. "Well, I should probably get over to the bullpen before I'm considered missing. There are still a few people there who don't know that we're a couple, and I want to be the one to broach the subject."

"Good luck with that. I know there are a few members of your team that bear some animosity towards her, for the decisions that she's had to make over the years. Perhaps now, when you get to see everything that goes into her job, you'll be able to soften her decisions a little."

JJ nodded, realizing that she was in the perfect position to be able to interpret Erin's decisions to her team. Turning, she went out into the hallway and began to head over to the bullpen, only to see Emily standing in the doorway, a puzzled look on her face. JJ schooled her features into a more placid look, not wanting to add any fuel to the fire. Her friend's eyes narrowed as she came closer to her, and JJ knew that there were wheels starting to spin in her mind. Trying to shake off the small pit of dread that was starting to form in her stomach, JJ stopped next to Emily, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Were you just in Strauss's office?" she asked as they made their way into the bullpen.

She tried not to fumble with her thoughts as they stopped at their desks, finally deciding to answer honestly. "Yeah, we met in the elevator this morning, and she mentioned that she had something to show me about a case we just closed in Arkansas. I'm still, ostensibly, the media liaison for our team, and one of the duties I have to carry out is touching base after a new development. Seems that the jury just came back with a guilty verdict, and I need to do a small blurb for the local newspaper."

Emily nodded a little, looking at her warily, but JJ just smiled as she took a seat behind her desk, pulling a file out of her inbox and getting to work. That seemed to at least mollify her friend, and she, too, settled behind her desk and went to work.

Just as JJ really got into her paperwork, she heard Hotch clear his throat, and as she looked up at his office, she could see on his face that they would be heading out on a case. Her shoulders slumped a little at the thought of missing out on time with Erin. Emily gave her another odd look, so she straightened her back as she stood up and made her way to the conference room, knowing that the announcement to meet was soon coming.

"We have a new case to brief," Hotch's voice called out, and JJ smirked a little as she continued to climb the stairs. Penelope gave her a knowing look and she nodded a little as she went into the conference room. Their tablets were laid out and as she took a seat, she started to flip through the preliminary information. Emily took a seat next to her, also flipping through the information.

"So, why don't you want to head out on a case?" Emily asked as they waited for the others to come in.

"It's harder than I thought, adjusting to being a single mom, Em. I thought I had a handle on it, until Henry started going through another clingy phase." From the skeptical look on her friend's face, she knew that she hadn't sounded too convincing that time.

Still, any further discussion was halted by Hotch closing the door firmly and heading up to the front of the room. JJ made a few notes on her tablet as he briefed the case, and then he was giving the wheel's up in thirty command. She lingered in her seat as the others got up, and Penelope reached out and rubbed her shoulder softly. Looking up at her friend, she gave her a gentle smile. "Hey."

"Hey. I know that you probably had plans with her this evening, but this case really needs our attention. Do you need a cover so that you can get things situated before we head out?"

"That would be lovely," she murmured as she looked over at the doorway. Emily was standing there, an expectant look on her face, and JJ nodded a little as she gave her friend a slight smile.

"Hotch, I'm going to go show Jayje those newspaper articles before you guys head out on this case. Don't leave without her!" Penelope took hold of JJ's hand and tugged her out the back door and down the corridor to slip into her office through the other door. "All right, we're safe in here, you have about ten minutes."

"But don't you need to say goodbye to Aaron?" she asked as she pulled out her phone and unlocked it, tapping on her contacts list.

"We'll Skype tonight, and that's as much as you need to know about that." JJ felt a warm blush creep across her cheeks as she nodded, pressing Erin's office number before bringing the phone to her ear.

"Strauss here."

"Erin, do you not look at your caller id before you answer?" she teased.

"Sorry, darling, I was too deep into this report to look up. Is something wrong?"

"It depends on your definition of wrong. We're heading out on a case, so I won't be home tonight. And I so wanted to have some delicious alone time with you. I guess that it will just be you and Henry hanging out tonight, though."

"Does it look like it will be a bad case?"

JJ made a low sound of indecision in the back of her throat, thinking over the details of the case. "Obviously, it's bad enough for us to head out there, but I don't think that it will be particularly long? At least, that's the overall feel I get from things. We're going to be in the air for about three hours, though, and I just don't want to think about traveling for that long. And Emily is starting to get suspicious, but that seems to be par for the course, these days. I'm getting tired of tiptoeing around our relationship with her, but I don't want her to go off on you. That wouldn't be fair."

"No, it wouldn't, but perhaps you should tell her, before things get too out of control. After all, you do work with her closely, and you need to trust her to have your back in the field, just in case something goes wrong."

An exasperated sigh slipped from JJ's lips as she recognized that Erin was completely correct. "All right, the next time that it comes up between us, I will reveal the secret I've been keeping."

"Thank you, darling. Now, I really must get back to this report, if you want to get paid, that is."

"All right. I'll talk to you tonight?"

"Sounds good. I love you."

And before JJ could reply, Erin had hung up. She gaped at the handset, thinking about how unfair it was that Erin had so casually slipped those words into her conversation ender. "What is it, Jayje?" Penelope asked as she continued to stare at the phone.

"She just told me that she loves me."

"And that's a problem why?"

JJ glanced up at her, her brow still wrinkled in confused indignation. "Because I expected my first time hearing those words from her to be in a slightly more romantic setting. Not so casually said that I almost miss them."

Penelope giggled as she patted her arm lightly. "You're ridiculous, you do realise this, yes?" JJ shook her head. "Yes, you are. The fact that she felt confident enough to casually say that to you means that she considers your relationship to be on solid ground."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh, Jayje. You're lucky to have that foundation with her. Just like I'm lucky to have my foundation with Aaron. Now, you should probably get going, if you want to get on the plane."

She nodded and let out a deep sigh before turning on her heel and made her way out to her desk in the bullpen. Emily was waiting by it, a hard look on her face, and JJ knew that she would be having that conversation with her sooner rather than later. "I figured that we could ride to the airfield together, seeing as how I didn't see your car in the parking garage this morning."

JJ shrugged a little as she slung her go bag over her shoulder, heading towards the elevators without saying a word to Emily, as that was really not the way she wanted to introduce the topic of her relationship with Erin. "Things happen," she said tersely as the doors opened and they stepped inside, Hotch hastily joining them just as the doors were beginning to close. "Are you going to drive, Hotch?"

"I can, yeah."

"Good."

A tense silence fell over them, and JJ wondered what would be the thing to cause it to break. To her surprise, it was her phone ringing that got everyone's attention, and she pulled it out, looking at the display and seeing the small note of encouragement from Erin. "I can't believe Penelope told her," she murmured, before realizing that she was still in the elevator with Hotch and Emily.

"Told who what?" Emily asked lowly, as if she knew that JJ was about to reveal everything that she had been keeping close to the vest for so many months.

She gave Hotch an almost panicked look before swallowing thickly and turning her focus on Emily. It was the now or never moment, and she hoped that this news wouldn't affect the case in any way. "She told my girlfriend that I was probably going to be having this talk with you soon, and she was wishing me good luck."

"Girlfriend?" The single word was drawn out, as if Emily was trying to put pieces together in her mind as she spoke. "Oh, my god. No. No. You are not seriously…"

"What Emily? What am I not doing?" she asked lowly, praying that no one else got on the elevator with them, because there was a bombshell about to be dropped, one that she did not want anyone else to know.

"You're dating Strauss! It all makes sense now, why you've been telling us to go easier on her, why you've been so secretive about who you're dating. I can't believe you would lower yourself to being with her!"

The disgust on Emily's face hurt JJ deeply, and she pursed her lips tightly together so that she wouldn't say something sharp in response. As she took a few deep breaths to center herself once more, Hotch instead spoke up. "I know that you're reacting from a place of distrust and anger, Emily, however I have been privy to their relationship since before JJ lost her baby. What you see as JJ lowering herself is actually a beautiful happening. The changes that I and Penelope have seen in Erin over the course of the last few months is nothing short of revelatory for us."

Tears stung her eyes and JJ shook her head a little to clear them as she stared at Hotch in shocked happiness. His words were precisely what she needed to hear in that moment, as they confirmed what she had hoped, that he did approve of what was rapidly solidifying between her and Erin. "But she sold JJ out to the State Department! She tried to get me to spy on you, and get you fired! At every turn, Strauss has stymied our efforts to become a real team, and now she's bamboozled JJ into thinking she's changed and I don't see how you can be all right with her seducing a vulnerable member of our team!"

JJ flinched a little as Hotch reached out and pressed the emergency stop button on the elevator, causing it to come to a harsh halt. "I will thank you to keep such thoughts to yourself, and not air them to JJ or the rest of the team. JJ and Erin connected before she lost the pregnancy, and I watched how tender they were with each other as they both grieved for something that would have brought them both much joy. I know you don't understand what it might be like to lose a pregnancy, but it is devastating. Haley and Erin were pregnant at the same time, but only one of them had a baby. I never said anything, as it wasn't my place, but I understood why Erin was so much harder on my team."

"Hotch…"

"No, Emily. I'm sorry, but if you can't be respectful of their relationship, then you can at least refrain from discussing it with others. Or are you going to put your team member's life in danger in the field because you can't handle the fact that two adults happened to fall in love?"

That seemed to mollify Emily a little, since she blushed and looked away from them as Hotch started up the elevator once more. JJ blinked a little as she tried to will away her tears, but still, a few crept down her cheeks as she pulled out her phone and quickly texted Erin, wanting to let her know how much she was loved. "I never planned for this to happen, I'll have you know. She went with me to New Orleans to help me claim Henry. And then, she just sort of stayed."

A dreamy smile spread across her lips, and she watched as Hotch shook his head a little, mirth dancing on his face. "That's what Penny would say happened between us, too. Isn't it funny that certain people can do that with us?"

JJ nodded as her phone buzzed in her hand. Looking down at the screen, she saw that she had a photo message, and she opened it to see Erin's face gazing up at her, a bright smile on her lips. The combination of Emily knowing about their relationship, and hearing Erin tell her that she loved her had lifted a weight off JJ's shoulders that she hadn't realized she'd been carrying until that moment. "I think everyone except Derek knows now. I was going to leave you for last, Emily, since I knew this would be difficult for you to accept. We're happy, as happy as we can be, without Kacey here, and isn't that all that should matter to you?"

Emily's shoulders were still tense when she turned to look at JJ, and there was a deep frown on her lips. "I just can't look past everything she's done to us."

"Maybe you should look at things from a different perspective for once, Em. She was doing what she had to, in order to keep her job. We are a bit reckless at times, everyone knows that, even us. And she did her level best to ensure that we remained together. Even after everything that happened to us, she still made certain that we were together. She fought to get me back from the State Department."

"No, she didn't."

"Actually, she did. And never bothered to tell me she had been doing the heavy lifting to get JJ back with our team. There is a lot of delicate political maneuvering that went into the negotiations, something I would never have been able to navigate, since politics aren't my strong suit. And just like each of us wear a mask to show the public, so does Erin. It's just that we can see behind those masks, since we've known each other for so long. JJ's seen behind Erin's, and in time, we might as well."

Emily just arched one eyebrow upwards as she looked between JJ and Hotch. "You can't force me to like her."

"I'm not asking that of you, Em. All I'm asking is that you give her a chance."

A resigned look came over her face before she nodded slowly. "For you, Jayje, I suppose that I could at least try," she finally said, and JJ knew that was as far as they were going to get at this point, and she was grateful for at least having that small start.


End file.
